My evil friend Stew requested a report of my follow-up call with Verizon, so here goes...

I decided that rather than call Customer Service, I'd call the rep who handles Verizon's accounts for my company. It's a big company, so I thought that might get me a bit of clout.

First of all, the rep's phone number on my company website was disconnected.

Not a good start.

There was an 800 number on the site, so I called it.

Verizon: Verizon corporate solutions (or some such department... sorry I wasn't taking notes), how can I help you?
Me: I work for [company name] and am having an issue with your customer service department.
Verizon: Oh, I'm sorry- what is the problem?
Me: Well, I specifically asked before signing up with Verizon if there was cell coverage at my new house. I was told yes, and so I signed up. [blah blah blah, the rest of the story, blah blah blah]. I do not understand why I should have to pay for a cellphone bill when I cannot use the cell phone. Especially since I did the responsible thing and asked first.
Verizon: Oh, yeah, that doesn't sound right. I do know there is a new policy [blah blah blah], but I'll call customer service and get this straightened out. Can you hold?
Me: Yep

In the meantime, my children's children have grandchildren.....

OK, really, about 15 minutes later:

Verizon: I've talked to customer service and they need to talk to their manager. Can you hold?
Me: Yep

More children are had by my great-grandchildren....

Verizon: RisibleGirl?
Me: zzzzzzz oh, uh, yeah
Verizon: I have customer service on the phone and they'll take care of you. Thanks and have a great day [sucker.]

Customer Service: Hello RisibleGirl, I want you to know that I've gone the "extra mile" for you.
Me: That's great! What are you going to do?
Customer Service: We'll disconnect at the end of the billing cycle and see about giving you a refund after the billing cycle ends
Me: Ummmm, that's not going to work. I want to sell my phone NOW so I can recoup my losses. This is 400.00 I'm talking about

OK, I exaggerated a bit- I got a great discount on it and it only cost me about 300.00

Customer Service: Well, we can take back your phone, and refund your money if you'd like. It's only been just over a month.
Me: That's not convenient for me. I want to sell it on e-bay (by the way, it was sold this evening for 470.00!)
Customer Service: OK, I can shut off your phone and then give you a credit after the billing cycle.

Since several decades had passed, I decided to just cut my losses for the day and deal with it when I get the final bill.

Holy cow.

I'm now on hold with my new carrier (for about 20 minutes how) because my new cell phone is frozen and won't boot up.

Maybe I'll forget about cell phones all together.

Nah... they're a gadget and I Must.Have.My.Gadgets. no matter the hassle.

The end.

Stew? Do I get an A?

(I didn't think so)