My half-sister (sheesh, I really hate that term. I'm going to have to figure out something else!) emailed two messages to me today; one with pictures of herself and her family. She has a beautiful family. The pictures weren't very close up, and so I strained and strained to see some sort of resemblence. I didn't see anything familiar, but I did see very friendly faces.

She told me about her family, what the kids are doing and what she likes to do. That was really great to read and it helped to get to know her a little better. She seems like a really, really nice person.

The other email told me more about our father and she included lots of pictures of him. The first picture I opened, I could have sworn was my oldest son. It literally stunned me. He even had a goatee and sideburns in the picture just like my son has now. I scoured over each picture and with each picture I could see that he looked like a really fun and, more importantly, a nice man.

My cousin K1 was right when he wrote to me after looking at an old photo, "Look into his eyes in that photo... you can tell a lot about him just by studying that photo."

She told me more about our father that made me very wistful. Everything I'd been told all my life was a lie. I believe every word she wrote to me. I've asked her if I can share parts of her email here on my blog, and I will wait until I receive permission from her. Even though I didn't know this man, I'm starting to feel pride in the fact that I share in this gene pool. He's the type of person I'd be drawn to; passionate, kind and funny.

At the same time, I feel sad that I never had the opportunity to learn these things about him for myself. This is where the upside-down title comes from. I used to not care about the fact that I didn't know him, because of what I was lead to believe. Now I wish I'd of known him because of what I'm learning. It's difficult to rationalize how I'm feeling. I suppose feelings aren't supposed to be rational, right?

I'm afraid that you all are going to have to bear with me for a while while I sort through all of this.

On another note, I have another HOLY COW I'll be sharing in a few days. I'm waiting until announcements have been made to the appropriate parties before I blog about it.

...and no, I'm not pregnant.