Sister Day was really nice and a wonderful diversion for me, but we didn't get into ANY trouble. It was all very subdued. Many apologies for those that were waiting for the stories of sisters that are old enough to know better, but still do it (whatever *it* is) anyway.

I am in a serious funk. S.E.R.I.O.U.S. FUNK. I'm irritable, feel weepy, and am having trouble sleeping even though I feel exhausted. I'm sure it'll all pass soon, and it only has to do with the fact that I have things going on both in my personal life and at work. I just need things to be good/settled in one area, then I can handle everything just fine in the other area. I think it's making matters worse that I'm holding it all inside because I don't want to dump it on my husband right now. OK, I never do, but that's beside the point. He has enough to deal with and doesn't need a weepy, irritable wife on top of everything he's dealing with. So, I pretend as best as I can. That's tiring, but I wouldn't feel right about doing it any other way.

I think I need a really good cry right now. I haven't given myself permission to REALLY cry during this whole thing with my father-in-law because I have taught myself some great skills for holding it all in. Good or bad, it's something I do well and it's a skill that has come in handy over the years. Right now, I'm in robot mode. The Hubs had a get together with his friends on Friday night to toast his dad. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Except mine.

But I see things seeping out in inappropriate ways. If someone cuts me off or is too slow in traffic I over react. I get really annoyed if someone has their shopping cart in the middle of the aisle so I have to move it to get past them. Normally, I'm an easy going person and let things roll right off. Not lately. I feel like a bomb ready to go off.

Don't worry co-workers that are reading this... there are no bell towers anywhere nearby. I'm really not going to blow. It's just an expression.

Maybe once I get the work thing straightened out, I'll be much better. Even though I'm not necessarily worried about losing my job, it's stressful to be left hanging in the wind like I have been the last two weeks. I am fairly certain that everything will be settled this week. I hope that will get me out of this funk.

In additon to this, I'm feeling a whole lot of guilt. My oldest son is thinking about joining the military. He needs structure and believes that this will provide it. While I agree that the military would provide the structure he needs, I worry. This is not a good time to join the military. I also feel extremely guilty about the fact that my providing TOO MUCH structure, and too much of a safety net over the years has probably lead to this inability to be a successful independent young adult.

So, there's that too. It all piles up. One.On.Top.Of.The.Other.

Like I said a few days ago... I just want to pull the blankets over my head and make this month dissapear. Really. Will someone make that happen please?

March will be better, right?