(in my best Scarlett O'Hara voice) ....As God is my witness, I shall never get lost again.....

Anyone who has had the opportunity to drive around with me knows that I claim the award for having the worst sense of direction on the planet. Seriously. Argue all you want, I'll win.

I was first made aware of my disability when I was in driver's education in high school. My driver's ed teacher used to get a kick out of having me drive a few blocks, make a couple of turns then tell me to find my way back to the school. Yeah, he was fun like that. Nine out of ten times, I couldn't find my way back.

All of my family and friends know better than to ask me if they should go "right or left" when they're unsure of where they're at. Sometimes they forget, and after asking me they chuckle and say, "oh yeah- I forgot who I'm asking". Nice.

People have given me compasses for gifts. I have a compass in my car, but it does me no good. N-S-E-W is meaningless to me.

A couple of months ago, hubby and I were at a party at a house located about 15 minutes from our house. I wasn't feeling well, so I left early and told hubby to call me when he was ready to come home. BJ knows how I am, so gave me what he thought were very good directions on how to get home. I got lost immediately. I am NOT lying when I tell you that it took me 2.5 hours to find my way home. I was seriously driving among farms and farm animals and finally figured out that if I followed a volcanic evacuation route sign, surely that would get me to a main road. Eventually it did. Eventually.

Well, I might as well go on with my sad story since I've sucked you in this far... It was also raining hard that night. When I finally got to the house 2.5 hours later, I discovered that I didn't have any house keys. So, there I was not feeling well, in the dark, in the rain, and crying because I couldn't get in the house. The windows are up really high, so I had to get a ladder from the garage and climb up about 5 feet to check all the windows to find one that wasn't locked. Thankfully, there was an unlocked window and I was able to climb in it.

Yeah, that night really sucked.

Really, I'm an intelligent person. The part of my brain that recognizes directions just doesn't fire on all cylinders for some reason. BJ is quite used to hearing these words, "honey, I'm lost".

So, today hubby got me this.

I guess this means that he's not planning on getting rid of me any time soon, because now I'll always be able to find my way home.