This information was in a handout in one of our support groups. I don't have the name of the author, unfortunately.

These suggestions are good any time of the year, but particularly during the holiday season. Treating yourself with care and affection is important in your journey through grief.

Be gentle with yourself. Don't rush. Be patient - healing takes time. Don't have unrealistic expectations.

Accept your feelings. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise. It's OK to be angry. It's OK to cry or feel depressed. It's even OK to feel a sense of relief about the death. These feelings are a natural part of grief.

Be attentive to your emotional needs. Acknowledge and applaud yourself for making it through each day. Discover the simple things that you can do to nurture yourself.

Be attentive to your physical needs. Be sure that your body is nurtured by getting properly balanced meals, adequate sleep and exercise each day.

Avoid alcohol and drugs. They cannot cure grief. They can prolong, delay and complicate your grief.

Identify your support system. Finding people who are supportive to you can be a comfort. Calling upon them is a step toward caring for you.

Share your grief. Express your feelings to others that can support you. Don't hide your emotions from those who care. Sharing your grief can be a relief.

Give permission to change your routine. Although major life changes should be avoided, giving yourself permission to change the little reminders of your lost relationship can aid you in the grief process. Changing the furniture around in the house, the schedule of when you have meals or go to bed, or the place where you eat or shop can all be small steps toward building a new life.

Identify your trouble spots. Birthdays, anniversaries, special holidays, and even certain times of ordinary days may be difficult to get through. Special places may also be uncomfortable reminders for you. Knowing what times and places create discomfort for you allows you to plan ahead to face them. Giving yourself permission to feel the feelings is easier than trying to pretend the hurt is not there.