Verbatim, mind you...grammar, punctuation and angst all left in for your entertainment. I was always good at spelling, so there.

05-05-1976
I'm kind of anxious to go to school tomorrow because of Billy. I really like him and he's really nice and goes out of his way to talk to me. Friday he asked me for my phone number. He said it was because he needed to know about pizza orders. I hope he wanted it for more than THAT. Earlier that day, his friend was sitting at the same table as me and Kathy. I was going on and on about my love life and how I was looking at one prospect at the moment. I don't remember what exactly I said, but I hope David didn't get any clue as to who it was. That would ruin EVERYTHING.

It seems like I am always liking one guy or another. Every one says that I will marry young. I hope so. I don't want to be an old maid. I also want children really bad. I just love babies. I want two children. A boy and then a girl. Of course, I won't be too disappointed if it doesn't work out that way. I wonder what I'll be like in 20 years. I'll be 36. Wow that will be 1996.

I wonder if the millennium will happen by then. I hope I don't have children until after all the suffering and pain is over. I wouldn't want to see anyone that I brought into the world go through that.

::older and wiser RisibleGirl here::
Sorry Casey. I really didn't mean that I wanted YOU to be a girl. I love you just the way you are, even though yes- I did put a bonnet on you when you were a baby just to see what a little girl of mine would look like.

Note how quickly I go from crushing on Billy to the next entry where I've broken up from a relationship that hadn't yet started in the last entry. Strangely I don't have anything about the relationship in my scrapbook- must've trashed everything in a fit of anger.

Probably just as well, this stuff is scary enough.

08-07-76
Terry still wants to be broken up and I'm beginning to think he's a turkey. He's going out with new girls who not very attractive and don't have good values. I'm not saying that I'm better than anybody but I don't understand. That is a real blow to the ego. Maybe he doesn't like me anymore because I didn't let him go too far. I let him kiss me and THAT'S as far as it went.

Maybe God didn't want this to happen because he wants me to be with LaMar. I just don't know. I don't think LaMar even knows that I like him. Everyone else knows. I've never so much as danced with him, although I have sat next to him in his car and he even talked to me.

I wonder if it is really possible to love someone who doesn't love you back or even say hello to you. I've known him for five years, so I guess it's possible. Maybe I'll go to the pool when he's on lifeguard duty and drown so he'll have to give me artificial respiration. How FUN!

::older and wiser RisibleGirl here::

Note how quickly I go from the angst about broken up relationship to being in love with other boy. Wow- drown so he'll have to give me artificial respiration? FUN? Yikes.

I went to my yearbook and looked up LaMar's picture. Sheesh, he was not all THAT dreamy. In fact, he was rather dorky looking, and I busted out laughing over all the angst (total of 7 years of crushing, from the time I was 12 until I gave up the ghost at 19, whilst supposedly listening to the speakers at church) over that boy.

Man, this stuff is HI-Larious!