I haven't posted much about Hospice in my blog, but I think that will change soon. Prior to moving in with hubby, I was a patient volunteer. When I was doing home visits, it was my job to be with the patient while their caregiver went out and ran errands, visited friends, etc. I found that my most rewarding times were when the caregiver would just sit and talk with me and let me give them a shoulder or an ear. My patients were asleep 90% of the time, so I didn't have a whole lot of interaction with them besides physical care. I did have a lot of interaction with the families though.

I started in-patient care after having a couple of bad experiences (believe it or not, bad experiences didn't include someone dying in my presence). One was an 80 year old husband who was eager to, shall we say, replace his wife. I should have known something was up, when the social worker told me I was the second volunteer with this family, and then asked me to tell her if the husband ever became 'inappropriate'. The other was a patient who lit her oxygen tube on fire thinking it was a cigarette. Of course, it blew up in her face. I wasn't there at the time, but it scared me to think that this sort of thing might happen when I was alone with the patient. So, I went to in-patient care.

I had some wonderful experiences there and met some wonderful people. Generally, the patients were there because their family had to be somewhere for a few days. The patients I met there were actually more alert, so I was able to talk to them. Generally there were about four patients in the center at one times, so I was able to visit more than one patient in a day. One of my favorite things to do is to listen to people's stories. Especially the older generation. I'm fascinated by their experiences and the attitudes and thoughts of people decades older than me. I found it most difficult to talk to those that were my age, or possibly younger. It made me feel guilty that I'm not more careful with my body (diet and exercise... ). It also made me realize how fragile life is and reminded me that I'm not immortal.

People have asked me how I keep from crying when I'm talking to those that are dying. Especially when they're in a considerable amount of pain. It's very difficult at times, and honestly, I'm not always successful. But the trick for me is something I was told in one of my Hospice classes. Whenever you start to cry, you put OTHER people in a position of feeling that they need to comfort you. I'm the sort of person that when I give service to someone, I give myself 100%. Keeping that bit of information tucked away in the back of my head has been my little 'parlor' trick.

I had to give up Hospice for a couple of years after I moved in with BJ. For one, the Hospice center was 90 minutes away; and two, I was planning a wedding and living in a new city, etc. About six months ago, I got the itch again but had to wait for the training to start up. Even though I had been a volunteer for over two years, it was a new hospital and I had to learn it their way (very different training and attitudes in this new Hospice environment, by the way).

I finished my training in October, but had to wait until this month to get the training to do what I've wanted to do for quite a while. That's grief and bereavement. I'll be calling families who have lost someone and seeing how they are doing. After about six months of that, I'll be able to help facilitate the weekly group counseling sessions.

I feel that, if one believes in callings, this really is my calling. I've mentioned before that I'm one of those people that even strangers will tell their life stories to. I've been told that I have a very comforting presence and that after talking with me, people always feel lighter. It's an interesting feeling for me, and I can't really place my finger on it. But when I connect with someone, I CONNECT. The rest of my life completely dissapears and I am 100% with that person at that moment. Believe it or not, I also leave feeling lighter even if the discussion we've had is very heavy.

I think that's why I avoid 'emotional vampires'. There's something about my personality that can detect that sort of person almost immediately. Once I detect that in a person, I pull away immediately and permanently. Maybe I've been gifted with that sense so I'm able to reserve my energy for those that really need me.

Anyway, I'm in training every Monday this month then I get to start this new journey. I'm sure it sounds strange to read that someone is excited to talk to grieving people, but I really am. Just like I feel that I'm at the pinnacle of my career, I feel that this is the pinnacle of my life.

RisibleGirl was blabbing on about another adventure on 01/12 at 05:01 AM

Go visit Einstein's blog!

  

Andie wrote:

There's a journal on my blogroll, critterchick, whom I think you would get along with really well. She hearts seniors and did a lot of work with a senior center that is near her. She has the same interests and loves hearing their stories and life journeys. You might want to write her as I bet you all would have a lot to talk about and you can tell her I sent you.

  

Mia RN wrote:

How wonderful that you have found your calling. I likewise view my work with dying patients as a calling. I actually think some tears with patients and families are acceptable. A little wetness in the corner of your eye may show that you care. I think it is only if you lose it and are sobbing or crying uncontrollably that it would be inappropriate, as yes, they would then feel the need to comfort you. Keep up the good work. I haven't done much with the grieving and suspect I could learn a lot from you!

Next entry: It's the little things

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In case you're wondering....
On this day clear back in 2010 I wrote: The last day of Hospice training and other stuff…
On this day clear back in 2009 I wrote: Who knew that kicking the dog would make me feel better?
On this day clear back in 2008 I wrote: Playing in the boys’ sandbox
On this day clear back in 2007 I wrote: Cocoon
On this day clear back in 2005 I wrote: I don’t know where to begin with this post

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