The UGLY cry
It happened. Tonight as soon as I walked in my house.

I'm fully prepared (I think) to hear on Monday, "Lori- this is your 60 day notice". Unfortunately, that coincides with the day I have the biopsy. My whole team has to wait until I'm done with the biopsy and am home so we can all hear our outcomes in person. I think. Maybe we'll be hearing one at a time.

I don't know. All I know is that management wanted to know when I'd be home so I (or we?) could get the news.

I also don't know the outcome of BJ's job. We may or may not find out on the 5th of December.

I also don't know how the biopsy will turn out. I hope I'll find out by the 5th of December.

All I know is that I'm feeling a little crazy right now. There are so many what if's going on in my head. What if the biopsy turns out bad and we BOTH lose our job and insurance coverage?

Thankfully, I have Cobra- but it's gonna cost us almost 1k a month.

I think that tomorrow I'll contact my doctor to see about getting some Valium (or something like it). The panic attacks are coming on more frequently and I'm starting to feel unable to deal with all of THIS.

I've applied for three jobs today, even though I don't know when I'll be out of a job- just so I feel like I'm doing SOMETHING.

Monday. I can't wait for Monday. At least ONE thing will be off my list of "what if's". Only two more to go. Two big ones.

I can't wait until I find out what the lesson is in this. Damn, I'd better learn it because I do NOT want to go through this again.

Ever.

RisibleGirl was blabbing on about another adventure on 11/25 at 07:29 PM

Go visit Einstein's blog!

  

Avatar for Annie
Annie wrote:

((((((((((((((((Lori))))))))))))))
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Please get that valium, or xanax, or something to help you through this.
BIG warm , comforting hugs
Annie


  

Avatar for PrincessFifi
PrincessFifi wrote:

Hey there -- I've been "gone" for awhile, but have resurfaced. I'll be thinking about'cha on Monday. It'll be all right, job-wise. How can it not - YOU. And BJ. If you have to downsize, you'll be fine. I can totally see you making frugal living into a fine art (and fascinating blog material). Lori and BJ's Cozy Cottage instead of L&B's Big House. It works. You can stage your comeback from there.

I know it looks bad now. And it IS bad. Just like the good times, bad times don't last either. It's a finite situation that will change.

Meanwhile, you've got an awesome husband, lots of friends, and loving family. Do not underestimate how big a deal that is. Not everyone has that emotional support network, and it is worth more than money.

Love and hugs!


  

Wickedly Scarlett wrote:

Lori, I'm so sorry I've been so absent lately--I just read through all of your blogs from the past week or so and I just feel sick about all that you are having to go through right now. I'm glad that you're being so proactive about the job situation, but I really hope that they understand how lucky they are to have you and find a way to keep you on. I think a little Valium would go a looooong way to keeping you sane, and know that even when I get terrible about blog checking, I'm thinking of you often. Please update us as soon as you can, I'll be keeping you in my prayers.


  

maloneokie wrote:

I will be double kneed praying for you on Monday. This sucks and you have a right to a pity party. I use the xanax when I have a lot of back to back panic attacks. It puts my mind to rest and allows me to reset my body. Keep us posted.


  

wordnerd wrote:

Aarrrgh! Lori! This is the suck, huh? Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. You two have so much going on -- wish there was something this southern girl "way down here" could do to help. Since there's not, just know that I'm sending hugs fast and furious.

Love ya!


  

sarah wrote:

Clearly you need George more than me, so you can have him on a special Thanksgiving loan.

Don't wear him out.


  

Avatar for Anonymous G
Anonymous G wrote:

I suppose today is the day to recognize your blessings. You have so many. You've got a big loving family that includes your best-friend-sister, your wonderful hubby BJ, your sons and their families...you have your good, good friends nearby and you have us out here around the country and across the pond who love you dearly.

You have more on your plate than anyone should have to deal with. I know about that overloaded plate. I've been there. I'm here to tell you, it's temporary! Things will be better soon. Just take it all a minute or two at a time...that really helps!

I have so much more to say. It's in an email in my head. (can you read it? telepathically?)

Great big hugs to you.
((((((((Lori))))))))

You're in my thoughts always.

xoxoxoxo


  

Annie wrote:

Sweet Lori,
I have been out of town all week. Just know you are in my prayers. I have NO advice, just know I love you and am hoping for the BEST for you.
God Bless, Sweet Friend.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs to you and BJ}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
~


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