Dreams/Nightmares

Last night was CRAZY dream night. Wanna hear about it? SURE you do!

In one dream, I was the nanny for Suri Cruise. This dream seemed to go on for hours and hours because of all the detail. The highlights include the fact that she kept turning into a baby chick- but Tom and Katie were unaware. I seemed to be the only one that could see that she was a fluffy yellow chick (a HUGE fluffy yellow chick with diapers, by the way). At one point the dream got very stressful because I had her on the couch next to me and the bearded eye-roller sat on her- breaking one of her wings. I had to try to convince Katie that Suri needed to go to a veterinarian, not a pediatrician.

Let's analyze.... I've had dreams about Suri Cruise before and have to wonder what this lil' obsession is about. I think she's freakin' adorable, but aside from that, I don't give her much thought in my waking hours.

In other Tom Cruise dreams of the evening...
I was at the horse racing track with Tom Cruise (who was my employer in this dream, but nothing to do with nanny services) and one of my former managers. I told Tom that with the exception of looks, he was JUST LIKE the bearded eye-roller and I often got them confused. He just laughed and walked off to place his bets. I felt really stupid for having told him that because my former manager (not most recent former, by the way) told me I looked like I was a totally kissing-up to him.

Let's analyze.... I think this one might stem from spending so much time with our division executive lately. He's VERY charismatic (charming, even!) almost in a Tom Cruise way. I do fear that I might look like I’m kissing up sometimes because I’m truly a big fan of his and I’m sure it’s obvious that I like his style. I’m never quiet about things I appreciate. For the record, BER is nothing like Tom Cruise (or the division executive) in personality OR looks. I like it that way.

Lessee.... then there was the dream that I'd joined weight watchers and decided to use ALL my points for the week on a huge piece of chocolate cake. BER was really angry that I would spend my valuable WW points for such a stupid thing.

Let's analyze... BER doesn't give me ANY grief over anything that I eat (or don't eat). I could see myself using up all my points for the week to eat a luscious piece of chocolate cake though. There's always next week, right?

Now we'll talk about fun stuff I was doing in my sleep last night.

At one point I was sitting up in bed running my fingers through my hair (more like I was 'fake' shampooing) and sort of woke up. I say 'sort of' because I remember questioning myself if excessively running my fingers through my hair was normal, or should I stop and go back to sleep. In my infinite wisdom, I decided that it was normal so continued with messing up my hair. You should have seen my bouffant of a hair-do this morning. Seriously BIG HAIR.

The bearded eye-roller said that I woke him up because I was making so much noise tapping my teeth together. He said that it sounded like one of those wind up teeth toys and it took him a while to figure out where the noise was coming from.

::points to person who is afraid to go to the dentist because she probably has VERY scary looking teeth about now::

Nope- those drugs aren't doing a darned thing for me. No sleep study scheduled yet. I'm tired.

In FUN news..... I'm getting my hair cut today and blond highlights (foil) put in. I'll do a Risible Visible once I get home.

I think a visual would better explain, but I'm going to give it a whirl without cameras (and lights! and makeup!).

I've been doing this VERY weird thing in my sleep for the past few weeks and the bearded eye-roller said that it's fascinating to watch.

I'm so glad I'm entertaining....

Anyhoo- picture yourself as a kid, laying on the floor watching TV. You have your head propped up in your hands, with your elbows on the floor.

That's what I'm doing. Only I'm not a kid, there is no TV and I'm not on the floor. Oh, and I'm sound asleep. I've woken up several times to find myself in this position, and- get this, my elbows and wrists are sore EVERY.SINGLE.MORNING. from this weird activity.

BER woke up one night to find me doing this and said that it went on for quite a long time. The funny (and he said interesting) part was that I'd start to fall over to the left (or right) and then I'd bring myself back to center. Several times.

Isn't that weird?

The only thing I can put my finger on is that I'm still grinding the heck out of my teeth when I'm awake (something I've been doing since the concussion), and I have to make a concerted effort to stop. I wonder if I'm doing the sleep thing to keep myself from grinding my teeth in my sleep.

I've always been quite active in my sleep when I'm under stressful situations. Sleep-walking, sleep-talking, sleep-punching.the.heck.out.of.my.ex-husband (fortunately, BER hasn't had to be the recipient of this.) And now we can add sleep-watching an invisible TV.

OK, raise your hands. Who thinks I need to be committed?

I've been waking up at about 4AM every day (well, and 12:30 and 2, etc., but finally throwing in the towel at 4AM) because of this frickity frackity workload. I can't stop thinking about the stuff that needs to be done by the end of next week and then there's nothing to do but get up and dig in. I can usually convince myself to go back to sleep if it's before 4AM, but after that, I'm wide awake.

Well, wide awake probably isn't the best way to describe it. The term "zombie" would be closer to the truth. A zombie that's able to function, but still LOOKS like a zombie.

PS- high five to Stew for this find!

Not only do I put in 12-14 hour days on my telecommute days, I come home and work after I get home from the office on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm also working the weekends (in between gardening and social obligations). I tell people that this is why I get paid the (relatively) big bucks. I doubt many people would do what I'm doing, given the circumstances.

So this morning, per usual, I started up at 4ish and then at about 6AM fell fast asleep on the couch with my trusty work laptop on my lap. The bearded eye-roller came down at about 7AM to go to work and thought that was a pretty funny sight. I'm glad he woke me up because I was having a nightmare that he was angry with me because I couldn't understand a word he was saying. He'd developed this heavy accent and was completely unintelligible. He was angry because he said that I wasn't trying hard enough to understand him.

Go ahead and analyze that one. I have NO idea what that's about because BER is one of the very few things that keeps me feeling calm, safe and relaxed right now.

Chime in on this one, if you will. I've read theories that there is a stress hormone that we produce when under a lot of stress. This hormone makes you gain weight. I can't seem to budge the scale (unless it's to go up), no matter WHAT I do. I could probably be accused of not eating enough these days, actually. I'm either too busy or too tired to care about food.

I've been staying away from sugar, exercising consistently, drinking lots of water and eating very small portions. My typical day consists of an iced americano, a protein shake (made with water, not milk) a little later in the morning; a salad with chicken or turkey in it for lunch; and a small salad and VERY small amount of meat at night (maybe 5 bites). No carbs to speak of unless it's in the form of a vegetable.

I've packed on 5 lbs in the last month and it's driving me completely insane. I've worked too hard to get this weight off and I desperately do not want to see it come back. I have too many cute clothes (tee hee).

In other news...

Last night I had a nightmare that I was being sent to jail for two weeks. The reason wasn't the same as Paris or Nichole. Rather, it was because Cameron wasn't paying his bills and parents were thrown in jail for raising such heathens.

Cameron, Mommy was VERY upset at you for disrupting her work schedule. I still had my project (yes, the one that I'm currently avoiding to write this post) to do in my dream.

Here comes the funny part. Even in my dream/nightmare state, I worry about, and prepare for stupid things. Let's get inside of Lori's dream-state brain for a moment, shall we?

• I decided to buy a REALLY big purse because they didn't allow luggage. No reason for luggage, since you had to wear jail house uniforms, right? But I still needed something to carry my toiletries (hair styling products, makeup, special shampoos, etc.) and my N800.


• I heard that you can get favors for cigarettes, so I went to Costco and bought a carton of cigarettes. I was glad I had that really big purse.


• I was worried about how on earth I was going to do my hair in jail, without a blow dryer and flattening iron. I decided to practice letting my hair dry naturally so I could find a style that would work with drying my hair naturally.


• Finally, I was concerned about the booking picture. Do I wear makeup? What if I'm upset on my way to jail (sure to happen), and I end up with mascara streaks (ala Tammy Faye- may she rest in peace) all down my face.
  
  That wouldn't make for a very pretty picture, would it now?

So yeah, there we are. If I ever have to go to jail (highly doubtful!), now you'll know what I'll be thinking about.

My mind is a scary place.

Really.

I was having a very stressful night last night. Well, dream-wise. In any case, I'm tired. I want to go home and have a nap and the day hasn't even started (I'm writing this from the train. Have I mentioned how fab my N-800 is?)

Anyhoo..

In this dream, which started out lovely, one of my blog friends asked me to watch her newborn baby for her. She doesn't have a baby in real life- but since when do my dreams make sense?

For some reason, I took this baby to an outdoor concert. At one point she (the baby) needed her diaper changed. Angela (always the fashionable one) had some sort of designer baby bag (this part *IS* important) and for some reason, I left the bag in the room where I'd changed the baby. I didn't notice that I'd forgotten it until the baby started getting hungry.

I went back to the room where I'd changed the baby and the bag was GONE. Of course it was! It was a designer bag, and probably worth a lot of money.

It was at this point that the concert venue turned into a church. (don't ask me.... I have no idea how my brain works). I started looking in every room of the church building for this bag because ::horrors:: the baby needed SPECIAL formula and started shrinking. I couldn't just go buy this formula in the store, it was specially made and in that stupid designer bag.

Really Angela, the things you put me through for the sake of fashion.....

Even though I was now in a church, there were security guards all over the place. I got them in on the action and they helped me look for the bag. They kept finding diaper bags that were similar and got me all excited, but they weren't THE bag.

This whole time, the baby kept getting smaller and smaller until it was the size of my finger. I had NO idea how I was going to break the news to Angela that I'd caused her baby to turn into Thumbilina (although that would be kinda cool- a pocket sized baby....).

Thankfully I woke up before I had to face the music.

I promise Ange- if/when you do have babies, you really CAN trust them with me. Just try to buy your diaper bags at Goodwill or something, so nobody else will want to steal it. OK?