I just wanted to take a moment and wish all my blogging friends a safe and happy holiday. I'll be busy preparing for, then entertaining family through tomorrow afternoon.

I have some great stuff to blog about, just no time to do it!

I hope you have a wonderful holiday with at least one person that you love.

~Hugs~

RisibleGirl

Lifted from House of Snark

People who know me will SO find a particular part of this funny....

You Were Nice This Year!

You're an uber-perfect person who is on the top of Santa's list. You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year. Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good. Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight?

I am a people watcher by nature, and so while waiting for my train to depart I tend to watch all the people as they get on and take their seats. Not in the lurking stalking kind of way, mind you. Really, I'm quite stealth about the whole thing.

I saw one gal get on last night that looked like death. Her hair looked as though she'd been sweating all day and her face was really pale in some parts, and really red in other parts. Clearly, the woman was sick and I was happy to see her go up to the next level to find a seat.

From that point on, I could hear her hacking all the way from the next level. It was a nasty cough too... the kind that makes me visualize all of the cough particles floating around in slow motion right into my lungs. For the hour trip home, I was imagining what all of the passengers around her were thinking. It would be impossible for them to find a different seat, really. The train is always packed to capacity. But in my head, there were several empty seats and rows around her. A big germ bubble, so to speak.

As we got off the train, I wanted to say, "Lady- go home and get some rest." "Oh, and stay off of public transportation with those germs of yours."

Yuck.

BJ and I were driving around last Sunday and I noticed a cow with horns AND udders. I thought surely this was a freak of nature, or perhaps a hermaphrodite. I mean, everyone knows girl cows don't have horns, right? So I queried hubby about it.

BJ, coming from a family tree of Oklahoma cow ranchers, looked at me in udder (get it? huh? do ya? huh?) disbelief and then informed me that I was indeed wrong.

Whaaaaat??? I'm 44 years old and just NOW discovering this? What else is there that I don't know?

Shuddering...

BJ's office holiday party was last night. All of the houses made it to the banquet facility without falling apart. Even the crack house (that was our nickname for one of the houses that had a small crack on one side.)

Ok, sorry, I have to digress for a moment. It's been my holiday tradition for several years to make either gingerbread or candy houses. It's something the boys always enjoyed and it was good, messy, family fun. One year when it was gingerbread houses, one of the houses broke while coming out of the mold. I decided that we could probably hide the fact that it was broken if we covered it with enough candy. We each had houses to decorate and my oldest son decided to take the broken one.

Before you say "oh, what a sweet boy" about it, let me finish my story. It wasn't because he was being nice. It was because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. He had decided that he was going to make it a crack house. Yup. I'm going to have to find a picture so I can post it at some point, but it was hysterical. He took tires off one of his old toy cars (he was about 18 at the time) and put them on the roof. He put trash all around the outside of the house. All that was missing was a fridge and lazy-boy out in the front yard. It was truly an abomination. This mommy couldn't have been more proud. Seriously. I love it that I have funny kids, it SO makes up for their horrible report cards.

Ok, back to the office party. The plan was that we'd put the houses in the middle of each of the eight tables and then put a sticker under one chair at each table. While giving his holiday speech, hubby was going to tell everyone that we had made the houses, then have people look under their table for the sticker to see who got to take the one from their table home. Fun, huh?

Right before giving his speech, the temporary services admin assistant (who has proven herself to be a complete imbecile on more than one occasion) came up to him and told him not to say anything about the houses and wouldn't tell him the reason. She was so insistant and flustered that hubby decided to keep his yapper shut about it. He just didn't want to deal with her lunacy right then. He gets enough of that at home.

BJ had to leave early for a previous engagement (involving three words: Texas + hold + 'em), and of course I left with him. We left before anything was mentioned about the houses, so I was robbed of the fun of hearing everyone chuckle about the fact that their boss had made these houses. Frankly, I'm mad. The whole time I was making them, I got a lot of joy out of the idea of hearing everyone's reaction. I feel like a spoiled brat because I just can't seem to get over it. I want to stomp my foot and call her bad names.

I think the only thing that will help is if I hear him say, "Off with her head!" ....and then get to witness it.