When today's plumbers showed up at 11:30 a.m, I over-explained how I am careful about what gets flushed down the toilet (those that know me will not be surprised by this over-explaining stuff...I have a tendency to do that.) I was even tempted to do the finger quotes when I said "what". I didn't want them finding anything down there and thinking it was mine. OK, I'm sure you've had enough of the visuals.

They got to work by first turning off the water to the house, then removing the toilet. Of course, this gave me an immediate reaction of needing to go to the bathroom.

I heard the following comments within the span of 5 minutes (it's a small house, you can hear everything from any room):

• What happens if we break it?


• OMG, you've GOT to be kidding me


• Great, now it's freakin' stuck

Then then came out to tell me that they needed to go get another tool. "You'll be here all afternoon, right?"

Yeah, right. I'll just cross my legs, try not to move too much, and keep my thoughts occupied with wondering why I have to drink so much coffee in the morning.

For a while, I considered the idea of crying a lot because then perhaps I wouldn't have to go to the bathroom anymore. Then considered that maybe that story I've heard about someone crying so much that they didn't need to use the bathroom for days was an old wives tale. Of course, it might have made me feel better.

The plumbers came back and snaked the toilet with the new tool. No luck. They found the roof vent that the previous plumber couldn't find (and made fun of said plumber because they said it was "freakin' easy to find"), and snaked that. Still clogged. Then they said that maybe between all the snaking they've done, that they could just give it a good solid blast of water to clear all the stuff out. Nope.

After trying all of that, they came in and explained to me that there was about 10 feet of clogged up "stuff". I took it as my opportunity to once again over-explain that it wasn't me, saying something about putting up a sign in the bathroom to not flush things down the toilet other than toilet paper.

Even though I feel I did a fairly good job of clearing my good name, I wanted to crawl under a rock. I mean, what kind of people ARE WE that have 10 feet of backed up stuff? What could that stuff be? I don't even flush the flushable scrubbing bubbles bathroom cleaner wipes. Surely it's not 10 feet of hubby's beard trimmings, although I suspect that's a good five feet of it based on what I found in the sink this morning.. yuck! I need to clear that image out of my head.

They left at 4:00 pm and will be back tomorrow with bigger and badder tools. The sinks are still backing up, but thankfully I'll be working in the office tomorrow and will have bathroom facilities at my beck and call.

I'm thinking of starting a bake sale or something, because I have a feeling that once this is all said and done our bank account will be drained right along with the sinks.

Cupcake anyone?