OK, so I lied when I said that was my last post. Perhaps I'm being 'fed' these quotes for a reason?

This quote came across my RSS feeds today:

There are people who always seem to look for conflicts. If you meet them, walk away. The battle they are fighting isn't with you, it is within themselves.

I tried to find the author of this quote, but couldn't. Instead, I found this article which I think was a good read: Dealing with Difficult People

I especially liked the lead in:

Can you recall the last time you had to deal with a negative or difficult person? Or the last time someone said something with the intention of hurting you? How did you handle it? What was the result? What can you do in the future to get through these situations with peace and grace?

I'm learning that this is a great opportunity to practice my "just walk away from it" skills in my new toolbox. Conflict addicts will find a way to be angry whether you ignore or engage. There's really not a whole lot I can do to change someone else's behavior or feelings. My part is to apologize if I've done something wrong. If that's not good enough, then it's time to disengage. Set phasers to IGNORE. (ha- that there was a Star Trek reference if you aren't aware... )

It's really that simple. Who knew?

I particularly loved this quote from the article:

Remember that you have the choice to commit to being surrounded by people who have the qualities you admire: optimistic, positive, peaceful and encouraging people. As Kathy Sierra said, “Be around the change you want to see in the world.”

That right there, wraps up exactly why I feel anxiety when I'm around negative/dishonest people. I felt like it was my responsibility to be nice and let people do what they wanted- even if it was not in my best interest. Even when it felt that they were abusive. My soul knew better. This is my final frontier (ha! another Star Trek reference) in therapy.

Once I decided that I don't have to spend time with conflict addicts, life got a whole lot easier. I still have some work to do in that area, which includes setting phasers to IGNORE on boundary crossers, but the more I practice, the easier it becomes.

My therapist told me I’m like a beacon to conflict addicts and boundary crossers, simply because of who I am. This is why perfect strangers want to tell me their life story within seconds of meeting them. This is why it takes me so long to get errands done- I'm constantly stopped by strangers who want me to listen to them. Mostly they're just well-meaning people who just see a friendly face. Until I learn to dim my light (create a force-field is what my therapist calls it) around these people, I will continually attract them.

.... but I don't have to engage. It's not my job.

This self-care stuff is showing me the beauty of peace, and that it's up to me to ensure my OWN peaceful existence.

Mantra for the day: Chase the peace.

That wasn't my last post! I'm going to post again, because I ran across this quote and wanted to save it.

Quote Of The Day

People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Indeed....

.......Before I head to Scotland!

Again- if you are interested in breaking into my home, don't bother. We've hired a house-sitter AND we have an alarm system (not just a barking dog!)

It still doesn't seem real to me. I remember when I went to Italy, it didn't seem real either. Even while I was there. I remember seeing fireflies for the first time and thinking, "eh- I've seen these on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland". It just never really seemed real.

I'm glad I kept a travel log, because I've forgotten most of our vacation there. I plan to do the same for this trip.

Be warned! Lots of words and pictures!

I'm glad that it will be cooler in the UK (high 50's, low 60's baby!) because I don't tolerate heat very well. Fainting season has arrived. I've had four near misses over the past week, and it's reminded me that I need to start drinking more electrolytes and eat more salt. I'm glad I won't have to worry about that on vacation. My biggest worry will be....... NOTHING.

I've had several months of working WAY too many hours and several weeks of situational anxiety (on top of the anxiety that comes naturally to me- heh). All situations leading to the anxiety seem to have cleared, the project ruling my life is now in review, and life has wrapped itself into a nice little bow.....right in time for vacation.

I've told all of my clients that I will NOT be taking my cellphone with me, nor will I be checking "work" email while I'm gone. 17 days of no client communication and I'm not worried in the least. I've worked hard to get to where I am today, and I deserve some "me" time. The benefit of being me is that when I'm gone from work, it's VERY apparent. In my case, absence always makes my client's heart grow fonder. ::Giggle::

All systems are a go for a relaxing and renewing vacation, and more money to be made when I get back. I couldn't be more thankful.

On behalf of my husband and me, we thank you for acknowledging that everyone in this country should have the same rights that we have. Thank you for speaking your truth on such a controversial subject during your campaign.

George Takei (love him!) said it best on his blog:

We cannot say we are a nation that stands for equality, while in the same breath denying basic rights of happiness, financial parity, and state-recognized companionship to millions.

I give that a big standing ovation. Bravo!

While I'm at it- a big fat BOOOOOOO to North Carolina. Come on people! Do you really think same-sex marriage will ruin our society? I'd be more worried about how lightly hetero couples take their vows. I ran across this while reading the celebrations around the Internet. It's sad that I've heard most of these things while having discussions with friends who do not like the idea of same-sex marriage. Yes, I can be friends with people who do not have the same belief system I do, but I ask them to be respectful about this topic around me. It's one of a handful of things that push my buttons so it's best if we agree to disagree and not discuss again once I learn their beliefs on this topic. I'm not out to convince anyone of my views, but I will not remain silent if someone is disrespectful.

Anyhoo- for your reading pleasure:

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester and air conditioning.


2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.


3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.


4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.


5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ would be destroyed.


6. The only valid marriages are those which produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.


7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.


8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.


9. Children can never succeed without both a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.


10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy or longer life spans.

I tried to find the original author of this quote, but was unsuccessful. Too bad, because it's a good one:

Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you.

I like this quote because it pretty much sums up one of my beliefs-- everything that happens to you can and should be a learning experience. Good or bad, but I'm thinking in the context of bad in this post. Thank the bad people and bad experiences for giving you that learning experience which allowed you to grow. Don't hang on to anger- - let it go. FORGIVE (but don't forget, otherwise there goes your learning experience....)

Bad things happen. Bad people happen. I do not believe they happen 'for a reason'. I hate that this is promoted so much because it has the potential to make people feel that they deserved whatever happened in a way- - fate or otherwise. That's so unfair.

"Bubba shot his brother Joe, but everything happens for a reason!"
"Your mother died in a car accident while getting you milk for your breakfast, but everything happens for a reason!"

....even better, imagine "everything happens for a reason" in a sing-songy voice. That's pretty much how I hear it.

I do believe that you can make anything that has happened to you a learning experience though, and that's what I look for whenever something bad happens. What can I learn from it to make me a better person? Sometimes it takes the rear-view mirror to figure it out, but I always do.

I've learned SO MUCH the past few months that I feel that my head is going to explode (in a good way)! "This" may not be quite over yet, but I've learned so much that I do not fear the future like I did when the "messy" started up. I used to be afraid to say "bring it on!", but now I say it with passion because of the wonderful growth spurt I've had. I like how that feels.

So- BRING ON THE LESSONS! I'm an eager student.

EDITED TO ADD:

WOW-WOW-WOW! Talk about synchronicity! I wrote this post early this morning and just saw this from Oprah:

Today's Thank You Game challenge is to thank someone who taught you something. (http://on.fb.me/ThankYouGame)

There are very few life experiences that don't hold a teachable moment. If you care to look beneath the surface of appearances, you'll most likely find an "aha" or two. The greatest learning for me usually happens in times of distress, pain, suffering. So I would like to thank the people who've brought me those dark moments, when I felt most wounded, or betrayed. You have been my greatest teachers. Thank you.

Maya Angelou many years ago shared this profound wisdom: "When people show you who they are believe them; the first time."

Now, I do.

Oprah

Just. Wow.