Last night the hubs and I went to watch stock car races.

I'll wait while you pick yourself up off the floor.

Casey helped build a race car and this was its maiden voyage. This is Casey doing some last minute futzing with the car:



I wasn't forewarned that I'd be the only female supporting the team. The testosterone overload was dizzying.

Being the only female in the group meant that I was the only one with a purse. Therefore I became the beer mule.



I don't even drink beer. At one point I was filming the races and one of the guys asked me for a beer. I forgot that I was filming (Alzheimer's home, STAT!) and actually filmed the transaction. I think I'd better keep my day job. Or perhaps take up knitting. It was so cold last night that at one point one of the guys offered someone $500.00 for their blanket.

I actually had fun. My favorite was the race I incorrectly called "crazy eights". It was crazy and they were going in figure eights, so I think that's what this race would be named if I ruled NASCAR. I think ruling NASCAR will have to wait until I lose a few teeth, based on the surrounding crowd. As a hint, take a look at the advertisement... what kind of crowd do you think they're marketing to?

I think I mentioned that I was a panelist for a group of new volunteers last week, right? I was asked to speak about my experiences as a volunteer and answer any questions they might have such as:

• "Are you ever afraid?" - - Yes, many times. My way of dealing with the fear is to tell myself that if I'm not meant to be there at that moment, then something would have kept me from that appointment; or when making calls, the person on the other end won't pick up the phone if they're not up to talking.


• "How do you keep from crying?" - - I tell myself that if I cry, that puts the other person in the position of feeling like they need to comfort me. I'm there to comfort them. That usually nips it in the bud.


• "How do you keep from getting too attached?" - - I don't stop myself from feeling love for these people, but I do set boundaries for myself.

I'm doing lots of fun things for this Hospice organization, including trying to bring them into this century when it comes to technology. I'm looking forward to speaking for the Hospice Ambassador program and also looking forward to my next Story-catching assignment. My coordinator told me that I have to wait my turn because there are other volunteers who want to do it too. Meh. Next week I'm going to be on a panel of Story-catchers to share my experiences. That's going to be fun. It'll also be interesting to pull something out of my last experience that I can share in public. This guy was so much fun- but did have some very 'naughty' stories for an 85 year old man!

I received a note in the mail yesterday. I wanted to put it here so I have it to read back on when I'm feeling like I'm not doing enough.

Dear Lori,
Thank you for the beautiful description of your hospice work on Sunday to our new volunteers. The breadth and depth of your experience with Hospice is unsurpassed.

Your energy and JOY in doing this work were really uplifting to the new volunteers. What a delight it is to have you back "home" with [name of Hospice organization].

I feel so supported by you as well with all of your good ideas and willingness to share your expertise, technology know-how and positive spirit with us in improving and evolving our program.

I appreciate your time Sunday and all you do to make our program wonderful.

I *love* what I do with Hospice, and never feel that I'm doing enough. I always want to do MORE. I feel energized with each and every assignment, and that tells me that I'm supposed to be there. Yesterday we had lunch with our investments manager and I mentioned that I was on my way to Hospice House after lunch. He then shared that he's on the board of trustees for another Hospice organization. You couldn't get me to shut up about Hospice. I loved it that it turned from talking about money (one of my least favorite topics because money is not my thing...) to Hospice.

I feel like Hospice is home for me.

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."
~Stephen Covey

and

"What if we lived our lives with a deeper and more conscious awareness of the fact that we get to create our experience of life at any moment? Imagine what our lives, our careers and our relationships would look like if we stopped blaming our experience on other people or on external circumstances."
~ Mike Robbins

I would like to expound on the second quote a bit though. I am not in the habit of blaming my experiences on other people or external circumstances, but I *do* acknowledge them because they have put me in the exact place I am today, and for that I'm grateful. Someone else might say, "I lost my job and so I'm doomed". I said, "Hey, I lost my job and that gave me the kick in the butt I needed to start my own business." It's all about how you look at it and it's ALL about having a positive attitude and imagining where you want to be. I'm sure Pollyanna can be annoying at times, but I like her me just as I am.

Ever since discovering Facebook, I'm horrible about blogging. Most of my family is NOT on Facebook, so they're left out in the cold wondering if I'm dead or alive (well, not really... I'm just being dramatic.)

BJ's decided to hang up his self-employed hat and go back to working for 'da man. On the plus side, we won't have to go hunting for health insurance that isn't a million dollars a month. On the down side, he won't be able to go golfing in the middle of the week with the rest of the retirees. One of the companies he was contracting to wasn't doing as well as he had hoped. The other company he was contracted to was doing GREAT- so he decided to just go to work full time for them. He's known these guys for eons, so he's going to have a great time there.

My contract with "Big Fish" has again been extended. Now I'm contracted through the end of the year. They're starting to talk about next year as well, so I think this might end up being a permanent gig as long as I keep doing good work. The other big fish absolutely loved the first draft of the training I created for them and said that there will be more contracts coming my way (squee!) I'm turning in the edited version on Monday and hopefully HR and Legal will sign off on it so I can move on to the French version (yippee! I'm international!)

I'm still debating putting more effort into marketing myself. I'm really enjoying the schedule of having one 'permanent' contract and then one supplemental every once in a while. I've made a name for myself, so people are coming to me with repeat projects. It's ended up that I have had a constant project between the other three customers I work with, in addition to constant stream of projects from "Big Fish". One ends, and another seems to magically appear. I know I could grow my business as large as I want, and the only reason I'd do that is to provide a good paying job for the boys. I really wrestle with that. It just doesn't feel comfortable to me to do that right now. I think if I lived closer to the boys (which could happen if BJ's job goes in the direction he thinks it will), I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I think that catches us up on the job-front. Not much going on personally except that I'm FINALLY feeling better after an almost two week run of the flu. Unfortunately, having a fever for so long has caused a nasty case of fever blisters and there's NO way I'm going out in public like this. Seriously, I look like a leper and no amount of cabin fever is going to force me out in public. Poor Einstein will have to wait a few more days before he gets to go to the puppy park. Meh.