I got the results from the MRI. The "suspicious lesions" were the same size as six months ago, and no new growths. I was never worried about it, because I just didn't get that 'feeling', but it's good to have my feelings confirmed.

I'd like to thank each and every one of you for your comments here and the email I've received. I've saved all of it to look at and feel the support again when I start to spiral. I am putting all of my hopes into the surgery on the 14th. I feel like getting my face fixed is the last piece of this two year journey of 'yuck'. I shouldn't put all my eggs into that basket, but I feel that if this is fixed, we can close the lid of this 2 year journey and even put a bow on it. Now that we have figured out why I faint; the bottom-line issue, it feels like I'm getting a fresh start. Also, knowing that I'm as good as I'm going to get with the neurology issues, and it's something I can live with, enables me to focus my energy elsewhere. Feeling like this is a clean slate may only make sense to me, but it won't be the first time I've not made sense to other people. Heh.

I should be (and for the most part am) feeling gratitude for the life I'm able to live right now. I feel that I've a split personality of sorts. One side of me is feeling that dark, overwhelmed, hopeless stuff. But I have another side of me that looks at the wonderful gifts I've been given (in no specific order, I promise!):

• My loving and supportive (and VERY handsome) husband. I make sure he knows every.single.day how much I love and appreciate him. He's been such a gift.


• Owning my own business and having customers that like what I do. Shoot, I have the ability to work from home, and the hours I want (and I have a nap almost every day!) Who wouldn't love that?


• My sweet puppy, Einstein. The joy he's brought into my life, is indescribable. He's my little sweet pea.


• My family. Just wow- I never take for granted what a wonderful family I have. We all love each other and are not stingy with sharing how we feel. I don't know many families that can say that. Seeing my sons and their relationship being just as strong as the relationship my siblings have with each other. The women in my sons lives (who are very good friends with each other) are so very special, as is the grandson brought into my life when Casey married Jessica. The love just keeps on growing.


• My friends. Not just friends, but FRIENDS. I'm so, so blessed.


• Health insurance (yeah, REALLY grateful for that!)

I think gratitude is a good way to end my post. Include yourself in that list of things I'm grateful for. You know who you are.... Thank you for being there with me through thick and thin.

Here's to gratitude and a fresh start. ::clink::