About three weeks ago I was asked to create a class to teach people how to use a new tracking system created in Lotus Notes. Lotus Notes is not on my computer, I have never used Lotus Notes, and I have never set my eyes on this new tracking system. The only reason I agreed to it is because a) I thought I'd have a month to get this together; b) I'm smart and what I've seen of Louts Notes, it looks easy so I know I'll pick it up quickly; and c) it was my new manager that asked me to do it.

......All are very compelling reasons, especially reason c.

Last week, I was told that Lotus Notes should be on my computer "any day now", and I had until March 31st to complete the training modules. I was feeling a bit of pressure because the training modules need to include a) an overview of Lotus Notes (a program I have never used); b) how to use the tracking system (a system I've never seen); and c) several mock-up scenarios to input on the system (scenarios I've never been involved with).

Today, I still do not have Lotus Notes on my computer so have yet to use that program, let alone see the actual tracking system. Oh, and I was told that training had to be completed by 3/31. That means that not only do I have to create the training, but all of the people have to be trained. By 3/31.

Oh yeah, there's also an 88 page Word document to be converted to a web based manual so it's ready to go when the system goes live on 4/1.

If I can pull this off, I'm going to make myself a cape and some sort of groovy emblem to wear on my chest. Of course, I'll have to do that after 3/31 because I won't have time to even sleep before then.

No worries, I'll still make time to blog. I do have my priorities, you know...

I was TIRED last night after work. I'd dealt with a few too many YaHoos, and just wanted to go home and put on my comfie clothes. First I had to stop at the store to pick up 'a couple' of things. BJ needed shampoo (he won't use my froo froo stuff), and I needed milk for my coffee and I needed lettuce. See? That's just a couple of things... but I *needed* them.

I should have just kept driving when I had to drive up and down about four rows before finding a parking place. My store isn't normally like that. But, they've sucked me in with their stupid savings card and promises of frequent flier miles.

I found a parking place and started walking up toward the store and what did I see? GRAND PRE-OPENING TASTE OF SAFEWAY! signs everywhere, and no shopping carts in sight. This could only mean one thing. Everyone in my little hicktown was skipping dinner and grazing their way through Safeway.

I entered the store and started mumbling under my breath, probably looking like a crazy lady. There were extra employees there just to make sure everyone was greeted every five minutes. I saw huge lines at the checkout counters, and I'd be darned if I was going to be in one of those lines for only four items. So I started loading up my cart.

I was accosted at every turn with someone offering me a taste of this or taste of that. Finally, I just quit making eye contact with everyone and pretended I was deaf.

As I entered the shampoo aisle, I heard music that didn't sound like Muzak. It then occurred to me that they had a live band there at my Safeway. As I got closer, I saw that it was some sort of Karaoke set up, and a guy playing a saxophone. It was then that I decided I had enough groceries and I needed to get the heck out of Dodge.

As if all of that wasn't enought to send me over the edge, as I stood in line I was accosted by the Easter Bunny trying to get me to take goodies out of his basket. Apparently, the young girl picked up on my mood and started apologizing for how busy it was in the store. I told her it was OK and tried to smile. Then she said, "We sure appreciate your business". I thanked her.

Then she said, "without customers like you, we wouldn't be able to do things like this!", in her chipper voice.

Grumble~

I've had nightmares worse than this.

I was on the elevator today, minding my own business and what do I hear?

"Yeah, he's not happy unless he's 'jiggling' balls"

Of course, I know he meant juggling; but I have an adolescent sense of humor. So I started giggling. On the elevator. In the executive elevator, no less.

I hightailed it out of there as fast as I could.

....and continued giggling all the way down the street.

I live in a town that is best described as hick-town. I wouldn't necessarily live here by choice, but BJ lived here before we met and logistically speaking, it made the most sense to move into his house when we got married. His office is close to our house, and I telecommute most of the time. So, there would be no winning THAT argument.

I'll admit that I can be a snob at times. I'm used to living on the "East Side". Where I'm from, the East Side is the more affluent part of town. The town I live in now is lacking in culture; unless you include the type of culture you'd find in a petri dish. It is not unusual to see trucks with gun racks in the back, and the guy driving that truck spitting out a wad of chew. Unless I'm wearing sweats and a stained shirt with a logo on it of some kind, I look out of place. Needless to say, I always look out of place. I wouldn't dream of going out in public like that, even if I wanted to impress the 'locals'. Although I used to have a great "Scumby" shirt. Hmmmm, too bad I got rid of that.



Shall I include my joke about not fitting in because I have all of my teeth? No, I guess that'd be mean.

With that said, you'll now understand why I was a bit perplexed at what I saw out of my living room window. I was opening the curtains and what caught my eye? A man across the street wearing a kilt. Here. In hick town. I'm not against kilt wearing, especially if the guy has nice legs. But this guy was, well, out of shape. Additionally, he was not wearing what I'd think of as typical kilt 'garb'. His shirt looked like a hanes t-shirt, and although I couldn't see his feet, I imagine he was wearing some sort of sort of athletic shoe. If I really let my imagination go, I'll bet he was wearing black socks too. Black socks with shorts seem to be all the rage here, so why not try that with a kilt?

Since I've not made any attempt to meet my neighbors, I'll never really know why this man was wearing a kilt. This one may bother me for a while.

I had the most lovely dream last night and it got me to thinking.

I love dogs. I love the way they get all excited when you come home. I love the way the look at you when you're talking to them like they understand every word you say. I also love to pet them and cuddle with them.

I have hubby to do all of this now, so I really don't need a dog anymore (snicker). Of course, I much prefer having BJ over having a dog for many reasons; two of which are that he doesn't wet on the carpet or chew up the furniture. I also don't have to take him out for a walk.

But I miss puppies. I just love puppy breath and being licked by little puppies. I do not miss potty training, arranging my schedule so I'm home at a certain time, making arrangements while I'm on vacation, or cleaning up dog messes in the back yard.

Probably the biggest reason I'll never get a dog again was the pain I felt when I had to put my last dog to sleep. I prolonged the inevitable way too long because I just did not want to let her go. I kept having the vet give her more and more medications just so I could have her that much longer. She was such a sweet girl, especially considering the life she had before she came into my home. She was a rescue dog and all of six years old when I got her. She was horribly abused and she had severe health problems, seemingly cleared up by the time I got her.

The way she would look in your eyes showed the sweet little spirit that was housed in that worn little body. She only lived for three years with me before I had to let her go, and it was one of the most heart wrenching things I'd ever been through. I still cry about it now every once in a while and that was over two years ago. I miss that sweet girl and I was glad that she lived the life of a little princess if only for three years.

I had a dream last night that I decided to volunteer at a veterinarians office. Just go in the back and hold and pet the puppies and the dogs. I wonder if veterinarians have such a program? I certainly wouldn't give up Hospice for this, but maybe I could get my fix once a week.

I'll have to check into it.