Different stokes for different folks
I was reading a blog last night that kind of bothered me. I was going to leave my comment on her blog, but it got rather long, so I decided that I wanted to share my thoughts here. I'm not writing about this to disrespect her opinion (nor do I want anyone else to do that, which is why I didn't link to her blog). I just wanted to discuss that topic a bit because I feel that I fall into the category she was referring to even though I don't believe she was specifically talking about me. I just wanted to defend those bloggers she was referring to.

The point of the post was that she felt that the people who write the witty, observant type of blogs (I'm thinking Seinfeld?) are putting on an act and that they were basically writing for their readers. She felt that this was covering up self-esteem problems.

As for me, I understand and like these blogs and the people behind them. I'm assuming that they're like me in that my writing is not an act and has nothing to do with self-esteem. This is how I am in real life. I even giggle about things when I'm all by myself because I am constantly amused by what goes on around me. I talk about what interests me, and I'm mostly attracted to the blogs that are like mine.

Really, look at the types of books out there. There are funny books, romance novels, spiritual books, etc. People write what they enjoy writing about or what they're good at. Sure, some authors of books write what they think will sell, but I don't think they're hiding anything. As for blogs, I think most write for their own enjoyment, and if they're like me, they write to amuse themselves. If nobody likes it, who cares. I'm not asking for anyone's opinion on how I look (I have a mirror), if I'm a good writer (I know I have a problem with grammar and apostrophe's), or whether anyone thinks I'm crazy (because I already know the answer to that!) wink

It's fun to write. I'll certainly admit that it is nice to see people coming back to read about what's going on in my life, just like it's nice that people call me to go have lunch with them. It's because they enjoy spending time with me. Who doesn't like that?

But the point is, I write for me, not anyone else. My personal journal (prior to going online) and letters to family and friends read very much like my blog. It usually contained funny observations, or something dumb I did that day. That's who I am, and I love to go back weeks or months later to re-read the dumb stuff I've written about. It makes me laugh and I LOVE to laugh. It's kind of like watching re-runs of a comedy that I've enjoyed, only better because it's all about me.me.me!

I went to lunch with a girlfriend of mine on Tuesday. We talked about some very deep things and both of us cried, but we also laughed a whole lot. At the end of the lunch we giggled about the fact that we were laughing and talking about death and cancer all in the same lunch hour. We connected. It's OK to have fun and be light hearted as long as you also can respectfully acknowledge in whatever way you feel comfortable, the sad things.

In Hospice, we laugh just as much as we cry. Laughter is SO good for the soul. So is connecting.

The blogs I avoid are the ones that live their lives to get people to feel sorry for them. Emotional vampires, martyrs, and drama queens/kings (in the attention-seeker way... I like FUNNY drama queen/kings). It's draining and annoying. I avoid those people in real life too.

I have a secret online journal that only a hand full of people know about. It contains very private thoughts and the comments are closed. I rarely write in it, but I do so to release emotions that nobody else needs to deal with. Again, I write that for me, but I have shared it with some who I felt need to know *why* I understand what they're feeling. I also wanted them to see that you can be on rock bottom and there is sunlight out there. I have built some really great coping tools over my life, and I have hubby and sis to talk to when I need it. But I still need to write because that's who I am.

I feel that blogs really are a reflection of what people are like in real life. Bloggers own the real estate, and that's the cool part. They can blog about whatever they'd like and not worry about boring anyone to tears or making anyone's eyes bleed. People can choose to read or not, but in real life people don't usually have that option. I mean really, have you ever been prisoner to a person in real life that just wouldn't stop talking? It's hard to walk away if you're a nice person. But a blog? They'll never know if you click the little "x" at the top of the page.

A blog should be for one's own entertainment- whatever that entertainment might be.

So, there's the other side of the coin. Now you can see why I didn't leave all of this in a teeny tiny comment box. smile

RisibleGirl was blabbing on about another adventure on 01/06 at 03:01 AM

Go visit Einstein's blog!

  

opinionatedguy wrote:

I too agree with your thoughts. I know that I write for myself. Sometimes I laugh
at the things that I write (and I might be the only one!). But, I enjoy it. And,
if others do too, all the better. I'll be back!


  

Iki wrote:

Perhaps I should have just gone into my long winded post without mentioning that another person’s post *sparked it*.

Always good advice... since that's what I do. But then again, I like to pretend everything was my idea. *roflmao*


  

Avatar for RisibleGirl
RisibleGirl wrote:

A little damage control...
Perhaps I shouldn't have started out my post with "I read a blog last night that bothered me". I never said that it was me she was talking about. I said that I fall into that category. I should have added the word 'sometimes'. Geez, you leave off a word and it gets a bit crazy in here.

Perhaps I should have just gone into my long winded post without mentioning that another person's post *sparked it*. People's knickers are in a twist over nothing. I didn't link to this person's post, because her comment was innocuous and not the theme of the entire post. It just SPARKED this blog entry.

I've done this several times. I'll read something in someone else's blog that sparks a blog entry for me. I always mention what sparked my topic and always link to the other person's blog. It's because I don't want to look like I'm stealing ideas.

Perhaps if I'd of given out the blog address, people would have seen it for the innocuous statement that it was. But this person has very personal information on her blog and I didn't want to expose her in that way.

Like I said, she has a right to her opinion, just like I have a right to mine. I don't see the issue with people having funny stuff all the time. That was the point of my post. There is no rule that says everyone *has* to like it, for sure, but there's no reason to assume that they're hiding anything. They just like to write about funny things. I don't remember a rule book anywhere that says a blog has to have depth or talkn about personal things. A blog is that person's real estate to write whatever they want. Funny, sad, deep, shallow, whatever. There is no reason to judge anyone or try to guess their motives. Who cares what their motives are? You like? You read. You don't like? You don't read. Simple as that.

And Jay? Haven't I taught you better than to insult people? Go to your room. That wasn't nice.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi



  

CT wrote:

What are "different stokes"?


  

ASB wrote:

ok...I found it and I have to say, I didn;t get what you got from her post. I got blogs where it's all funny all the time...shallow, meaningless haha's, no real depth, no real sparkles of the person behind the blog...just all happy, shiny, rainbowy, I'm so witty and funny all the time blogs.

I can name at least 10 blogs where it's totally obvious the author wouldn't give away a piece of their real selves to dave their souls...instead everything is cloaked in funny haha. It's fake. It's not real.

I am a witty amusing person...dammned straight! But I don't blog that way every day. Some days are bitchfests from hell. Some days are recipes. Some days are whiny my foot hurts and I got no sleep posts. Because even basically happy, witty, funny people have off days. Any blog that's witty all the time? Either they're on major happy pills or they're hiding the truth of their sad lives behind laughter...a lot of comedians have said that very thing.


  

Iki wrote:

I don't think I've ever given this topic this much thought. I can usually tell the folks who are "fronting" and the ones who are just plain witty and interesting, and I just avoid the former and blogroll the latter. wink But I'm with you - I write for me because sometimes I think and say funny shit and I want to remember that stuff so I can laugh about it again - sometimes it's good for you. Here recently since Bebe died I've been going through my archives and remembering what a great time I had with her, looking at the pictures, and smiling. It helps heal.

That said, there's a whole boatload of stuff I don't talk about on my blog - mainly because my family reads it, and they don't need to know every fucking thing about me, but also because some stuff is nobody's damn business. There's not a lot of depressing stuff on my blog, but that's because I'm basically a happy person. smile

Anyway, apparently I'm taking over the hijacking a blog thing. *lol* Well said, my friend.


  

Jay-B wrote:

In all honesty she was probably directing it at people like me. Although one may consider blogs like mine to be some sort of show or made up fiasco, it's a sad truth that the ridiculous things in them are in fact true. I can honestly say I've never made anything up on it. It's not sad that this girl has made any comment regarding the subject. What is sad is her lack of appreciation for the experiences of others. Regardless of the fiction or non-fiction written on these blogs, it is the ability to write whatever you'd like that is the most intruiging. I'm not sure of her url, but to her and her inconsiderate remarks I say "poo on that".


  

Anonymous G wrote:

What E says? Me too! Love you both. and E, too.

Signed-the blogless one,
Anonymous G


  

letti wrote:

i initially started my own blog because my family has a blog where everyone posts to keep in touch because they are all over the globe. Then i realised because i had so much to talk about ( who doesn't ) that i started my wown blog that my family could come and peruse without thinking, "oh, she's so full of herself she's taken over the family blog"..*laugh* Anyway, it's just a personal collection of my own thoughts..witty or not is up to anyone who chances upon my site, but i totally agree with you and like you said, to each his/her own. Amen.!


  

Avatar for RisibleGirl
RisibleGirl wrote:

Thanks, E. That was really sweet. I didn't think she was talking about me and that's why I didn't link to her blog. I didn't want anything bad to happen in her blog because of something I said. I did want to come to the defense of those that do blog in the way she mentioned. I have lots of friends who blog that way and wanted to explain the other side of things. It was a topic that interested me, so thought I'd take this chance to write about it.

I seriously wrote most of this out in her comments, then felt really dumb about it. So thought I'd just barf my thoughts out here on my blog. Since I have a bad habit of hijacking others' posts (as you well know!), I thought I'd try knocking that off for a New Year's Resolution. wink

(((((E))))), sweet girl. xoxo

Be the change you wish to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi



  

E wrote:

It's interesting you should say that, coz I didn't think your blog was
anywhere close to the ones she was talking about. See, like you said, this is you,
the real you, the way you are all the time, the way we've come to know you.
It's not contrived in any way. It's just you. I felt she was talking more about
the contrived ones - the ones who go out searching for acclamation and who write
what they think people want them to write. Your blog has depth, character, warmth,
humour and honesty, as does hers. Just my opinion, coz ya know I love you both.


  

Ginny wrote:

I second that! Good post. :o) Well said.


  

Rebeka wrote:

I couldn't agree with you more!


  

Avatar for RisibleGirl
RisibleGirl wrote:

ASB, you know I *heart* you, and I realize that I've asked you for links and you've provided them to me. This gal has highly sensitive stuff on her blog and it would be an EXTREME invasion of her privacy.

I sincerely hope that you understand. Ummmmm, I'll send you a ummmm, greek statue or something to make up for it?

Be the change you wish to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi



  

RagDoll wrote:

I can't add to what you posted here, except Amen! I enjoy reading your blog.


  

ASB wrote:

i gotta see that blog and that post...please send the url. thanks


  

Cat wrote:

i write my blog for my own amusement and because i like to tweak my web page all the time. i am a big geek that way.

but mostly? i just like the attention. ha!
-----


Next entry: OK, I'll admit it

Previous entry: Because I'm all about disclosure...


In case you're wondering....
On this day clear back in 2010 I wrote: The last day of Hospice training and other stuff…
On this day clear back in 2009 I wrote: Who knew that kicking the dog would make me feel better?
On this day clear back in 2008 I wrote: Playing in the boys’ sandbox
On this day clear back in 2007 I wrote: Cocoon
On this day clear back in 2005 I wrote: I don’t know where to begin with this post

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