OK, so I lied when I said that was my last post. Perhaps I'm being 'fed' these quotes for a reason?

This quote came across my RSS feeds today:

There are people who always seem to look for conflicts. If you meet them, walk away. The battle they are fighting isn't with you, it is within themselves.

I tried to find the author of this quote, but couldn't. Instead, I found this article which I think was a good read: Dealing with Difficult People

I especially liked the lead in:

Can you recall the last time you had to deal with a negative or difficult person? Or the last time someone said something with the intention of hurting you? How did you handle it? What was the result? What can you do in the future to get through these situations with peace and grace?

I'm learning that this is a great opportunity to practice my "just walk away from it" skills in my new toolbox. Conflict addicts will find a way to be angry whether you ignore or engage. There's really not a whole lot I can do to change someone else's behavior or feelings. My part is to apologize if I've done something wrong. If that's not good enough, then it's time to disengage. Set phasers to IGNORE. (ha- that there was a Star Trek reference if you aren't aware... )

It's really that simple. Who knew?

I particularly loved this quote from the article:

Remember that you have the choice to commit to being surrounded by people who have the qualities you admire: optimistic, positive, peaceful and encouraging people. As Kathy Sierra said, “Be around the change you want to see in the world.”

That right there, wraps up exactly why I feel anxiety when I'm around negative/dishonest people. I felt like it was my responsibility to be nice and let people do what they wanted- even if it was not in my best interest. Even when it felt that they were abusive. My soul knew better. This is my final frontier (ha! another Star Trek reference) in therapy.

Once I decided that I don't have to spend time with conflict addicts, life got a whole lot easier. I still have some work to do in that area, which includes setting phasers to IGNORE on boundary crossers, but the more I practice, the easier it becomes.

My therapist told me I’m like a beacon to conflict addicts and boundary crossers, simply because of who I am. This is why perfect strangers want to tell me their life story within seconds of meeting them. This is why it takes me so long to get errands done- I'm constantly stopped by strangers who want me to listen to them. Mostly they're just well-meaning people who just see a friendly face. Until I learn to dim my light (create a force-field is what my therapist calls it) around these people, I will continually attract them.

.... but I don't have to engage. It's not my job.

This self-care stuff is showing me the beauty of peace, and that it's up to me to ensure my OWN peaceful existence.

Mantra for the day: Chase the peace.