Daily

I think that if anything weird would happen to anyone, it would be me. I'm sure y'all would agree. I do mean weird, not bad. I think that I put it 'out there' that I enjoy telling stories, so let's make sure I have something to tell. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Friday, I noticed a bump about the size of a mosquito bite on my leg. It wasn't itchy, but I suspected it was a spider bite based on how it looked. I don't remember getting bit by a spider, nor have I seen any in the house- but I was pretty sure it was a spider bite and thought nothing more of it.

By Friday night, I had a bruise about the size of a quarter around the 'bite'. It didn't hurt, so I ignored it. Yesterday, the bruise was doubled in size and it was warm to the touch. I called my resident park ranger (my brother, Michael) to wish him a happy birthday and oh, by the way, what do you know about spider bites? I described mine and he said that it sounded like a brown recluse and I should go see a doctor. I assured him that I would if it got any worse.

The muscle by the bite area started becoming painful last night and when I woke up this morning, it looked like this:


BJ insisted that we haul my leg to urgent care and get it checked out, especially after all the horror stories I read on the Internet about brown recluse spiders. The idea of flesh eating bug bites was something I didn't want to experience for myself.

The bruising is about 4 inches across and it feels like someone has kicked me in the leg. Even walking hurts. I also didn't put two and two together (I've never said I was good at math) that the headaches and nausea I've had over the weekend might have anything to do with this. For being so smart, I'm awfully dumb sometimes.

The doctor I saw said that I should take pictures and send them to my friends and family because I have bragging rights on having a very nasty spider bite. I told her I have a blog, and she can bet that I'm going to post about it and gross out all my friends.

She said that we don't have brown recluses here, and said that it looks like it might be a hobo spider (hey, maybe I got it on the train!) and it looks like it might have become infected so she hooked me up with a 10 day course of strong antibiotics. Now I need to call Michael and tell him that he was (partially) right.

Favorite co-worker usually ends up at Starbucks the same time I do before we start work in the morning, even though we come from different cities and take different transportation. Kinda weird considering that I'm usually there at 6:50 a.m., on the dot.

Anyhoo- I didn't notice that he was standing behind me in line until I saw an iPhone with a picture of the back of my head reach around my shoulder. I said, "Yay- I'm having a great hair day, and there are no hair holes!"

I had to explain the hair hole concept to him because he's an ex-military dude who still wears the high and tight. Not a chance in hell he'll ever get a hair hole with such a short hair cut.

I'll bet he never thought he'd learn something new before 7am. I'll have to start planning his next educational experience, because there's a LOT he can learn from me. The topic of hair holes is just the beginning.

First, y'all know that when I write about weird stuff that happens to me (like the previous post), I'm not really complaining- right? I'm one of those people that secretly loves it when I have funny things to write about- even if it's a wee bit uncomfortable for me while the event is happening. Seriously, it takes a helluva lot to make me miserable and I get over stuff in no time at all. So, please don't ever feel you need to tell me that everything will be OK or will get better. It makes me feel guilty about writing about this stuff because I don't want anyone worrying about me.

Well, unless I crack my head open- then you're allowed to worry about me. So, just remember when I'm writing about stupid stuff that people do (including me) I'm just writing about it because human nature fascinates me.

Mom- you have the right idea, by the way. Bring air freshener with me on the bus.

OK, with that out of the way....

I'm starting to do the sugar wind-down. I know that for some, there would be a few "Last Suppers", but that's never been my style. Sure, when I do have one of my precious peanut butter M&M's I'm thoroughly enjoying it- knowing that there will be a fond farewell soon. I've started emptying my candy drawer at work and putting it on one of the cabinets for the guys to finish off. It's not like I have a year's supply or anything; I have two bags of candy. Peanut butter M&Ms and Werther's Originals. I've saved just enough for Thursday.

I've also told everyone that I will no longer be their candy go-to source (first one's free!) because I'm cutting out sugar. The boys at work are sad because they knew they could always count on me. Too bad boys- go buy your own.

I'm kind of excited about eating healthier actually. Now that I *think* (I don't want to jinx anything by being pompous about it) I have the head stuff behind me, it's time to focus on my diet. I promise, this will NOT turn into a boring diet blog. I'll still post about unfortunate outfits and weirdos I run into on the train.

I saw the most beautiful sunrise this morning as I pulled into the parking lot to catch the train. As I admired the beauty, the little ditty "Red sky at morning, sailors take warning" kept running through my head. Pshaw! I thought. That's stupid. I don't live in a state of hurricanes or any other type of "Act of God" events. OK, maybe a volcano might erupt, but I'm not terribly worried about it.

Still, every time I looked at the sky I thought about that stupid warning.

I got on the train, as usual. I didn't sit next to someone annoying or talkative, so as far as I was concerned, I was off to a good start. Until.....

GUM POPPING lady got on the train and sat next to me. She looks classy and I'd guess she's in her 50's, so surely should be way past the gum popping stage, right? WRONG! Every single chew created that extremely annoying POP! POP! POP!. Imagine listening to that right.next.to.your.ear for an hour. Of course there were no other seats available, and (yes, I'm this stupid) I would have felt bad getting up and moving. So, I listened to it for the rest of the ride to town. I swear, it kept getting louder and louder.

I do admit looking at her a few times, but she was oblivious to it all.

Sweet sanity was within my reach as we pulled into the train station. As per usual, I ran up three flights of stairs, walked three blocks and ran down three more flights of stairs to get to the bus tunnel. I like the bus tunnel because I can catch any bus and it will take me where I need to go. However, you get the bus lottery when you just hop on any train. You just never know what kind of situation you'll run into when you hop on any old bus.

Normally when a bus stops, twenty or so people get off before new people can get on the bus. Nobody got off.

Bad sign.

I got on the bus and my nose was immediately assaulted by a combination of urine and booze. I had to literally climb over legs that were sprawled out in the aisle. There were no seats available because most of the bus riders were asleep and laying down across both seats. It was just down-right nasty.

Thankfully, my final stop is just five minutes away from where I get on, so I did my best to not throw up all over everyone. Although, truth be told, I doubt anyone would notice because they all seemed to be in an alcohol-induced (AND most likely drugs) slumber.

I just hope that my clothes didn't absorb any of that atrocious smell. I have three important meetings to attend today and I just don't need that kind of reputation.

Red sky at morning. I'm going to take that a little more seriously from now on.

Heidi is going to start the 100-day raw food challenge on August 1st. While I totally support Heidi and Sam in their raw food lifestyle, it's not something I feel is right for me. I can, however, improve my eating habits and so I might as well start that improvement in support of my sis.

So, here's MY plan:
Over the period of 100 days, I plan on eating no processed sugar, drinking more water, and exercising at least 5x a week. Now we all know that trying to introduce 3 habits at the same time is a bad idea, so it's going to go like so...

August 1st- August 31st: No processed sugar, including anything that has sugar (or a derivative) in the first 5 ingredients of the label. I will also not eat any white carbs (bread, potatoes, rice, etc.)

September 1st- September 30th: Continue with no processed sugar, and add at least 90 oz of water every day.

October 1st- the end of the 100 days: Continue with no processed sugar, continue with 90 oz of water every day and add exercise for 30 minutes at least 5x a week.

I'll post my weight loss stats here once a week, as well as hold myself accountable to my goals. I'll let you know if I cheat. I promise.

My ultimate weight loss goal is 35 lbs., but I don't plan on losing all of that in the 100 days.

So, wish us (Heidi and I) luck!