I'm going to start posting things to help some of my friends (even the ones I don't know about yet!) that have lost someone they love, make it through the holidays.

Fearless Leader held two seminars last week, and I had the good fortune to help out with both of them. I'll be attending a third, much larger grief event on Thursday evening. Between the three events, I have and will gather a lot of good information to share here.

I took pictures of some of the ideas that Fearless leader had around the room last Wednesday and thought I'd share them here:

Keep your loved one's memory alive. Light candles; make a toast; buy a gift they would have liked and donate it to someone in need.


Give a donation in honor of your loved one to a group or a cause they supported


Write to your loved one in a journal or in cards you wish you could give


Create a memory box, and have everyone who comes into your home write a memory of your loved one to place in the box. You could also use their Christmas stocking for this purpose.


These are just a few tips to get you started. I'll have much, much more as we get closer to the holidays.

I'd like to share with you a new tradition that we've decided to start in our home. Our next generation is starting to settle down into families of their own. We have people who are special to us that have passed on and we want to keep their memory alive for us and for our new families that haven't had the opportunity to meet them. This is especially important during the holidays, when their presence will be missed by many.

The bearded eye-roller and I are going to go ornament shopping, and will pick out an ornament that we feel is a good representation of our loved ones that have passed. We will wait until the entire family is together and then tell a story about each person, before hanging the ornament on the tree each year. Each story will be written down, so we can pass it on to future generations.

I often hear in grief groups, that people around them act as if their loved one never existed. They say that nobody wants to talk about them, or hear stories- much less mention their name. I wanted to do something that teaches my family (now and future) that it's OK to share stories and honor the people who have passed on before us.

Not only is it OK, it's important.

If you have someone in your life who has lost someone, please give them the gift of sharing stories of their loved one. Even just hearing you say that person's name is a comfort.

"Mary, I wanted you to know that I've been thinking about you, especially with the holidays coming up. Bob was a wonderful man and I will really miss [his laughter, his jokes, etc.]."

Just a sentence like that would mean the world to someone.

Stay tuned, more holiday tips to come.