It looks like *this* is the new crunch weekend. Last week was screwed up royally, but I'm back to ground zero (ground zero plus 5 inches, even) and can see the light to the end of the tunnel.

This one, anyway...

I've been hitting the ground running every day for as long as I can remember but, based on a great day yesterday, decided to take a break on the back porch as soon as there was daylight.

I made myself a cup o' joe, grabbed the bag of peanuts and headed out to the back porch and just took it all in.

The jays have learned that usually when we're out there, they get fed. They're smart like that (or are we dumb like that?). So, soon the jays came to have their breakfast.

The jay that usually finds the nuts first is the loud mouth. We call him the rooster, because he thinks he can scare us off by yelling at us. We've also noted that we've had co-workers like this. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! What he doesn't realize, is that if he'd just keep his yapper shut, he'd probably have all the nuts to himself. Instead, he's basically notifying the 'hood that the food is out. The squirrels have even come to recognize this as their dinner bell.

It was lightly raining, and the leaves were dropping from the trees, two by two. I felt my body relax in a way I haven't felt in many, many weeks. I pushed the idea of the work ahead of me out of my head as best as I could and tried to allow my mind to be still.

It worked, for the most part, and I decided that I should add this 'break' to my telecommuting days, every day.

Yesterday was a great day for me at work. Besides getting back to ground zero, I had a meeting with someone that I've needed to have for a while. I left that meeting feeling very energized and positive. Something I haven't felt in a very long time.

I'm not saying that my professional life is back the way I know it, nor is the bearded eye-roller's life. But we're starting to feel a little less fear. I'm sorry to be so vague about what's really going on, but I can't say too much due to the confidential nature on both accounts.

I guess, if I'm going to be philosophical about the 'whys'; why this happened to both of us at the same time; why now; etc., I'd have to say that it gave both of us an understanding of just what we're willing to do to keep our home life the way it is. We both have made some pretty hefty statements about what we will and will not do in regard to our careers.

We're rethinking those ideals.

In all of this, it's cemented our knowledge that he and I are a team. As stressful as this time has been for both of us, we never took it out on each other- not even for a minute. Instead, we both got to see a side of each other that doesn't normally play a part in our marriage. We both got to see just how admirable the other person is in their business 'life'. He's told me how proud he is of me, and I've said the same to him.

I've also told him that if we lost everything and had to live in a tent, we'd still have the most important thing- each other.

We haven't crossed our individual hurdles yet, but somehow it seems to matter less and less.