Daily

Email to BJ: Can I have one?
Email from BJ: Maybe.....

Posting here for posterity. We have these discussions all the time, but he's never said maybe.

What universal law is it that dictates 1-2 days prior to your appointed hair cut and foil you have the best damned hair day you've had in weeks?



This happens every single time.

I was nervous going into the meeting today- not sure how my news would be received. I left the meeting feeling as high as a kite.

In a nutshell (probably won't be a nutshell- it'll be a novel, I'll betcha), she said, "I'm sure you know why you're here- [director of training] and I want you to be a part of our team". I told her that I hated disappointing her, but I wouldn't be moving to her team and outlined my reasons.

I further told her that this was an extremely difficult decision for me, and that I'd spent many hours going over it in my head. I also told her that training is something I love and it's going to be very difficult for me to give it up.

We talked for a while, and she showed me where I would have been on the org chart. I had no idea it was such a senior level position, which of course would have meant more money. But you know what? I wouldn't have liked it. It was managing people who do what I wanted to do; and we all know that it's my goal to never manage people again.

Kids, I dodged a bullet.

In the end, she told me that the thought I'd put into this and the reasons I'd given made her 'love' me even more and she told me that if I *EVER* change my mind or get buyers remorse or laid off- she will *MAKE* a job for me. She said that this was going to break [director of training]'s heart, so I told her that I'd tell him myself. I do adore the guy and would love to work with him again.

We'd never met in person before but really *understood* each other. She seemed a kindred spirit. I know that's weird, right? But she must have felt the same thing because she asked me if she could hug me at the end of the interview.

Well, of course! I love getting my hugs!

I'm SO glad that I ran into that guy on the bus this morning because I know he was placed there for a reason. If I wasn't so sure of this, I probably would have waffled and taken the job- for all the wrong reasons.

I know I did the right thing for me. She told me that I could be an 'honorary' corporate trainer and that she was going to put me on her org chart in white font. That made me laugh and I told her I'd be honored.

So, there we are kids. The hard part is over.

The best part (as if all of this wasn't good enough), is that she said it'll be a long time before they'll be able to take my stuff on- so I'll get to continue doing the things I love. Who knows, maybe I'll never have to give it up.

I feel blessed today, as I do most days, and that's a wonderful thing.

Gheesh, why do I have to be so clever with the titles? Now I'm craving waffles.

Buttery, maple syrupy crisp waffles. Drool.........................

This afternoon I'm meeting with the person who would have been my new manager had I chosen to move over to the training side of the fence. It's apparent that she's making assumptions that she shouldn't be making:

Purpose of meeting: I'd really like to spend a little time together before the larger meeting on 8/20 with the rest of the Corporate Groups. I'd like to hear about the training priorities in your area and what other things you're interested in being a part of within the Corporate Groups.

After very careful and thoughtful consideration, and conversations with Top Dog, I'd made the decision to stay where I'm at. It was really a tough decision for me because there are things about my current job that scare me to death. OK, just one thing- but that's enough.

I was ruminating (good word, huh?) on the train today about my decision and what exactly I was going to tell the new training director. It was that point that I started to waffle.

Did I really make the right decision?
Was my decision based on being right for the department, or based on being right for me?
Was Top Dog sincere in what he told me?
Etc. Etc. Etc.

By the end of the train ride, I was really concerned about whether I'd made the right decision. I'm usually someone that, once I make a decision, I don't waffle. Why was I waffling? Did this mean that I'd made the wrong decision?

I got off the train, and on to the bus that takes me the rest of the way. Whaddya know. The person who applied, but wasn't hired for the training director job was on that bus, sitting right across the aisle from the seat I'd chosen. I've *never* seen him on that bus and didn't even notice he was there until I heard, "Hi Lori".

He asked me, "So, have you made your decision?" I told him that yes, I'd made my decision and had a meeting with the new training director today and was going to break the bad news in the meeting with her.

I then said that it was a really difficult decison for me to make because I love training so much. After a bit of back and forth he said, "I think you've made the right choice."

We continued to talk through the bus ride and then the 3 block walk to the building. He explained that if it were anyone else, he'd suggest going into training- but he thinks that I'd be really torn if I moved over to training because I'd be required to put other departments ahead of my current department in priorities. He said, "you'd be constantly between a rock and a hard place".

He's right. If that happened, I *would* be really torn and I'd be writing post after post about how guilty I felt about the decision I'd made. I really REALLY like my team and would feel horrible letting them down.

I never told him that I was waffling on the train, but I can tell you this; I'm not waffling any more. I don't believe in coincidence. I believe that he was meant to be on that bus in that seat today.

Now, if I could just get the idea of waffles out of my head, I'd be great.

I was surprised to step on the scale this morning to see that it hadn't budged since the last time I weighed myself last week. I'm the exact same, down to the ounce! If I didn't know better, I'd think that there was something wrong with my scale because my clothes are certainly fitting better than last week.

I'm not going to worry about it too much because this phase of my 100 day plan is not about losing weight. It's about cutting out sugar. Actually, none of the phases are about losing weight- although that will naturally be a side affect if I stay true to my goal.

I haven't cheated even one time. I'm very good at that- no cheating. I think it's the OCD in me.

Usually when I'm trying to lose weight- I'll lose a bunch then hang on to that weight for a while, then lose another bunch. It's just how my body works.

I think when/if I add exercise (still on the table about that because I'm just not sure that it's worth the jerking around that it will cause), I'll probably really get going on the weight loss.

So, there's my weekly report. 14% toward my final goal gone.