My manager and I were having one of our 'eh, let's just shoot the breeze' conversations the other day. We got around to talking about how most people wouldn't ever define us as introverts because neither of us would ever be called shy.

That's probably the biggest misunderstanding of introverts because most people think that if you are an introvert, you're shy and bookish.

I have NO PROBLEM speaking in front of huge crowds and I'm not shy by any stretch of the imagination. If I see you alone in a room, I'll probably be the first one to walk over to you and start up a conversation.

Well, unless you look like a serial killer or something... in that case you can count me out.

Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people. Unfortunately, I think that this is very hard for extroverts to understand. Most of the time, extroverts take this personally, because extroverts are just the opposite- their energy comes from being around other people. I'd even go so far to say that an extrovert would wilt on the vine if left alone for too long- whereas an introvert would be thinking, "I want more of this alone stuff..."

In an extrovert's mind, the introvert seems to be rejecting them personally if they do not want to spend a lot of time together or need to get away. It becomes a balancing act for the introvert to keep from hurting someone's feelings without draining their batteries completely.

I talked to the bearded eye-roller about this the other night and told him that I felt that he was an introvert. He looked at me with surprise because he is one of the many that had the misconception about introverts. I reminded him that one of the frequent statements I hear from him is, "I can't be charming any more today"; meaning he needs to be alone for a while.

I think this is why we work so well as a couple. We're both very outgoing introverts (seems like a conflicting statement, doesn't it?). We are very social- but only to a certain extent. When our 'charming' has left the building, we really DO need to be alone- although I do a better job of hiding it than BER .

This is why we specifically looked for a house where we wouldn't see our neighbors when we get home. Nine times out of ten, our charming quotient has been used up by the end of a work day and the idea of socializing with the neighbor is enough to make us run away screaming.

I was thinking about this today, as BER and I are doing our normal weekend ritual. We typically spend our mornings doing our own thing (he'll play war games or watch movies, I'll surf the net or work in the garden), and sometime later in the day- often not until evening, we either go out or just hang together in the house.

It's just perfect for us. Jean-Paul Sartre says it best, "Hell is other people at breakfast".