My third child/husband's (boy) best friend is here. They're playing x-box golf. I'm on the computer reading blogs and such. Suddenly I find myself in a mushy mood. "Go home husband's best boy friend", is what I'm thinking! ha ha.

Anyway, I had a 2.5 hour commute to work yesterday. I decided that I was getting a bit too stressed out over being late, so popped in a CD that I haven't listened to since the early dating time with my husband and me. The time before I knew that *this* was real and was really going to happen. Wow. It made me smile the rest of the way to work. It was Bryan Adams. I think I played that CD every time I went to his house when we were dating. I was totally into the Bryan Adams compilation CD I'd made at the time. The lyrics just spoke to me.

So, as I fought that 2.5 hour commute, I remembered how much I internalized some of the lyrics in the songs in those early days.

1. I'm ready To me, that symbolized how I really was ready to give up the "I'm never going to love anyone ever again" stage in my live
2. I will always return The lyrics are so about long distance relationships (at least to me!). Beautiful music and lyrics.
3. Nothing I've ever known Pretty much sums it up.

I dunno... I really thought I was done with love and all that stuff. Even when I felt things for my husband in the beginning, I fought it. I didn't want to get hurt; I've had a lifetime of that. He fought it too. He's not had the greatest of experiences either. Boy, did he fight it and was very honest with me about it. The thing is, I took him at face value. Was I surprised when he proposed. I honestly didn't expect it to happen. I certainly NEVER pushed it.

Yet, here we are. We've been living together for 13 months, married for 5 of of those months. I still get giddy about seeing him. I get butterflies when I hear his car pull up in the gravel driveway. We still have those "I can't believe that this is STILL this wonderful" conversations with each other frequently. I'm not kidding when I say we tell each other this at least weekly. At least twice a month we sit on the couch for a couple of hours and tell each other how much this relationship means to us. Who knew? I sure didn't. When I'd see couples who seemed to adore each other, I thought it was fake. Now I know better. We just click. It's SO easy. I wish I'd known how easy it could be and had the strength to give up on those awful relationships I'd had in the past. I'd of saved myself a heck of a lot of heartache. But then again, I have to think that I wouldn't fully appreciate what I have now. Catch 22 I guess.

So, a 2.5 hour commute turned into something really wonderful. I was able to go back in time and look at myself back then and smile at all the worries I had about getting too close. I was able to look at the actions that my future husband showed me (vs- the words that said he would never get to this place), and nod my head. I was able to tell that scared person I was, "ya know, it'll be ok- everything is really going to work out. You just wait and see..." I'm smiling now thinking about that . Too bad we can't all have a crystal ball, huh?

That same night, I had a night class for Hospice. I got home at 9pm. He heard me drive up the gravel driveway and greeted me at the door. He held me for a while and then kissed me and told me to go get comfy. So I did. I came out to find a plate of dinner that he made for me sitting on the table. It almost broke my heart to tell him that I already ate. He just took my plate, put it all away and cleaned up the kitchen. What a sweet man, huh?

I just kissed and held him when I saw that. Especially after the experience I'd had that morning. I told him over and over again how lucky and blessed I felt that we were together. That lead to another one of those hours long talks about us. He loves to gush too. How cool is that? Sigh....

So, this is what it's like. I had no idea that *this* really existed. I'm starting to settle into the fact that I can expect this to be wonderful for many years to come. I sure must have done something right to be this lucky, ya know?

Yep, I'm madly in love with my husband. How wonderful is that?