I attended a teleconference a little while ago that has me stirred up a bit, and not in a good way. Now I'm being Mata Hari making calls and sending email all over the place to see if anyone knows what's up. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), it's a BEAUTIFUL day in rainy town and it's a Friday, so it's pretty much a ghost town at corporate.

Y'all know that I *LOVE* my job. LOVE LOVE LOVE. My being stressed and tired has nothing to do with my job or the people I work with. Being stressed is due to the head injury and my ability to not handle stress the way I used to. I can't even imagine how I would have handled my last job with this issue. I probably would be wearing one of those cute white jackets and rocking back and forth in a corner somewhere.

Anyhoo.... back to the conundrum...

Beside the fact that my last job had become hell on earth, another reason I left was because all people with a job title that had anything to do with training, would eventually be centralized and forced to either work for the vendor that took over training development, or quit. No layoff or severance. No way was I going to be in that situation.

My new (well, it's not new I guess, I've been here almost a year now) job, even though I do develop training, is not labeled as a trainer. I'm very slyly labeled as a risk manager. I just so happen to manage risk by developing training and communications to make our employee base more aware of their role in Information Security.

It is the best of ALL worlds. I get to dabble in training development, learn new stuff (I am in LOVE with the topic of Information Security), do a lot of writing, do web stuff, etc. Every little single thing I love to do, I get to do in my current job.

Part of my training role is to attend "Learning Leaders" meetings to keep up on what's going on and add my VERY IMPORTANT .02. (ha!). That was this afternoon. They announced this afternoon that the transition to centralization is starting now. I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention, thinking that I was well under that radar.

UNTIL.....

I received a meeting invite for 07/10 that included the new head of centralized training and five other people. I happen to have a long history with the new head and love him to pieces, so sent him a note saying that I was looking forward to seeing him, still being rather unaware of the potential outcome. He wrote back that he's really looking forward to seeing me and that we're going to have a lot of fun together.

SCREECH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rather than ask him what he meant by that, I called one of the other people in this meeting (who is actually a manager of training for my division- but I do not report to him... I'm kind of a rogue trainer) to see if he knew what was going on. He said he had an inkling and asked me if I had a choice, would I rather move to training or stay in Information Security and not do any training development.

"I'm sorry", I said, "I don't want to choose. I don't want to give either one of those things up.".

He said that I might not have a choice.

I have a call into my manager, but again- it's a nice sunny day in the land of rain and I'm sure she's gone. I'm sure I won't hear back from her until Monday.

I'm going to have to think long and hard about this. I'm like a kid that doesn't want to give up any of my toys. Each toy is my favorite, depending on the day.