I've changed and I hardly recognize the person I used to be. I've quit writing, mostly because I feel so easily exposed which makes me claustrophobic. When I do write, it's 'safe'.

I thought I'd try an experiment of shutting down my comments so I can pretend that nobody is reading my blog. Maybe that'll bring back the honest writing.

I'm in a deep funk. Weather related? Maybe. Hormones? Perhaps. Grief? Most likely.

Maybe a combination of all three.

I've given up Hospice for good. I don't have anything left to give. I feel empty. How can I possibly support someone else when my well is dry?

I think the brain damage from the original head injury might be part of this. If I look through my blog, my thought processes and writing changed a lot after that. I've certainly lost my ability to be patient, especially with people. I'm easily smothered, even more so than before. I'm not as forgiving of people as I used to be.

Damn, I sound like a crotchety old woman. Thankfully for The Hubs, I'm not outwardly crotchety- or so he says.

I really want to be the person I used to be, and I don't know if that's possible. That kills me.