Mostly RisibleAdventures of RisibleGirl2010-07-11T18:54:50-08:00ExpressionEngineCopyright (c) 2010, RisibleGirlThe end of the beginning, but not the beginning to an end..tag:mostlyrisible.com,2010:index.php/weblog/index/1.16632010-07-11T18:22:00-08:002010-07-11T18:54:50-08:002010-07-11T18:22:00-08:00RisibleGirlrisiblegirl@gmail.comDaily, Searching for Roots
My grandmother has passed away. I knew it was going to happen sooner, rather than later based on what I saw when I went down for her 97th birthday in February. I knew then that it would be the last time I'd see her.
It's been an amazing five years. I could go down the "I feel cheated" road, but as I stand back and look at things, I know for certain that everything happened exactly as it should have. I'd never trade one life (the one I would have had if I'd grown up knowing my biological father) for the other (the one I had growing up with my dad.) I'm sad I missed out on all of the years knowing my grandmother, but I choose not to focus on that.
Instead, I choose to focus on the miracle that she was still alive and well at 92 years of age, allowing me to get to know her and love her as my grandmother.
I'm still meeting people from my father's family as recently as a month or so ago, and my relationship with my half-sister is growing. We don't talk often, but when we do we never run out of things to talk about. I guess that's what happens when you have 40 some-odd years to catch up on.
I've saved every letter my grandmother has written to me and there is no doubt in my mind that she left this world knowing that I loved her and was grateful that we found each other. I know she loved me too, because she never missed an opportunity to tell me that. How awesome is that?
My belief system tells me that she's together with her husband, my father and my aunt (who died a couple of years ago) and that they're having a wonderful visit. I don't judge those who don't have a belief system in an afterlife, but I'd be kicking and screaming on my death bed if I thought that's all there was. I could be wrong, but I sure hope not.
I fly in to California next week to stay with someone I've never met in person, but I sure like her! She was married to my father's brother long ago and is the mother of a cousin that I plan to get to know a whole lot better. I had to laugh as we were making plans for her to pick me up from the airport. She wrote, "don't get in the car with strangers!" We've never seen each other in real life, met each other via FB just a couple of months ago, and all I know is that she'll be driving a black Altima.
....I like to live on the edge.
I'm still processing all of this and can't really put my finger on how I'm feeling. I'm sure after the funeral I'll be more in touch with my feelings. Right now I feel removed from my emotions. Not necessarily a good thing, but something I've perfected over the years.
Rest in peace, sweet Munner. My life is better for having known you. ]]>CommentsWow, it’s been a while..tag:mostlyrisible.com,2010:index.php/weblog/index/1.16622010-07-09T23:03:00-08:002010-07-09T23:54:14-08:002010-07-09T23:03:00-08:00RisibleGirlrisiblegirl@gmail.comDaily, Family
I'm UP TO HERE with family. Ha ha ha- I'm kidding! We've been fortunate to be able to spend loads of time with family in June and beginning of July. The first part of June, we (the boys, Sweet Girl, Ranger Mike, BJ and I) went to Arizona to visit my parents and brother. We all stayed in a nearby hotel, so as not to overwhelm my parents with our irreverence. We saved all that stuff for the evening in Casey and Ranger Mike's room. We were WILD with the Skip-Bo playing, I tell ya.
Here's most of the family. Unfortunately, not everyone could make the trip and they were missed.
Ranger Mike and I stayed a few more days than the rest of the travelers so we'd have more one-on-one time with our parents and brother. We took our brother to a petrified forest of some sort. It was really fun for me, being on crutches and all...
Next up on the family togetherness train was a weekend on the peninsula with the boys, Sweet Girl, Einstein, BJ, BJ's mom and me. We pretty much did the same thing there that we did after hours in Arizona. Played games, ate, yacked and (some) drank. If you are a FB buddy, you would have seen the expose. :: snicker ::
Did I take pictures? Uhhh... no. Except one of Casey being sad because I beat him at Monopoly. I've been horrible about taking pictures lately. Well, unless you want to see a lot of Einstein.
Last was the 3rd of July celebration at the horse track. My company (you know, the one that has one employee.. me) sponsored a room and a race. Lookee!!
Squee, right?
Casey was really impressed that the family got to go down and watch the Lemonade Stand race from the winners circle. He said that he was sure that everyone at the track wondered if we were rich. Silly boy...
We had a mish-mash of super fun people there. I haven't laughed like that in a while and y'all know how much I love to laugh.
I'm pretty sure this post is really disjointed. My brain is going in a million directions right now, but I really wanted to get this posted for the family before it was completely erased from my memory. So, there we are. ]]>CommentsDear, you probably should have put the phone on hold…tag:mostlyrisible.com,2010:index.php/weblog/index/1.16612010-06-19T17:19:00-08:002010-06-19T17:31:18-08:002010-06-19T17:19:00-08:00RisibleGirlrisiblegirl@gmail.comDaily
Every year, we book a room for the 3rd of July fireworks event at the local horse track. It's a great time because:
A: You're in an air conditioned window room watching horse races in July
B: It's horse races! Fun!
C: After dark is a fabulous fireworks show
D: Most people don't have to work on July 4th, so nobody really cares that they're out late
This year July 3rd falls on a Saturday. Even better! Even better for my friends, my company is paying for everyone. (you know, the one that I own- - tee hee)
So I called a couple of weeks ago to book the event. I was told that I had to wait until June 15th. OK, fine. I called at 9am (when they open) on June 15th and was told that I'd have to wait until today (June 19th).
I called today and the gal said that they're all booked up. I said, "how can that be? You just started taking reservations this morning 1/2 hour ago." Her reply was that the phones have been very busy.
I wasn't going to stop there. I said, "are you SURE you're booked up for "x" room?"
Dummy: "You mean the restaurant?"
Me: No, it's the big room on the 4th floor all the way over to the left. They do a buffet
Dummy: "That's the restaurant, we do a buffet on special days" How big is your group?
Me: 30, and I've never had a problem booking this in the past.
Dummy: OK, let me check with my supervisor.
The dummy didn't put the phone on hold so I heard the entire conversation. Things like, "What do we tell people who were told that they couldn't book until today?" "Tell them that our computers are down and we'll call them back later" More dumb questions and more dumb answers that I heard. der...
So she came back on and said that someone would call me back. I said "I also wanted a race named after my company".
Light bulb goes on in dummy's head: OH- THAT room! You need to talk to group sales. They're not here today. I'll have them call you.
So, tick tock. It's not fun trying to plan an event less than two weeks away not knowing if I'll get the room. I can't really invite people to something I don't have booked, yet I don't want to book a bunch of 'seats' and have them paid for and empty.
Nothing I can do about it but remain calm. Hopefully by mentioning that I wanted to pay for advertising will get me somewhere.
]]>CommentsLight as a feathertag:mostlyrisible.com,2010:index.php/weblog/index/1.16602010-06-17T12:22:01-08:002010-06-17T17:36:57-08:002010-06-17T12:22:01-08:00RisibleGirlrisiblegirl@gmail.comDaily, Dreams/Nightmares, Reflection
When I have this dream, it's a pleasurable experience, but I try to hide it from everyone because I know it's not normal. The problem is, that as much as I try, I can't hide it and the best I can do is to do a floaty-bouncy walk, kind of like the astronauts on the moon.
I had another one of those dreams last night. I was floating away after someone told me that I was "magnificent" (ha! healthy self-esteem, anyone?)
I'd been sitting in a field of wheat reading a book, when a woman came up to me and told me she saw me from afar and asked me if I was from this planet. I told her that I was (and in the dream it seemed like a normal conversation...) and she said that she'd never seen anyone from this planet so magnificent.
Should I really be admitting this dream in public? ha ha!
I had to leave for some reason and then the floaty thing happened. I was glad that I was in a big wheat field because it made it less obvious that I was floating.
I decided to look up "floating" on some dream interpretation sites and it varies. All I know is that I feel REALLY good and light when I'm floating in these dreams, and I have these dreams a few times a month. That's good enough for me.
This interpretation is fairly universal:
To see yourself floating and enjoying this action in a dream generally bears a positive significance and relates to a general balance achieved in one's life. To calmly float in water or through air is a metaphor for acceptance, for wellbeing and peace of mind, for letting go of past problems and conflicts and the release of negative emotions and feelings buried deep down inside you, which have prevented you from achieving a general equilibrium in your life.
]]>CommentsHa! I thought the elliptical heart monitor was broken..tag:mostlyrisible.com,2010:index.php/weblog/index/1.16592010-06-16T02:35:00-08:002010-06-16T02:55:26-08:002010-06-16T02:35:00-08:00RisibleGirlrisiblegirl@gmail.comDaily, Health
I haven't been on the elliptical since my foot injury which happened before I was diagnosed with P.O.T.S. I'd forgotten that I'd assumed that the heart monitor function was broken because the rate would go from 70 to 180 to 40 to 210 to... well you get the idea. Sometimes it's even zero! I'm dead!
Still not sure, but armed with the knowledge that my heart beat is irregular, I asked BJ last night if the heart rate function worked for him. Ummm, yes it does. It goes from lower to higher in regular increments as the workout becomes more strenuous, and then back down again at a regular pace.
Well, well well.... that's what I get for assuming. What a dufus. Next thing you know, I'll be on the next episode of "I didn't know I was pregnant". I really need to investigate things a little more, eh?
I think I might just mention this when I have the follow-up appointment with my cardiologist next Monday. Maybe he'll give me a life-long pass from exercise! ]]>CommentsIt’s amazing what a week will dotag:mostlyrisible.com,2010:index.php/weblog/index/1.16582010-06-14T23:54:00-08:002010-06-15T00:06:25-08:002010-06-14T23:54:00-08:00RisibleGirlrisiblegirl@gmail.comDaily, Health
Last week, I was still limping along with a crutch (graduated from two crutches and/or a wheelchair) and this week, I'm wearing normal shoes, off the pain meds and getting on the elliptical!
I can only do about 10 minutes before my foot starts to hurt, but it's something right? RIGHT!
Since I can now do the elliptical, I'm on a sugar and refined carb detox and I'm lifting weights. Oh, and I'm doing sit ups. Why not just go all out, right? RIGHT!
Did I mention that this surgery enables me to wear fun shoes again? No ol' lady shoes for me. Nope.
Since I'm at it- I think I'm going to do a really fun color combo in my hair tomorrow.
What can I say, I don't do things half way. ]]>CommentsSlowly but surelytag:mostlyrisible.com,2010:index.php/weblog/index/1.16572010-06-08T20:20:00-08:002010-06-08T20:52:37-08:002010-06-08T20:20:00-08:00RisibleGirlrisiblegirl@gmail.comDaily, Family, Head Bonking, Health, Public Transportation
Either I've been too drugged up in the past to understand what the surgeon has been telling me- or he never really told me the full scope of the surgery. He said that he took out a tunnel of bone that goes from one side of my ankle to the other, about an inch wide. Hmmmm... THAT explains the pain. He also told me that I'm having pain up the back of my ankle and lower leg because the tendon is getting too tight from not being able to move my ankle around. He sees physical therapy in my future.
He said that there's nothing I could do to harm my foot (except what happened in the first place, fall and break stuff), so I can so whatever I want as long as I'm willing to put up with the pain. That's comforting in a way, I guess.
I've been driving myself around the last few days and having a blast being on my own. It's been over a month since I've been able to go anywhere by myself. Unfortunately, I tend to overdo it when I get excited about things, so now I'm sitting with my foot up on a pillow with a percocet (without the 'cet since tylenol is not my friend) on board.
Here's the list of things that I've enjoyed about being temporarily disabled:
I got to ride in a wheelchair at the airport and go to the front of security and board the plane first. The wheelchair was fun until my brother Michael started pushing me and tried to scare me. Some things never change.
I got to see what it was like to be under suspicion for carrying a bomb on a plane. Apparently the stuff they use to make the crutch pads is also used to make bombs. I was frisked from head to toe (from a woman- meh!) and all of the contents in my backpack were wiped down with bomb detection stuff. After that, security had to make a decision as to whether they'd want to be on an airplane with me because they STILL couldn't tell if I was bringing on bomb-making materials. I told them to not take the company I keep into consideration (my brother).
People are nice to me when I'm on crutches. In fact, today a man offered to take my shopping cart to the cart return for me. I thanked him profusely
I got to ride in one of those silly carts at Walmart. It's not as fun as it looks, but I do recommend that everyone do it at least once! Do not judge my hair in this picture. I haven't had it cut in 2 months, but I'm willing to forgo the pride to let you see me make a complete fool of myself.
I'm not going to make a list of things I haven't enjoyed, because I fear you'll go blind from all the words.
Next up on my list of things to blog about in no particular order:
Our family visit to see my parents
My new HTC EVO 4G. Holy smokes, it's my new favorite toy. ::ahem:: I mean phone.
Ummm... I've lost my train of thought- but there's something else. Stupid drugs...
PS- Einstein is hosting a 40.00 gift certificate giveaway on his blog. Everyone is eligible to enter. You don't even have to like dogs (but why wouldn't you? tee hee)]]>CommentsI can’t take it anymore!tag:mostlyrisible.com,2010:index.php/weblog/index/1.16562010-05-25T22:14:00-08:002010-05-25T22:39:35-08:002010-05-25T22:14:00-08:00RisibleGirlrisiblegirl@gmail.comDaily
Don't get me wrong- I am so grateful that I have such a wonderful husband, but I'm much too independent for this. I'm a doer, not a taker and this is getting old. Every time I try to 'do', I'm either chastised by BJ or my foot starts yelling at me. That's not to say that I don't keep trying (double negative? What kind of drugs am I taking?)
We're flying the family (Cameron, Casey, Ranger Mike, Kathy, BJ and me) out to visit my parents in a few days and I'm starting to dread the idea of flying in a plane. If my foot isn't propped up, it starts aching. Bone pain ain't fun, as I've shared before. I told my foot surgeon that I'm surprised that this seems to hurt more than when I had all those fractures in my face. He said it's because of gravity, and he's not surprised. OK, that makes sense, but I'm getting really tired of sitting with my foot up. Lessee.... choices:
1. Sit with my foot up
2. Cry (not really, but I feel like it!)
BJ wants to get a wheelchair for the airport, but I dunno.... knowing me, I'll refuse and will hobble along on my crutches.
I'm also getting cabin fever and feel bad about not being able to take Einstein to the dog park. I feel like a complete slug and can feel my hips getting wider as I write this. ::sob:: I'm afraid for my jeans and the stress I'll be putting on the seams. Hopefully they fit- shoot, that would be terrible to find out the day I'm supposed to fly out.
In happier news, I'm really excited that we're all going to see my parents and brother. The 'kids' haven't seen my parents in something like four or five years and they're in for a big surprise. My dad is no longer wearing glasses (cataract surgery), which he's worn since his early 20's; and has shaved his mustache (something he's had since before the boys were born.) I'm tempted to bring a pair of Groucho Marx glasses just to ease us into this new look.
I'm beyond sad that everyone won't be there, but am hoping that one day we can make that happen.
I finished an e-learning course for one of my more well known clients today and then it will be translated to French. I was supposed to bill part of it at this juncture and the rest when the French version is done, but the client asked me to bill for the entire thing today so it'll go into her May budget. Gee, twist my arm.
I guess that's my way of saying, I'm not really sitting here doing nothing. I was back at work the same week I had the surgery being a money making machine. Good thing nobody wanted a drug test! ]]>CommentsIt wasn’t Lee Harvey Oswald. It was the MAIDS!tag:mostlyrisible.com,2010:index.php/weblog/index/1.16552010-05-12T01:38:00-08:002010-05-12T02:07:12-08:002010-05-12T01:38:00-08:00RisibleGirlrisiblegirl@gmail.comDaily
Anyhoo- yesterday was cleaning service day, so BJ took Einstein to puppy day camp and I holed up in the guest bedroom with a sign on the door requesting that they not enter.
They left at about noonish, and I was hungry so decided to make myself something to eat. I was particularly looking forward to a beautifully ripened tomato with some freshly ground sea salt and freshly ground course pepper. I walked over to the kitchen counter where I'd left the tomato and noticed immediately that it was MISSING. What the WHAT? What the heck did they do with my tomato? I looked everywhere for it because those darned maids have been known to put things in weird places. I even looked in the bread box! No tomato to be found. I could only surmise that they helped themselves to my precious tomato.
Break my faucet? We're cool. Re-fold my towels the way I don't like them? Meh, not happy about it- but it only takes me a moment to fix. But STEAL MY LAST TOMATO? This is war!
I eventually got over it and made myself some home-made caramel corn. Good trade, dontcha think?
This is not the end to this story, but I'll get back to it in a minute.
BJ took me to the foot surgeon this morning to have the dressings changed and get a refill on the pain meds (a big shout out to whomever created pain meds, by the way!). The foot is healing nicely, and I'll probably get my stitches out next week. I'm on crutches for a while longer, must keep it dry at all times (sure makes showering fun), and need to keep it elevated and iced as much as possible. The incision was much longer than I'd imagined, so I guess my foot modeling career is going to be on hold.
The surgeon explained that the bone formation was really strange, explaining why he had to chisel so much bone out of my foot and why the surgery was more complex than he thought it would be.
He again assured me that this surgery, without a doubt, is going to take care of the issue and I should have no more pain as soon as things heal.
On the way home from the foot surgeon BJ said, "I owe you a tomato".
He shared with me that he meant to get an apple and wasn't looking closely, so instead packed my precious tomato in his lunch bag.
Is this the part where I share with him that I looked in the oven for my tomato? Nah- I kept that part to myself and simply thanked him for bringing my precious tomato home unharmed. ]]>CommentsI give it a 10tag:mostlyrisible.com,2010:index.php/weblog/index/1.16542010-05-08T22:20:00-08:002010-05-08T22:54:13-08:002010-05-08T22:20:00-08:00RisibleGirlrisiblegirl@gmail.comDaily, Health
The foot surgeon said that the surgery was more intense than he thought it would be. For example, he wasn't expecting to chisel and remove bone. My friend Erika wrote on my Facebook status that chisel and bone should not be used in the same sentence. She's on to something...
BJ has been taking Einstein to doggy day camp while he works, which has been great. I typically interact with Einstein all day, and that's not something I'm capable of doing right now. Going to day camp gives him something fun to do all day AND he comes home pooped out from all that playing.
I knew it would be frustrating to not be able to care for myself. I have to use crutches to get around and it's nearly impossible to use crutches and carry anything around. I try to multi-task when I need to get up to to to the bathroom or something, so I don't have to get up too much. I'm supposed to keep my foot elevated 24/7 and it's immediately evident why that's necessary when I get up to do something. The pain level shoots from a 6 or 7 to a 10 immediately.
Being waited on probably sounds pretty dreamy to most people, but it's HORRIBLE for me. I hate it. BJ's been very sweet about the whole thing, bless his heart. I'm just not someone who likes that sort of thing. I make a horrible patient.
My follow-up with the surgeon is Tuesday morning, with another one in one week after that. I'm guessing the second follow-up is when the stitches come out.
I'm rambling and so I'll stop here. I just wanted to check in so y'all know I'm alive and (not) kicking. ]]>Comments
He also told me that I'm having pain up the back of my ankle and lower leg because the tendon is getting too tight from not being able to move my ankle around. He sees physical therapy in my future. 
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