Doesn't that sound horrible? It's not what it seems.

Not too long after I wrote the last post about needing a good solid cry, I was walking around the kitchen with Einstein under foot. I was wearing my 'puppy proof' slippers so didn't notice that he was lying on my foot when I started to take a step. I ended up kicking him across the floor and into the fridge. Hardwood floors make for a good swift slide, dontchaknow.

He cried and ran off immediately. I got down on the floor and called him to me and he had the most frightened look on his face than I've ever seen on him. He wouldn't come to me and it was obvious that it was because he was afraid of me.

That did it. I broke down and cried. He came right to me and let me hold him while I had a good solid weep. He stayed with me, kissing me and nuzzling me for about an hour and finally fell asleep on my lap after I'd cried it out. He didn't try to nip me even once (so, that's the trick? cry? ha ha).

I never want to see that look in his eyes again. I've quit wearing my slippers in the house and am trying to remember to look down when I'm walking around. I'm not used to that. My mom always taught me to keep my head straight when walking (we even did the book on the head thing a few times, right Mom?). I believe it promotes a look of self confidence, but that's not necessary around the house.

I'm still in a pretty big funk. Frankly, I'd like to stay in my sweats and sit in the dark with a sleeping puppy, but I know that's not good for me. BJ is probably wondering who this person is that has replaced his wife.

BJ, I'd like you to meet depressed Lori. Hopefully, she won't be a guest around here for very long. In the meantime, do your best to ignore her because there is nothing you can say or do that change how she feels. She's afraid, feels unwanted and worst of all, unmotivated.

Unmotivated. That's the word of the month. That, and bleh.

I need to go out and get some more puppy treats. We have training sessions three times a day for about 10 minutes each. He now "leaves it" without whining, and he's learned to shake (sorta- he just picks up his paw and waits for me to grab it-so cute!!!). But getting puppy treats means that I'll need to get Einstein off my lap so I can go get ready. Maybe I'll wait a while. I enjoy the puppy cuddling.

Einstein's a keeper, even if he IS a lot of work right now. We've had him four weeks and I truly cannot imagine our lives without him. Don't ask BJ about that right now though, because Einstein had an accident in BJ's office this morning (first accident in over a week). Oops.