Daily

A lot of people would take getting rear-ended in their car as an example of why their life continues to be one road block after another, and I think a different person can see that same fender bender and be grateful it wasn't worse. … I think if you try to angle your life in those ways, then fate, destiny, karma opens itself up to you and allows for more growth.
~ Neil Patrick Harris

Right on!

I'm out of the boot, but that's not saying much. I got another cortisone shot in my ankle today and was told that I had to give up the fun shoes FOREVER. He told me that I had to wear an athletic shoe with heel stabilization (even at home), along with the orthotics he had specially made for me. Bleh- no style whatsoever, but very expensive. What is UP with THAT?

The surgeon said that I must have a very high pain tolerance because I acted as if "we were having tea and crumpets" when he shot the cortisone in. I didn't even flinch. Ummmm, put yourself in my shoes for the past two years and you'd have a new definition for the pain scale. What's a four or five to me is probably a nine or 10 to someone else, based on what I've read.



Goodbye Converse.... Goodbye fun heels.... Goodbye sexy boots.....Hello shoes that don't go with anything in my closet except sweatshirts, jeans and curlers in my hair.

I see him in four weeks. He wants to see what the cortisone, icing every night, and more diligence to wearing the foot gear at home (I always wore the boot outside of the house, but come on- sitting on my keester at home?)

I guess I can be thankful that I'm not in an office environment anymore because I *know* I'd never get myself to wear athletic shoes with dress pants (and what about a skirt? ::shudder:

I'm not going to guarantee that I'll be 100% compliant if I am dressing up. In fact, if you are a betting person- go ahead and bet that I won't be compliant in those circumstances. Come ON, in May it'll be a year since the injury and I wasn't wearing special shoes until October (when he found the fracture and tear.)

Baby-steps into old-lady land are required here. The fact that I took the news from the cardiologist better than being told I’d have to wear ugly shoes the rest of my life says quite a bit…

The cardiologist did a modified version of the tilt-table test today and said that he was able to catch my problem right then and there. I was hooked up to an EKG and blood pressure monitor in his office. He said I have Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome and my main problem is that I’m not fully aware when it happens. For example, when he stood me up from a laying down position, my blood pressure plunged and my heart rate went up. I didn’t “feel” it, which is why I’m getting injured so often. He said that I need to pay better attention to what my body is telling me. Hmmm, I thought I was….

He gave me a list of things to try before he decides to give me medicine:

• Drink more fluids plus add fluids with electrolytes like Gatorade/propel/smartwater.


• Drink caffeine (which is opposite of what the other cardiologist said.. so I’m just going to leave that one alone..)


• Increase salt in my diet


• Lower-body resistance training to get the blood moving in my lower extremities


• Physical counter-pressure maneuvers (squeeze hands, tense muscles)


• Lay down for at least five minutes when I start to feel faint


• Smoke cigarettes. (I’m kidding!)

He’s scheduled an echo and I see him in two months. If the above stuff doesn’t work, then he might try something that makes me retain water and/or Ritalin (seriously.. isn’t that weird?) He said that I’m tired all the time because every time my body does this, it’s like getting an adrenaline rush and then my body has to recover.

While rooting around on the Internet I found an interesting article that pretty much follows everything the cardiologist told me, and explains quite a bit of stuff I've been experiencing.

• I subscribe to a site called dealloco.com on my feedreader. Amazing deals to be had, and I do most of my Christmas shopping through this site.
  
  Anyway, one of the deals today was a fire escape ladder that hooks to a window. It reminded me of when I was a kid and was FREAKED OUT about "what if there's a fire?" I've always been rather literal, even as a kid. I'd hear stories in Sunday School about the Holy Ghost prompting you when something bad might happen (at least, that's how I interpreted it...) so, if I ever worried about something, I was POSITIVE that it was the Holy Ghost prompting me about [insert worry of the day here]. Worry wart. Some things never change.
  
  One of those worries was a fire. I don't remember how old I was, but it was in the house before our house in Yorba Linda (thebirthplaceofRichardMNixon) <- Factoid: I can never say the words "Yorba Linda" without following it up with "The birthplace of Richard M. Nixon".
  
  I remember my dad sitting at the edge of my bed several nights talking to me about this and then installing one of those fire ladders outside my window. Thanks, Dad, for making me feel safe.


• I've come to the conclusion, "once a mother, always a mother". You worry about your kids when they're little and you worry about your kids when they're grown. It seems to me that the problems when the kids become adults are just as worrisome- only they typically have a bigger impact. I think I'd rather have the little kid worries to worry about.


• Einstein has had a little bug the last couple of days. I started to obsess about it, so finally we took him to the vet. The conclusion was stomach flu of some sort (I'll leave this to your imagination)and allergies (swollen eyeball). I'm so used to his daily activities and schedule that little warning bells go off when he's not himself. He had a nausea shot at the vet, and he was so still last night that I kept looking over at him to make sure he was still breathing, because usually he's a bit of a monkey at night. Reminds me of when the boys were babies and they slept too long.


• We hired our landscapers to remove Old Man Winter from the gardens. We were out yesterday and came home to find six people working in the garden beds. I was giddy with excitement at seeing all this dead stuff (plants, not bodies) being hauled away out of the yard. It took them one day to accomplish what would take me WEEKS to do. I am so excited that all I have to do from now on is plant cool new plants and leave the rest to the gardeners. Squee!


• I've been immersing myself in the series, "Six Feet Under" for the past few weekends. I've seen it before and loved it. BJ hates it (of course) and says that it sounds like a big Soap Opera. He said, "Soon you'll be telling me that you're watching 'your stories'". It's kind of amazing to me how well we get along and enjoy each other's company, but our taste in movies and TV shows are so far apart, with the exception of a few. I refuse to question the reason.


• I'm going to see the cardiologist tomorrow to see about getting a monitor surgically implanted. I'm 100% for the idea because I want this fainting stuff figured out. Too many broken bones and injuries and it has to stop. I'm seeing the foot surgeon on Tuesday because my foot isn't healing AT.ALL. I'm starting to feel depression seeping in because I can't go out and do anything without my foot hurting- sometimes even more than my face. I've gained 15 lbs due to my foot (well, and coconut M&Ms), because the foot surgeon told me to get off of it as soon as it starts to hurt. That's usually about 10 minutes. Bleh. Yup, I'm feeling depressed. I guess that's not so hard to understand, given the hand I've been dealt the past couple of years, right? Thankfully, I can still see the good. Most of the time, anyway.

..not that I take valium mind you.

I'm working away with my trusty side-kick Einstein by my side. He usually sleeps most of the day while I'm working. ESPECIALLY if he's gone for a long walk in the morning (thanks BJ!)

Sometimes (OK, often) I look over at him and watch his little tummy move up and down as he breathes and I get a rush of endorphins.

Man, if I could just bottle that feeling I'd be a millionaire.