Back to square two on the fankle, which is depressing to say the least. No weight-bearing stuff (even walking) until we can keep my ankle in place and the tendon cools its jets.

My ankle pops out of place and locks within an hour from the time I leave her office and takes about ½ hour of manipulation before she can get it back in place when I see her next. Not walking has really cut down on the pain, but that can't be a long-term thing. I'm S.I.C.K. of gaining weight and I really can't eat less than I do. I'm taking two multivitamins a day and have a whey protein shake (made with almond milk) to make up for the lack of nutrition so my diet doesn't wreak havoc on my body.

Most of the manipulation doesn’t hurt because now my PT knows exactly what she needs to do now. She massages it until it’s warmed up and then pops it in place. It feels REALLY GOOD as soon as it pops and then suddenly my ankle can move. It’s the strangest thing. I imagine that it’s like when a chiropractor pulls on someone’s head to pop their neck into place. She told me that it’s not the same thing, but that’s the closest I can get to describing it.

My PT told me last night that she's not going to let this go on long before sending me back to the surgeon to see about repairing the tendon. The surgeon told me that could be a possibility early on, so I sort of expected this because I'm *that* person (if there's a side-effect, I get it. If there's a weird genetic thing to explain what's going on with my health, I have it... Need I say more?) I still have hope that there is something else we can do because quite frankly, I’m sick of surgery and I don’t have time for it.

To think this all started back in May of 2009 is crazy. Breaking a bone that didn't belong in the first place because I fainted in high heels. Come on, who else could tell THAT story, right?

(thank goodness I have a GREAT sense of humor)

If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?
~Rumi

I've been in physical therapy for over a month now @ 3x a week. In the beginning it was easy and I thought, "hey, this isn't so bad". I was mainly doing stretches and sitting down exercises, along with massage and stuff. Boy, I had no idea what I was in for.

This is what I'm now doing 3x a week (not including what I do at home):

• Treadmill for 15 minutes at a 10% incline


• 30 lunges on each leg (well, I’m supposed to do 30, but I’m only up to 25 before my legs give out on me…)


• 6 sets of 30 seconds balancing on my ‘bad’ foot on foam rubber


• 6 sets of 30 seconds balancing on my ‘bad’ foot on a shuttle balance.


• 30 of back and forth, side by side, and around clockwise and counterclockwise balancing on my "bad" foot on a BAPS board.


• 60 heel stretches (tippy toes up and down)


• 90 jumps off a shuttle machine. I lie down and push off with my feet and land on my feet. It has bungee cords or something like that to make it more work. That one really works my lower abs too. BONUS!


• 90 heel stretches on the same machine


• 60 steps up on a 6” box


• 60 steps down on the same box


• 60 dance routine (that’s what I call it because I'm going up and down sideways each way and back and forth) on the same box


• ½ hour of fankle manipulation and massage (sometimes feels good, sometimes not)


• 20 minutes of electrical stimulation therapy with ice


• 15 minutes of ultrasound therapy to get the swelling down


• Annndddddd…. stretching

Now that I'm walking without a boot, my ankle has been popping out of place (think of having no muscular support for 50 years because I've had a bone holding my ankle in place), so that's not fun. My PT has to manipulate it back in place. It's happened twice this week. Before being popped into place, I'd give it a good 6-7 on the pain scale, and that makes me crabby.

The bonus is that I'm starting to lose the weight I've put on since this ordeal. I put it on in two chunks; before the first surgery in May 2010 because I couldn't walk without pain. I only lost about 10 lbs of that before getting back into the cycle of staying off my foot prior to the surgery in December. I've gone from a size 8-10 to a size 14 in the past 2 years thanks to lack of exercise. I've been able to keep my calories at or under 800, but that's not helped much.

...just another goal I need to work on. Working out at PT will help with that, for sure. After that, I'm on my own but I don't expect I'll be done with PT until at least May.

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.
~ Buddha

This resonates with me. Some of it is similar to the teachings of the church I grew up in, and some of it addresses my own personal belief system. It's interesting to live with an Athiest because even though the hubs would never make fun of my beliefs, a discussion about this stuff would never be very fruitful or fun for me. I always hear, "well, I hope you're right" (funny guy!) I'm glad I have a place to write this stuff out and keep it for future reading. I don't mind having a discussion amongst me, myself and I. I do it all the time. Ha!

Every Sunday morning, in a place beyond the beyond, the place commonly called heaven, the Creator, known to all as God, hosts a weekly Sunday brunch. The guests are all of the souls becoming. For the souls becoming, the Sunday brunch is a really big thing. Besides the tasty dishes and the live music that God provides, this is where the souls becoming sign up to live human lives on earth.

A soul becoming is the true essence at the center of every human being. It is the spark of divinity that keeps all human beings connected to God. At the divinely appointed time, a soul becoming takes on a life assignment - a life- and agrees to become a living demonstration of the nature of God in human form. Within its life assignment, the soul becoming will encounter one or more learning agreements to help it become a stronger and wiser being, more useful and pleasing to God. At the Sunday morning brunch, God provides details on the latest life assignments available. A soul can choose to stay in heaven with God or sign up for a life on earth.....

....The air is filled with anticipation as the souls becoming wait to find out if there are assignments suited to the skills they have and the lessons they still need to learn. Every life assignment provides a soul with the opportunity to shine in the world, and all souls love to shine. It is for this reason that some souls are recycled through many life assignments. These are known as advanced souls, and they get to stand at the front of the brunch line. They also get the best courtyard seats. It's not that God has favorites, oh no! God loves every soul in the same measure. It's just that an advanced soul has learned a lot about life and is eager for the opportunity to learn more. An advanced soul knows that life can be a joyful process. An advanced soul also knows that if it is to experience joy in a life assignment, it must learn and live the truth: God's truth that is buried alive in each and every soul. Once a soul becomes a being, the truth has a way of becoming very elusive.......

.....in a personal consultation, the soul becoming is imprinted by God with specific instructions about the gifts required to shine brightly in the state of being human. God also whispers in the soul's ear about the particular principles it must master and the skills it must perfect to joyfully navigate through the process ahead. The principles, God cautions, will be revealed in a variety of ways, not always obvious. Recognizing them is absolutely essential to living a fulfilling life, a life that pleases God. Before the consultation ends, each soul is blessed with God's love and instructed to use it in every situation it encounters.

~Iyanla Vanzant

I believe I was one of the souls who chose to endure many things in order to perfect my being (or as written in an earlier post, to smooth out my rough parts.) Too bad I'm so hard headed and stubborn. If I had a mulligan, I'd leave "stubbornness" in the box of traits we could take on as a human being. It makes for a long learning experience. Thankfully, when I recognize a learning and growing experience I dive in with both feet. Hopefully that shortens up the process and makes up for the time I lost in being stubborn.