Being defeated is often only a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
~Marilyn vos Savant

I haven't written in a while, I know. I think it's because I haven't slowed down enough to even think, let alone write.

I chose this quote because it's a true reflection of my core personality. I've felt defeated many times, but I never EVER give up. Sometimes I think of myself as one of those kids bop bags because I can get punched down, but I always pop back up, though sometimes it takes a while.

I was bopped a good one on Thursday at the cardiologist's office. He had to take me off of the drug that has 100% stopped the fainting and near-fainting episodes because my blood pressure was so high that I was in danger of a stroke.

A week prior I was in the ER, because I was having stroke symptoms (left side of my face droopy, slurring my words, confused, etc.) and my blood pressure was soaring. I was diagnosed with a transient ischemic attack. Thankfully, the symptoms subsided after about five hours and they sent me home.

The next day, the cardiologist's office called me and set up an appointment with my cardiologist. They told me to cut the medication in half and told me to take my BP twice a day until my appointment.

Normally, my BP is 100-110/60-70. My BP remained over 145/80 (sometimes clear up to just under 160) and I had a horrible headache for a week. But I didn't faint!

The cardiologist said that there was nothing else they could give me for the fainting that wouldn't do the same thing to my blood pressure, and took me completely off the medication. He said he didn't want to be the one responsible for giving me a stroke or heart attack. I guess I don't blame him.

The first day off the drugs, I started to pass out twice. I wanted to cry, I really did. OK- truthfully, I did have a bit of a pity party this morning, but I'm mostly over it.

He gave me a prescription for compression tights (from toes to waist as soon as I'm out of bed) and wants me to keep drinking electrolytes, eating lots of salt and drinking lots of caffeine.

Oh, and raise the head of my bed. He told me to do that the last time I was there and I haven't done that yet. He scolded me like a child, "Lori, you KNOW we talked about this last time you were here". I felt really stupid.

The cardiologist told me that I'm one of those people that "lightening hits more than once, apparently". I've thought the same thing myself, but I refuse to roll over and play dead.

...I may lie down and take a nap though.