Daily

If you're looking for humor, you might want to try back tomorrow. If you're looking for reflection or tips on how NOT to parent your kids, you've stopped in the right place.

Like most people, I find my family dynamics to be very interesting. I recently shared some info with hubby that surprised him, but it also allowed him to put together some puzzle pieces. He had several "aha!" moments that night. I have lots of "aha!" moments and lots of theories about why people act the way they do in my family.

Several people in my life know that I have issues with my mother. They also know that I attribute a lot of my good qualities to her. Not because she modeled these good qualities; it's that I was so turned off by her bad behavior that I did a complete 180.

I'm starting to realize that perhaps I should have just done a 90 degree turn; at least when it comes to the way I raised my kids. Because I never felt a safety net beneath me, I became too much of one. Because I was disciplined so harshly, I became too soft in the discipline department. Because I was made to feel that everything I needed was an imposition, I gave too freely.

I was a single parent, their only parent really, for 13 years and had plenty of time to devote to running my kids lives. I became their alarm clock, their financial adviser, their bank, and pretty much anything else they 'needed'. I didn't really give them much of an opportunity to solve problems on their own. It wasn't that I forced my opinion on them, I just never pushed them off the pier to teach them to swim, so to speak. If they had a problem, they came to me and I solved it for them.

I moved out of my house and in with hubby in 2003, when my boys were 20 and 22. Until then, I saw my boys pretty much every day even after they'd recently moved out on their own. I still cooked for them, and still solved their problems.

BJ's house was over an hour away, so now the boys were even more on their own. Son #2 was the least affected by this. He's always been fairly resourceful and relied on me very little. Son #1 relied on me more heavily- too heavily. Once hubby and I started co-mingling funds, I knew that I had to stop handing money over all the time. Needless to say, the boys were not prepared with 'swimming' lessons and so they started to fail miserably. It was very hard to watch and I've lived with a lot of guilt over pulling the rug out from under them.

I learned to 'swim' at the ripe age of 17. I was on my own financially and never looked back. I even got married and had two kids by the time I was my youngest son's age (something I'd never recommend to anyone, by the way.) So I have a really hard time relating to all of this, all the while knowing that I've created the situation.

They're learning to swim now because thankfully they're both smart. They're still not quite prepared for REAL life and the oldest son still tries to use me as a safety net more than he should. I've learned to push back because I know that he'll never be on his own until I cut those ties completely. I'm looking forward to the day when I can have a phone call from him that doesn't end with, "oh yeah, I hate to ask but.."

So, where does it all end? I wonder what kind of parents my kids will be. Will it flip-flop the opposite direction again? Will their sense of entitlement cause them to be selfish with their kid, or did they like the way I parented and become similar parents. Even better, maybe they will do a 90 degree change and just be normal parents....

...is there such a thing as 'normal' parenting?

I woke up this morning with a little bit of a sore throat, sore joints, and a bit of a sore attitude thank you very much. I know that when my attitude stinks, generally there's something looming around the corner.

Toward the 2pm mark today, I was feeling more sore in all the places that I was just a little bit sore earlier in the day. I decided to go home and finish my work in the comfort of flannel.

Now my joints are so sore that it hurts to even type. So, with that, I bid you a fond farewell for the evening. I must now keep company with my new lover, the flu.

Good thing I bought mistletoe today....

Poor hubby has to put up with me hitting on him all the time. I can't help it. He's just so darned cute and sweet. Uuhhhh, I meant handsome and manly.

He's out of town for a few days and I miss his cuddly, ummmm, errrrr, I mean buff body. So, here I sit planning all of the ways that I'll drive him crazy with my flirty ways when he gets home. I drive him crazy not in the good way, it's more like in the eye-rolling way.

I even suggested we go make out in the car, while sitting across his step-dad at breakfast on Sunday. Really, I did. It was perfectly logical when you think about it, and I'm sure you'll agree. There we were having brunch in a restaurant next to the airport with his mom and step-dad prior to his flight out. We still had lots of time after we finished eating, so he asked me what we should do to fill up the time between then and his flight. That's when I threw out my suggestion. Right in front of his step-dad (Mom was powdering her nose at the time). Yup, I did. Don't you think he was just asking for it though?

I got an unexpected opportunity for more flirting today. I had to overnight his forgotten cell phone charger to him this morning. I sent his charger all right. I also included a little perfumed lurve note with lipsticky lips all over it. There's no way he can say that he wasn't expecting that. I mean, he's been married to me for what, eight months now? He's got to be used to it by now.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have more scheming to do.

ASB made me do it, otherwise she says I'd die a horrible painful death. I'd prefer to die a tragic death, thank you very much, so I'll take the quiz.

Three names you go by: Snoop Lori D. ReeRee RisibleGirl

Three screennames you have: RisibleGirlGadgetGeekCheekyGirl

Three things you like about yourself: I always manage to see the funny side of thingsI'm kindI'm forgiving

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself: I'm neurotic about clutter (I can't stand it) I avoid confrontation, and really shouldn't I'm a procastinator

Three parts of your heritage: German Irish Scottish

Three things that scare you: Losing my childrenLosing hubby Losing my sister

Three of your everyday essentials: BJ's lips My computerCheese

Three things you are wearing right now: Hoodie sweatshirtSweatpantsSocks

Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment): Aerosmith Beethoven (Yeah, he's an artist- get over it)Don Henley

Three of your favorite songs at present: "Live like you were dying" by Tim McGrawThe entire third symphony (Eroica) by Beethoven "My Thanksgiving" by Don Henley (read the words...)

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months: Exercising at least five days a weekScanning all of my old pictures and creating an online photo albumMaking a complete meal out of fondue

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given): Trust Respect Friendship

Two truths and a lie: I have a life threatening disease I used to be a lounge singerI love football

Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you: Facial hair Eyes Lips

Three things you just can't do: Confront peopleGo to bed with dishes in the sinkGo out in public without makeup

Three of your favorite hobbies: Playing on the computer Board gamesRoad trips

Three things you want to do really badly right now: Cuddle with hubby (he's 926 miles away right now)Eat nacho'sGo to bed

Three careers you're considering: TeachingConsultingContinuing my current career (because I *heart* it so much)

Three places you want to go on vacation: Scotland Ireland New Orleans

Three kids names: Caitlin Aubrey Madison

Three things you want to do before you die: Make peace with the relationship I have with my motherBe a size 8 and stick with it. Live happily ever after with hubby

Three people who have to take this quiz now or die painfully: Iki Jay-B Frozen Mojo