During my last Hospice experience I learned that the dying have a lot more control over timing than we give them credit for. I've heard stories about people who wanted to die alone, so they waited until everyone who stood vigil over them for days were out of the room (using the bathroom, going to the vending machine 'really quick', etc.), and choose to die at that moment. I've heard stories of people who waited until their loved one was able to make it from across the states. The event that happened last Thursday brings a whole new meaning to what I've learned.

Please know that I'm referring to the patient as "the patient" out of respect for their privacy; not as a sign that I think of the patient as a non-person. I will never write anything that will come anywhere near invading our patient's privacy, therefore, they will always be "the patient" with very sketchy details.

On to the story...

Last Thursday night, our last Hospice training session, a Hospice team was brought in to talk to us about a patient who was currently in Hospice. Each patient is assigned a team of four people; a volunteer, a registered nurse, a social worker and a non-denominational minister. The four people from this patient's team were there to talk to us about each role in caring for the patient.

Prior to talking to us, we were asked to listen to a piece of music from the last Lord of the Rings movie and symbolically bring that patient into the room with us to affirm his life.

The volunteer commented right away that this piece of music was perfect, because the patient loved the water and sailing. Of course, the lyrics are also quite symbolic of dying and going to another place.

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You've come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore...


What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

Friday morning, the Hospice center got an announcement that the patient died at the exact time we were completing our ritual to welcome this person into our thoughts. That sent me a pretty powerful message; something that seems to happen to me frequently with my Hospice work. This is one of the reasons I love Hospice so much. I get more out of it than I could ever give.