I was looking something up and came across a post from around the time that I had the first head bonk. It was two years ago, in the middle of the night on June 16th. I don’t know why I was surprised that it’s been two years already. So much has happened since that time, eh?

It's amazing to me to think that the first head bonk, which seemed so innocuous at the time is still plaguing me. Well, I guess that last head bonk is plaguing me too, but that's another story for another day.

I've come so far from the early stages of the head bonk and I think much of it has to do with my neurologist (reminding myself to thank her when I see her on Monday). She wouldn't give me a 'hall pass' to take time off work because that would have been the worst thing that I could have done, according to her. I remember how emotionally painful it was to not be able to think in public, or private for that matter. To make things worse, I'd just started working in a new department with people that didn't know me. Well, they didn't know the 'old' me.

Funny, when I started sharing my story with some- they'd say, "you mean you were SMARTER than THIS?" Heh. I think I hid my struggles from my co-workers well, with the exception of a couple of people.

My neurologist originally told me that what I ended up with at one year would be probably what I'd see the rest of my life. Then she changed her mind after that first anniversary and said two years was the mark at which we'd say, "this is the new Lori". I'd say the two year out Lori is the same as the one year out Lori and you're stuck with her.

All in all, the new Lori isn't too bad. I get frustrated with her because she still takes a while to figure things out and then immediately forgets how and she needs people to fill in her sentences more often than not. The new Lori can't sleep without a weird concoction of medications and can't concentrate without another medication.

But the new Lori is still the same person emotionally and spiritually. I'm still the same person, underneath it all, and I'm thankful for that.