There are many people in my life that won't believe what I'm about to write here. Ready? You may want to sit down (oh- you probably are- most people don't stand up whilst computing)

I've invited my ex-husband (the boy's dad) and his wife over for our Christmas Eve celebration.

::waits for those that have fainted to revive themselves::

I'm only writing the next part to give you an idea of how big of a deal this is (and is NOT intended as a victim or martyr statement). When I say that I have a time in my life that I compare the bad stuff to, in order to tell myself that if I went through that and survived, then I can survive "this"? My ex-husband was a very large player in that scenario. It truly was the scariest and most heart-wrenching, soul-crushing time that I've ever lived through.

Prior to Son#2 and Jessica's wedding, I'd had maybe two times where I spent more than 5 minutes with him from the time we divorced in 1990 or so. I'd forgiven him for what happened long ago, but even today there are memories that still make me feel like I was punched in the stomach when I think about them (fortunately it's not often that I even go 'there'.) I'm a firm believer in forgiving but not forgetting- otherwise, that lesson is going to come back to bite you in the tush.

Anywhoo... I spent quite a bit of time with the x and his wife at the wedding and actually enjoyed them. I think he and I have both changed quite a bit. It's still VERY obvious that we were not meant to be together (almost laughable at times because it's SO obvious), but they are really nice people and great conversationalists. That's when I started thinking about combining our family activities. The Hubs's divorced parents did that, and The Hubs really appreciated it.

I know it's getting more complicated to have family gatherings now that we have girls to go with the boys (yay!), so I thought this would be a great way to make it just a little easier. I suggested we try to do this for holidays and birthdays if possible and that I don't mind having it at my place all the time, but it doesn't have to be.

I'm actually kind of excited about this. It's really kind of nice to put the lid on that box of yucky stuff and move forward, ya know?

Next? I plan to skydive.

[edited to add, YES, they're coming and I'm actually excited about it!]