I'm not sure I've mentioned it, but my deadline for the annual training I'm creating is next Tuesday. This REQUIRED training will roll out to 50,000 some people, so it's a pretty big deal.

I've known about this and have been piddling around with it since September. I've continually put it on the back burner for other projects that "have to be done yesterday". Two weeks ago, I drew the line in the sand and said that people had to leave me alone so I can get this training out.

It's been SO nice to not have to do other people's jobs. I'd forgotten what it was like to just do my own thing and not worry about someone else's deadlines.

People have tried now and again to pull me into something, but I've held firm. Probably because my arse would be grass if I didn't get this rolled out in time.

I have another big deliverable and think I might do the same thing. Maybe I'll give everyone a week to use me and abuse me, and then draw another line in the sand.

Oh, the power I have! ....in my dreams.

I'm thinking about talking to my manager about the parts of my job that I'm uncomfortable with and didn't sign up for. I'm not a marketing guru and I certainly don't know enough about this particular line of business to write award winning articles. That wasn't part of the job that I applied for and every time I think about it, I become panicked.

On the other hand, now that I feel back to 100% brain power, maybe I can take on this new stuff. I've always said that the things that scare me the most are the things I'm most proud of in the end.

On the other hand (oh- that makes three hands, doesn't it? )

On the other foot... what if I revert back to 'dumb' Lori? That fear is always going to be in the back of my head. Especially since I made the mistake of going through some old posts. I'd forgotten how often in the past I was SURE this time I was 'healed' for good. There's no way I could handle that new stuff if I didn't have a full tank.

Mantra for the day lifetime:
Live in the present.

Speaking of which... remember those life rules I refer to every now and then? I've mentioned a time or two that I keep them right in front of my face at my desk. This one popped out at me the other day and I just had to go hmmmmmnnnnn....

Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don't get angry about things - bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us - use it when you need to do what's right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.

It's amazing to me how various rules in this list really pop out to me at certain times. Cherie Carter-Scott is so wise. I may have to write to her one day and tell her how much these rules have meant to me since I've found them.