Family

The cardiologist decided that they wanted to keep BJ one more day, so he didn't get to come home today as planned. It's almost a sure thing that he'll be leaving the hospital tomorrow. At least that's how it looked when I left.

I was feeling pretty gross and, I'll admit it, worn out by the end of the day today. I think the adrenaline is leaving my body and now I'm starting to feel the punishment of the uncomfortable chairs and my sleeping position the last two nights. We won't even go into the worry and stress we've been under since Sunday morning. Today was the first day that I really knew for sure that BJ was going to be OK. He's himself today and that makes me tremendously happy.

We had to learn how to give him shots today until the drugs he's prescribed are at their ultimate level. It sounds like he's going to be taking almost as many drugs as me. From what I can count, he's going to be on four different drugs- presumably for life.

I knew we'd grow old together- I just didn't think it would be this soon.

BJ insisted that I go home and sleep tonight, maybe less out of feeling sorry for me and more that he wanted to sleep without worrying about me wandering the halls naked or something. You never know what I'm going to do on my nightly cocktail of drugs.

So, I'm home. I immediately hit the shower and boy did THAT feel good. Now I'm kind of sitting back and revisiting the past few days. WHAT.A.RIDE. this has been.

My kids taught me something today. They taught me that they're here to support us, just as much as we're here to support them. I have this habit of waiting until there's good news before I give the bad news to people. Of course, if I knew there would never be good news, then I'd share the bad. Jess (my daughter-in-law) told me that I need to call them whenever anything happens, no matter how small and she's speaking for all of them (my sons and the wonderful women they're with). She's right. I'd certainly want to support any one of them if something happened, no matter how small. What happened to BJ is not small and I didn't share that information directly.

I truly need to learn to allow other people in with the bad as well as the good. Thank you Jess you are 100% right, and I'm going to try to break my bad habits.

I came home to see flowers on our doorstep to BJ "from your family". I know exactly who that is. Cameron, Kathy, Casey, Jessica and Riley? I have a feeling that when BJ sees that card with the words, "your family"- he's going to get teary-eyed. "We" have the best kids (all of them) anybody could ever imagine.

In fact? We have the best LIFE I could ever imagine. This could have been so much worse, but he's going to be OK and that's all that matters.

Heidi is going to start the 100-day raw food challenge on August 1st. While I totally support Heidi and Sam in their raw food lifestyle, it's not something I feel is right for me. I can, however, improve my eating habits and so I might as well start that improvement in support of my sis.

So, here's MY plan:
Over the period of 100 days, I plan on eating no processed sugar, drinking more water, and exercising at least 5x a week. Now we all know that trying to introduce 3 habits at the same time is a bad idea, so it's going to go like so...

August 1st- August 31st: No processed sugar, including anything that has sugar (or a derivative) in the first 5 ingredients of the label. I will also not eat any white carbs (bread, potatoes, rice, etc.)

September 1st- September 30th: Continue with no processed sugar, and add at least 90 oz of water every day.

October 1st- the end of the 100 days: Continue with no processed sugar, continue with 90 oz of water every day and add exercise for 30 minutes at least 5x a week.

I'll post my weight loss stats here once a week, as well as hold myself accountable to my goals. I'll let you know if I cheat. I promise.

My ultimate weight loss goal is 35 lbs., but I don't plan on losing all of that in the 100 days.

So, wish us (Heidi and I) luck!

OK, first things first. I'm alive and well.

Second things second, the wedding was absolutely lovely and perfect. Everyone (especially Jessica) looked beautiful.

Third things third, family and friends- I know you're chomping at the bit for details and pictures. I hope to have that done by tomorrow night. I'm busy editing over 1000 photos, over twenty videos, and trying to put a hardbound book of the wedding together for the newlyweds. I also want to put together a really cool video of bits and pieces of the wedding pictures and videos; all of which before they come back from their honeymoon.

Lastly, I just want to say that I'm so darned proud of the job Jessica did. That girl knows how to organize. Casey did very well.

I'll leave you with the toast that Cameron gave, because he couldn't have said it any better. I asked him to give me his notes so I could put it in their wedding book:

I would like to start by thanking everyone who helped with the wedding.

What an amazing day....

For me, it's a little strange. I'm gaining a sister and nephew, but I feel like I'm losing my brother. It's such a mix of emotions. Happiness, joy.... (big pause) relief. In all seriousness, I know I'm not losing Casey but it is wild to think of my brother as a married man and a father.

Oh how things have changed. It seems like only yesterday we were convinced that there was no one person in this world that we despised more than each other. We probably drove our parents crazy. But now Casey is my best friend and I would do anything for him. Who could have imagined.

Jessica, I can't think of any one who is more perfect for Casey than you. For starters, he eats real food now. Not just hot dogs and pizza. You bring balance to Casey's life. You seem to always be prepared for everything from dinner to camping. All the details are handled but you are never stressed out.

I've never seen Casey happier. As his brother, I can see that he was meant for this role as husband to Jessica and father to Riley.

So, the three of you we toast.

Congratulations and the best of wishes in your lives together.

Welcome to our crazy family Jessica and Riley. If I may be so bold, it looks like you two fit right in


I can't imagine our lives without the two of you, and I'm positive that Casey's life is enriched because of this union of families.

Congratulations Jessica, Casey and Riley!

I attended Jessica's bridal shower yesterday and was a wee bit intimidated by the idea that Casey and Cameron's step-mother was going to be there. I've *NEVER* met her, and have only seen her once from afar. That was something like 12 years ago (or more!).

During that time, I've made fun of her mullet and thought that she was a complete ogre. To be honest, she really did pull some awful things when the boys were little and I'm like a mama bear. On the other hand, everything I knew about her (including the awful things) was third party information from HER STEPSONS. Clue one, Lori.

Turns out? She's really nice and she does NOT have a mullet. Those boys have no idea what a mullet is. Admittedly, her hair is still kind of stuck in the 80's but it is not a mullet so her style score went up a couple of points. She didn't get style points for the way she dressed, but maybe it was an off day for her (meow). Really, I feel HORRIBLE about the way I've thought about her all these years. I've been catty with the boys about her and now I see that I was all wrong.

I can't say that I was 100% comfortable and wanted to say, "Hey, let's be best friends" but it was a heckuva lot easier than I'd imagined. I actually could picture being friends with her and now have ideas in my head of having family stuff and inviting them (step-mom and ex-husband) over. How crazy is that?

About the shower. Ahem...

There was a quiz inside the napkins about very intimate details that we had to guess about Casey and Jessica. I'm not EVEN going to share the questions and answers with you, but will say that there are just some things a mom just doesn't want to know. I think I turned pretty much every shade of red during those two hours, but really had fun.

I know I really need to let this one go, but y'all know how I like to obsess about things. I feel that I owe an apology to the boys for being so ugly about her and perhaps putting them in a bad position to take sides.

Yup, I'm going to do that and then try really, really hard to let it go.

Reason two for beating myself up. I found the ugly jealous side of me coming out when she was talking to "MY" girls. I could see that they had a nice relationship and it made me horribly jealous.

Good grief. Of course I want her to be nice to them, I just had never pictured it in my head. Don't even get me started about how I felt when I heard how great the ex and his wife were with Riley. What? I thought *I* was the only one in his universe (besides his grandma).

Wow- I have a lot of work to do in the 'sharing' department. I've said it before, I can be like a two year old. I just had no idea that I'd be this way when it comes to sharing "MY" family. Sheesh.

I guess I have a few new goals to work on, eh?

I woke up with a migraine last night and couldn't make it stop- so finally took the good stuff. Unfortunately, the good stuff caused me to turn off my alarm this morning and sleep until 8:30 on a day when I should be in the office by 7am.



I guess it was a good thing that I didn't try to go in. Noise is not my friend today. I just told my management chain that I was working from home today. Ya know- I'm awfully lucky in that regard. I never leave the office without my trusty laptop and files.

I talked to my brother, Michael today. He's coming for the wedding (NINE DAYS, people, until Casey and Jessica tie the knot!). I'm beside myself with excitement. He's one of those people that I never tire of. Same for my sis. Hmmm... could it be because we were all raised in the same house and got used to living together? We were laughing about how much we hated (and I mean HATE) each other in our high school years. He said that he even went to a different high school because he hated me so much. And now, look at us. I adore that guy. Just like this, only his head is too big to gnaw on now:



My dad has been trying to zen me out a little. His last email cracked me up (as they tend to do...)

Hi Lori,

Think garden. That is my modification of [my great aunt's name] "think".

Even a few minutes a day will do wonders to your stress. It really helps me.

It is like yoga for the city folks.

Love
Dad

Geez, this post is going all over the place. Talk about thinking out loud. Is anyone still there? All I hear is a bunch of snoring....



OH geez, BJ just called and one of his friends wants to drop by in an hour. I'm not even dressed (no makeup or hair) and I won't even go into how the house looks.

Garden.... garden..... garden....

(It's not working, Dad)