BJ and I went to the grocery store last night in preparation for the X-box extravaganza. I wanted to make a shopping list on my PDA (I have a groovy little shopping program.. I *heart* it very much), but he said that wasn't necessary. BJ and I shop very differently. First I must make a menu, then I make the grocery list. Now before you think I'm over-the-edge neurotic, I'll admit that I do stray from the list while I'm at the store. If it's on sale.

BJ, on the other hand, shops like a bachelor. Seeing as he's been a bachelor for the past few years, I understand that some habits die hard. He just likes to go up every aisle and throw things in that look good. So, last night we went shopping bachelor style.

First was the beer aisle. There were just so many choices. Rows and rows of beer.

I saw these cool Barbie plates and tried to sneak them in the basket, but he found them, dammit! I think the guys would have appreciated having something girlie at the X-box extravaganza.

All in all, it was a fairly quick shopping trip. We only had to go down the beer, soda, meat products, cheese, and chips aisle. There was no produce to be found in the shopping cart. Zip. Nada.

And this, my friends, is what
$242.00 of boy groceries looks like:

Like I said in a previous post, I am getting the heck out of Dodge during the testosterone laden X-box extravaganza. Instead, I'm going to go hang out with sis. The day will include shopping (something I really dislike ESPECIALLY during the holiday season), lunch, and dinner, topped off with staying the night in a swanky hotel downtown. I'm pretty sure alcohol will be involved at some point. My sis is a lush. Ha! Just kidding Sis (no really, she is..)

Yippee! A slumber party with my sis! I guarantee you, when the two of us are together for any length of time, much less over a 24 hour period, there will be plenty of stuff to write about. We're trouble makers and have no problem looking like a couple of fools just so we can have a good laugh about it. My camera phone will be in the locked and ready position.

Now, for the guys that read my post. Get your mind out of the gutter. This slumber party will not include pillow fights in babydoll nighties.

...but we might jump on the beds.

Hey, if you have time, go read Jay-B's blog. Tell him I sent you. He's the funniest kid I've run across in a long time. Even funnier than my own.. sigh.

I decided to bump up his status to adoptable after I read this comment. As my grannie would say, "What a NICE boy."

He just got nominated by me for the best new blog award in the BOB awards. Good luck kiddo...

While on the topic, I nominated my favorite blog in the snarky category. ASB is a great read, and I live vicariously through her snarkiness.

Go vote for my pals, will ya?

You saw it here folks. I like geeks, and that's why I like hubby. He's having an X-box party on Saturday, and I don't mean just a couple of guys getting together for a couple of hours to play games. No, this is a 12 hour event involving LOTS of guys, LOTS of X-boxes networked together and LOTS of AV equipment. Oh, and lots of booze for sure. There will be so much testosterone in the house that I will be leaving town for fear of growing chest hair and a beard. Here's a snippet of an email that he sent the guys today:

This is going to be great. FOUR (count ˜em: FOUR!) big screen projectors, six X-boxes, capability for three-team action, air conditioning, wireless remotes, ah, Ah, AGHH!!! (gorilla noises).

Off the AP-Wire: There was a brown-out today in the small town of [Insert our city and state here] when a massive drain on available electrical power was caused by imported gaming, projection, and stereo devices reaching a simultaneous peak during a Halo2 game of team slayer. The frag-fest drew all available power from the small community, except emergency medical support at the local State School facility. Searching for the cause of the power drain,local police accidentally raided the dwelling of the gamers after hearing cries of hey, you killed Kenny, you bastards! and stop shooting me, I'm dead already! The errant cops then stayed on to draw top honors at the next game of Capture The Flag with human-only weapons and all vehicles.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must go have a cold shower.

It's not physical pain though, it's the other kind. The kind I get while sitting in my hairdressers chair, just not as much.

My dentist is just fine. He's gentle, really nice and he's easy on the eyes. It's his receptionist/assistant that sends me spiraling to hell. She's in her late 60's I'm guessing. She's also his mother, so she's not going anywhere anytime soon. He took over the business from his dad, but dad still hangs around. He's pretty cute the way he shuffles around the office with his suit jacket buttoned askew. I don't think I've ever been there and seen his buttons in the right button holes. And he really does shuffle. Kind of a night of the living dead sort of thing. His job, now that he's retired and all, is to ask you if you need a parking stamp. Oh, and he brings the x-rays from the dark room to my dentist.

"Mom" still wears a beehive, but it never looks like she's fresh from the beauty shop. It's a do-it-yourself beehive, complete with the little curls in front of her ears that require wearing hair tape the night before. She has completely drawn on thick eyebrows, and she also never really gets her eyeliner on straight so when she's in your face it can get kind of scary.

But these aren't the things that annoy me. So, what is it that bothers me about this woman you may be wondering. Two things. She asks me questions that require more than a yes or no answer while I have all kinds of dental paraphernalia in my mouth. The second and most annoying thing is her jokes. She tells the same ones EVERY time I go there. They are jokes that maybe a six year old would like. She'll tell them, then stand right up in your face and look all excited that she pulled one over on you while saying, "do you get it? do you get it?"

I play the game because I'm a nice girl. I pretend to never have heard the joke before and do my best to laugh and not roll my eyes. Here are two of my favorites. I share them with you because I know you're just dying to hear them.

Joke 1:
Dentist's Mom (DM): Why is eight afraid of seven?
Me: (thinking I can't believe I hear this one every.time.I.go.to.the.dentist. but I'll play along) I don't know. Why?
DM: Because seven ate (eight) nine.
DM: Do you get it? Do you get it, huh?

Joke 2:
DM: How many reindeers does Santa have?
Me: Ummmm, eight?
DM:Are you including Rudolf?
Me: Oh, ok, nine
DM: No, there are 10.
Me: Oh (thinking here we go again.....)
DM: Do you know how I know?
Me: (thinking, please just tell the freakin' joke already and get this over with...)
DM: Because there was a reindeer named Olive. Think about it!

Then she sings the Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer song and emphasises "Olive (all of) the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names..."

DM: (Laughing as if this is the first time she's heard this joke, much less told it. ) Isn't that funny? Did you get it? Did you get it, huh?
Me: Oh, that's a good one!

But I go back because as painful as it is for me, I can't imagine how my dentist lives through it day after day after day after day (just imagine that to infinity.) Sometimes he lets comments slip that make me giggle. Comments that assure me that I'm not the only one who is feeling pain in the dentist's office. So, I go there to support another person whose mother drives them insane.

My dentist is a saint.