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Saturday, May 21, 2005

The bond between siblings
I had a pretty powerful experience today while making my Hospice calls. It seems that every time I write about my Hospice calls I mention how amazed I am at the timing of things. Today was no exception.

While on my way to Hospice House, I gave my brother a call. It has been a couple of weeks since I've talked to him and I wanted to see how he was doing. After talking to him I turned on the CD player and the next song was one that always makes me think about my brother and sister. I'll post the lyrics at the bottom of this post.

I have a unique bond with my brother and sister. One that comes from shared circumstances beyond normal childhood experiences. The relationship with my sister is vastly different from the relationship I have with my brother, yet I love them both fiercely and I'd gladly lay down my life for each of them. I mean that with every fiber of my being.

My sister is nine years younger than me and we seem to have switched roles in our lifetime. I used to be her protector and now she is mine. She is the protector of my secrets and most sacred thoughts. She gives me a safe place to share my joy as well as my fear. There is no doubt in my mind that we were meant to be sisters even though we do not share a biological bond. The bond we share goes much deeper than biology.

As I listened to the song in my CD player, I thought about how blessed I am that we love each other the way we do. I've had friends who, even as adults, do not get along with their siblings. This always makes me sad for them because there is something special between siblings that is hard to explain. For me, it's solid and it's unconditional.

When I got to Hospice House and pulled my first file, I saw that it was that of a man who had died in his mid-fifties. I had five phone calls to make: one to his daughter, and calls to his siblings. As I read further, I saw that at the moment he died, two of his siblings were each holding his hand. I have in the past imagined myself in this exact scenario, leaving this world with my brother on one side of me and my sister on the other.

While reading through the file I imagined what it would be like if I had to watch my brother or sister die and it was too painful to think about. I was almost afraid to pick up the phone and start making the calls, but I'm so glad that I did. I spent almost two hours talking with this man's siblings and was so touched by their bond. They each took turns caring for him at the end of his life and they shared very different, yet equally loving experiences. Just like my bond with my sister and brother, they each had unique and very strong bonds with each other.

Two of them shared with me how they never got along when they were kids, but as they grew older they became closer and closer. Now their greatest joy is when they get to spend time together. I could hear the love they felt for each other as they shared stories with me. And even though the death of their brother was sad, they have wonderful memories of the time they spent with him.

One sister said, "Taking care of my brother never felt like a chore to me because I loved him".

Today was truly a beautiful experience for me. How could I not love what I do when I am provided experiences such as this?

When I got in the car, I played that song again and it had even more meaning than it ever. I'm not sure I'll ever hear it again and not think about this family and the service and love that they showed for their brother.

Lucky are we that have siblings.

Here are the lyrics.

Whenever You're In Trouble
Lyrics - Donny Osmond
Album - What I Meant To Say

Tell me from the heart
in your eyes I see the pain
It’s tearing you apart
let me take it all away
You know someone believes in you
when they love you no matter what you do
You know you are home
and you're not alone

Whenever you're in trouble,
whenever you may need me
I will fight for you,
I will help you through
Whenever life’s deceiving
I'll give you new meaning
No matter where you are,
you're always in my heart
Whenever you're in trouble I will be right here

Sometimes you're gonna find
nothing goes the way you planned
But whatever’s on your mind
I will try to understand
You know someone is by your side
when they help you through the darkest night
You know you are home
and you're not alone.

Now's the time
to share what you're feeling inside
No matter how long it takes
no matter how many mistakes
Oh, now’s the time
to reach and you will find
that whenever you need me to care
I'll always be there

Whenever you're in trouble,
whenever you may need me
I will fight for you,
I will help you through
Whenever life’s deceiving
I'll give you new meaning
No matter where you are,
you're always in my heart
Whenever you're in trouble I will be right here

I love you bro and sis....

RisibleGirl was blabbing on about her adventures again on 05/21 at 05:07 PM

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