If I had a dollar for every time I heard a gastro say that they wanted to 'get to the bottom of this', I'd be able to retire.

OK, that's an exaggeration. Sorry.

As y'all know, my gastro sent me to the ER last Friday so I'd have quick access to labs and imaging. Oh- and to meet my new drug pusher friend, Dr. Waffle.

The gastro's nurse just called me and said that the doc wants to see me to 'get to the bottom of this'. I told her that I've been doing this since the early 80's and I'm still alive and kickin. I told her that when I first met this new gastro back in October I told him that I didn't expect him to cure me- just keep me comfortable when I have the rare flare-up.

I guess he didn't listen to that last part.

I guess it's nice that he cares enough to want to fix me, but I have become a realist about this liver thing. It's not something that he or any other doctor can fix.

It is what it is.

(PS- I really like the way that last sentence rolls off the tongue, don't you?)

I just want documentation when I have flare-ups so if I need to go on disability at some point- the evidence is there. I honestly don't think it'll come to that point as long as I continue to keep a job that allows me to work from home a few days a week. That's been a wonderful thing for my health.

The nurse was insistent, so I guess I get to go in for another round of tests. Thankfully, I had a liver biopsy a year ago- so that one can be crossed off the list.

In case you're wondering- I believe that liver biopsies fall into the category of cruel and unusual punishment and so I'm glad that I only have to get them every five years. I've had five now, and all but one have taken place while I was fully conscious.

Percutaneous Liver Biopsy
In a percutaneous liver biopsy procedure, local anesthesia is used to numb the skin where a small incision is made. A needle the diameter of a pen refill is then passed through the skin and into the liver, where a specimen is obtained. Multiple biopsies may be taken. In these circumstances, the physician establishes where the liver lies by percussing or tapping on the skin overlying the liver and listening to the sound to find an area of dullness, under which the liver lies. Patient cooperation is critical during the procedure.

For the record? The local anesthesia? Not so much.

Oh well, I guess having an over-exuberant doctor is better than having one that ignores me, especially since I'm the one that is first in line when it comes to ignoring me.

I'll let you know if he comes up with some cure-all that 20 some years of doctors haven't found yet.

PS- dear insurance company- thank you for all the money you’ve spent on my noggin and liver. Love and kisses, RG