Waxing poetic today, me thinks.

My grandmother has passed away. I knew it was going to happen sooner, rather than later based on what I saw when I went down for her 97th birthday in February. I knew then that it would be the last time I'd see her.

It's been an amazing five years. I could go down the "I feel cheated" road, but as I stand back and look at things, I know for certain that everything happened exactly as it should have. I'd never trade one life (the one I would have had if I'd grown up knowing my biological father) for the other (the one I had growing up with my dad.) I'm sad I missed out on all of the years knowing my grandmother, but I choose not to focus on that.

Instead, I choose to focus on the miracle that she was still alive and well at 92 years of age, allowing me to get to know her and love her as my grandmother.

I'm still meeting people from my father's family as recently as a month or so ago, and my relationship with my half-sister is growing. We don't talk often, but when we do we never run out of things to talk about. I guess that's what happens when you have 40 some-odd years to catch up on.

I've saved every letter my grandmother has written to me and there is no doubt in my mind that she left this world knowing that I loved her and was grateful that we found each other. I know she loved me too, because she never missed an opportunity to tell me that. How awesome is that?

My belief system tells me that she's together with her husband, my father and my aunt (who died a couple of years ago) and that they're having a wonderful visit. I don't judge those who don't have a belief system in an afterlife, but I'd be kicking and screaming on my death bed if I thought that's all there was. I could be wrong, but I sure hope not.

I fly in to California next week to stay with someone I've never met in person, but I sure like her! She was married to my father's brother long ago and is the mother of a cousin that I plan to get to know a whole lot better. I had to laugh as we were making plans for her to pick me up from the airport. She wrote, "don't get in the car with strangers!" We've never seen each other in real life, met each other via FB just a couple of months ago, and all I know is that she'll be driving a black Altima.

....I like to live on the edge.

I'm still processing all of this and can't really put my finger on how I'm feeling. I'm sure after the funeral I'll be more in touch with my feelings. Right now I feel removed from my emotions. Not necessarily a good thing, but something I've perfected over the years.

Rest in peace, sweet Munner. My life is better for having known you.