Family

Dad, I have a few things I need to get off my chest.

I was thinking the other day about all of the responsibility that you took on when you married Mom. You were the the same age as my oldest son is now, and you married a woman with two children. Two children who needed you very badly in their lives.

I can only imagine how scary and overwhelming that must have been for you. I look at the wedding pictures of you and Mom and I see a kid. But you were a kid who was willing to step in and take the place of my father; a man I've never met. Even though I was only five at the time, I remember how excited I was that I could call you "Daddy" after the wedding. I'd practiced all kinds of names in my head; eventually the name evolved into "Dad".

I remember when Mom wanted you to be the one to spank me for something that I'd done wrong, and then she went to the store. She knew that being punished by you would hurt me worse than anything she could ever do. When we were alone, you told me you didn't want to spank me, that you wanted to just discuss the situation, and that we were to keep that our little secret. You were willing to keep your end of the bargain when Mom came home and asked, but like George Washington, I couldn't tell a lie. I got that spanking anyway. The important thing was that I received a good lesson in parenting. Thank you. My kids thank you too.

I also thank you for bringing the most wonderful woman into my life. Your Aunt. She was my safety net, and though not related by blood, she stood by me through thick and thin. When I hear the song, "You Raise Me Up", I think of her even though I know it's supposed to be a song about God. She made me feel that I was a good person, and had value. She gave me complete unconditional love, something I'd not experienced before. Thank you for giving me a lifeline.

I remember when "we" adopted sis when I was nine. I felt like it was the end of something special that I had all of my own. Up until then, I was your little girl. I remember not wanting to come from school that day. I think I dawdled for at least a half an hour before coming home to see my new sister. Now I realize that was the best day of my life. I can't imagine my life without sis. Thank you for giving me my sister; my best friend.

Dad, I've never felt that I was anything less than your daughter. I don't know if you understand the magnitude of that statement. I know that we don't see eye-to-eye on religious and political issues, yet I know that you still love me. Thank you.

So Dad, I'll be thinking about these things when we go around the table at Thanksgiving and say the things we're grateful for. Even if I don't say it.

My sis and I got together on Saturday for food, general teasing of son number 2 (Casey), manicures and shopping. The food was great, teasing Casey was fun. The manicures? Well, that was a bit scary. My manicurist (is that what they're called?) had warts on her hands and she left me with a few open cuticles so now I'm on wart watch. I've never had one, and don't plan to start now...

Casey gave us an update on the saga, with more details than Mommy wanted to know. You'll be happy to learn that I was right on how Cameron would take the whole thing. It was his get out of jail free card and Casey got out of the whole thing unscathed.

Last, we went to the mall. We'd just left Victoria's Secret and heard a payphone ringing. I dared my sis to answer it and say (in a strange voice), "Whattup Bitch?"



That must have stunned the person on the other end into silence.

Then another phone in that kiosk started ringing. So again, my sis answered it the same way.

Eventually, it went all the way around the kiosk, and all phones were answered properly.



Sometimes my sis would ad lib, but mainly kept to the script that was provided to her.

It occured to me that if we didn't have some place to go, and our feet weren't hurting, we could have been kept busy for hours.

.....because we're like that you know.

I got a call from my youngest son (he's 21) last night. The one who had the pen cap surgically removed. After that phone call, I'm wondering if part of his brain was removed too.

The phone call starts innocently enough; the "how are you" and "I'm fine" stuff. "Yeah, work is going well, blah blah blah". Then this; "Mom, I feel really bad about something."

At the speed of light, I'm flashing thoughts in my head; "he hit a dog with his car", "he lost his job", "he got another pen cap stuck up his nose". I was prepared for any of it. I wasn't prepared for the following conversation.

Casey (son #2): Do you know if Cameron (son #1) and Camerong (son#1's girlfriend) are broken up?
Me: Well, Cameron did call me a couple of nights ago and told me that he's thinking about it. But, that's not for me to tell you. You should ask him. Why do you want to know? (thinking, that's why he feels really bad. He's sad that Cameron and Camerong aren't doing well... how sweet!)
Casey: Well something happened between me and Camerong last night.
Me: (thinking uh- oh.... I'm not liking where this is headed...)
Me: What do you mean sweet boy? (yeah, that's what mommy calls him... get over it.)
Casey: Well, without going into detail; alcohol, hot tubs, and Camerong was involved. Oh, and she had her top off. I feel really bad.
Me: Am I to assume that you were involved in this scenario somehow? (still trying to keep Casey innocent in my mind.)
Casey: Yes. We were kissing and stuff. I feel really bad, and I think Cameron is going to beat the crap out of me.
Me: (thinking about how maybe she wasn't so wrong afterall with her initial and subsequent impressions of Camerong)
Me: I think you'd better fess up to your brother.
Casey: I'm just waiting for the right time.
Me: (snickering to herself... good luck in that one, sweetie pie...)

I'm not overly concerned that Cameron is going to be too upset with Casey. They're best friends. Casey happens to have a habit of collecting Cameron's ex-girlfriends. Kinda gross if you ask me. Cameron was telling me a couple of nights ago that he's not sure he wants to be with Camerong anymore and feels really guilty about it. I'm thinking this is a "get out of jail free" card.

I wanted to tell Casey to save the drama for his mama, but......

I was watching baseball (ok, I wasn't really watching, I really dislike sports...) and was reminded of a story about my youngest son. This happened when he was about 7 and playing in little league, which was 14 years ago.

I had taken him to the doctor for yet another infection of some sort. He'd been plagued with sinus, eye and lung infections from the time he was about two. He also had lots of headaches and HORRIBLE, NASTY breath. During this visit, the doctor was looking up his nose and said that he saw something up there. He got some tweezer-like instrument and started tugging on it. It wouldn't budge, plus it really was hurting my son, so he stopped and scheduled surgery for the next day.

I was not prepared for what the doctor would tell me after surgery. My son had a bic pen cap up his nose. Have you seen a bic pen cap? They're at least an inch long! Worse, it looked as if it'd been up his nose for YEARS. There I was, cradling my unconscious little 7 year old in my lap and I started laughing. I laughed so hard that tears were falling down my face. I'm sure the doctor thought I was a nutcase. But do you blame me? What kid has to go under general anesthesia to get a pen cap removed from his nose? MY KID, that's who!

His older brother then remembered the day that said pen cap went up the nose. They went to work with their dad and were messing around. My youngest was probably almost three. He shoved it up his nose so far that he couldn't get it out, and they were both afraid to tell their dad for fear of getting in trouble.

So, the thing worked its way up into his sinus cavity, causing all the infections and bad breath over those 5 years. FIVE YEARS! It took being beaned by a softball in his nose that brought the thing down far enough for the doctor to see it. Interestingly enough, all the infections (and bad breath) stopped immediately once the cap was removed.

The doctor kept that pen cap for his museum of things he's removed from people's orifices, and I kept the memory of the surprised look from my son's doctor as I was laughing hysterically in the recovery room.

This is a very public letter to my brother; the most recent addition to my blog viewers.

I've been thinking about why I was so prompted to call you on Tuesday evening. I told you the weird circumstances that lead up to it, and why sis and I thought *it* happened. I was glad to hear that you were all right. Well, physically anyway.

When you called me Wednesday after reading my blog for the first time, the reason for needing to call you seemed much more clear to me. You sounded so light hearted when we talked on Wednesday; vastly different than the brother I talked to on Tuesday. You told me that you were laughing out loud while reading some of my posts. Perhaps that prompting to call you wasn't any national emergency, but just the fact that I needed to send a little laughter your way.

You've shared with me before that I always know how to make you laugh. I'm so glad. You and "sis" are two people that I'd do anything for. You're my heart. You both are. If you ever feel alone, just know that you're very special to me. You and sis, my first loves,..... my family.

Now... back to my regularly scheduled blogging...