Saturday was my first day to make Hospice calls on my own. Although I wasn't as frightened as I was my first solo volunteer patient care experience, I was nervous. There wouldn't be any counselors in the building, so I was truly alone.

I had two stacks in my box. One was a set of five files that somehow became lost for seven months. Normally, the family receives calls from Hospice 4-6 weeks after the death of the patient. I decided to tackle that set first.

I looked through the first file and took notes of things I found that would help me to have a fairly knowledgeable conversation with the family members. Then, I started dialing. My fingers were literally shaking as I was punching the numbers on the phone.

The first call out of the gate was complicated on many levels and lasted about 45 minutes. The call was to the daughter of the patient. As I mentioned in a previous post, I was told that most calls would be 5-10 minutes. But my two practice calls were about 30 minutes, so 45 minutes didn't seem out of the ordinary to me. What was unsettling was what I heard this woman's husband say as he was handing her the phone; "It's Hospice calling. Why would they be calling you NOW?". That made me nervous, and I didn't know what to expect.

It turned out to be OK, and after hanging up I felt that it was almost a blessing that she was receiving the call now, rather than when she should have received the call. Her life was completely upside-down right now, and I also heard signs of complicated grieving, so I left a note to one of the counselors to give her a call.

Another call, also over a half an hour, had interesting timing as well. This woman had just come home after visiting her mother's house for the last time. She had to sell the family home- the home she grew up in- and had just come back from her final visit there. She seemed relieved to have someone to talk to about the experience, and I was glad that I so happened to call her on that day.

We've been given the guideline of only making calls for two hours and that was my intent. However, I just kept thinking, "one more". 'One more' turned into just over four hours by the time I was done. By this time, I understood the reason for limiting ourselves to two hours at a time. Talking to so many people in various degrees and stages of grief can be emotionally draining; especially when your intent is to give them 100% of yourself.

I really connected with some of the people that I talked to and I know without a doubt that they could feel that I cared about them, even though I'd never met them. I had five calls that lasted for more than 1/2 hour and those calls were very meaningful to me. There is something really cool about connecting with someone on that level, and I am really looking forward to going back next weekend.