Einstein the Puggle

What a HUGE waste of time THAT was! There were three dogs there, including Einstein. The other two were six months old (Einstein being three months old) and were horribly misbehaved. Einstein didn't seem to want to be any part of those alien creatures. There were only two times that they let the puppies off the leash to play, so not much socialization going on at all. Einstein started to warm up to playing the second time, but was still not quite sure he wanted to be pounced on by the crazy dogs. He'd run and once they started chasing him, he'd hide under a little bridge contraption. All we learned that evening is that Einstein is a very calm, well behaved puppy.

For the most part....

In other news.....

I went to the oral pathologist yesterday (not an oral surgeon…) This doctor specializes in TMD and is the first step before potentially going to an oral surgeon for the dreaded re-break and re-align of my jaw. I will certainly give this doctor a thumbs up for thoroughness. I was there from 2pm until 4:30. Yup, I got my monies worth. He wrote almost three pages of notes and did all kinds of testing and moving around this and that. Unfortunately his person that does his x-rays was ill today so he wasn’t able to do one. He will do a full x-ray of my jaw structure at the next appointment in two weeks. I’m happy about that, because until I see it for myself, I’ll never believe that my jaw healed properly.

I woke up today feeling like I'd been in a boxing match. My face is so sore today.

What he thinks is going on is that when I fell, I displaced the disc between the jaw bone and the socket- but he won’t know for sure until he gets x-rays. He said that they used to surgically fix this sort of thing but they’ve learned that after a while (many months), your body adjusts to the displaced disc and after a couple of years there’s no real difference between the outcome of surgical patients and non-surgical patients so they’ve moved to just letting the body fix itself to avoid the risk of surgery. This means a long recovery time.

It also means that I’m back on soft food for a loooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg time. Bleh I see him again in two weeks- the same day as my cardiologist appointment. Sounds like a fun (not) and long day.

I applied for a job that I actually really want yesterday. I have to apply for three jobs a week to receive unemployment, so I'm constantly looking and applying for jobs that I might like. One of my friends (the notification didn't tell me who) signed me up to receive a link to the job and that friend was totally right. It's at a hospital, which is great considering how accident prone I am.

I don't know what it pays, but I'd be willing to take a substantial cut in pay because I think it will eventually allow me to telecommute and I know I'd really enjoy the job. I think it would also allow me to have enough time to keep working my business after hours. I don't see this job as requiring a lot of overtime like my previous jobs. I'm crossing my fingers on this one.

Bleh- is this one of THE MOST boring posts you've ever read? I was bored writing it so I can only imagine how you feel.

Hey kids, I think I'm starting to get into this "new normal" stuff. I'm finally in a bit of a routine (which still does NOT include TV during the day- yay me!). I'm also finally getting around to getting the stuff done that I've needed to take care of for a while. I think it's time for a this and that, don't you?

• As you may recall, I had a referral to a heart study specialist that I was supposed to see back in the beginning of February for the fainting episodes. I had to cancel that because our COBRA was a mess. I'm now scheduled for Thursday, 3/26. It'll be good to get this thing figured out once and for all.


• I might have mentioned this already (sorry!) but looks like my jaw didn't heal properly. The face doc is sending me to a TMJ specialist first and then if that doctor can't help me, then I go to an oral surgeon to get my jaw re-broken and wired shut. I'm hoping for option number 1, as you can imagine.


• Since we're on the hypochondriac train, I just remembered that next month is my follow-up MRI on righty and lefty. I am kind of looking forward to getting that over with too. It's been hanging over my head for six months, but I've tried to put it away in that little box in my brain that I keep for stuff I don't want to think about. I don't have any sense of dread over it- but it would be nice to have that clean bill of non-cancerous health.


• Einstein is going to puppy school tonight! I have a feeeeeeeeeeeeling that he'll be ahead of the other pups because they're going over tricks, potty training and nipping. He has all the general tricks down pat, but he's still a little nipper. He is learning that nipping= jail time (hardly a punishment since it's in the kitchen with his toys, food and water and he can see us through the baby gate). After once or twice in jail, he stops nipping at my legs. He lets me know that he wants to do it though, which is hilarious. He'll run up to me, growl and bark and then just before he hits my leg, he stops and sits. Good boy.


• BJ's mom rented a beach house on an island here in our lovely state and invited us, Einstein, the boys, "my" girls (I've decided that my relationship with the girls has nothing to do with the boys- so there), and of course Dollface. We had an absolute wonderful time and spent many hours laughing, talking and taking pictures. I'll make the non-family pictures public after I post this so you can see them. It was a beautiful place right on the beach. Einstein was a good little walker and enjoyed himself thoroughly. Who wouldn't with all the new people to play with?


• I'm working on creating more 'serious' stuff for my portfolio. I think people might get the wrong impression that I'm too goofy. I can see where that might turn some people off. Back to the drawing board, but at least it's something I enjoy doing. As you can see, I'm wearing my work uniform (today it's green sweats and a pink hoodie) and my boss is cracking the whip again. Isn't that little heart on his chin precious? Sigh....

I have been and will be away for a while. I'm really trying to make a 150% effort on getting my business up and going. Hanging out in the blogosphere doesn't make that task very easy, so I'm ignoring y'all (but thinking about you!). Please feel free to ignore me in the meantime.

Einstein continues to amaze me with how smart he is. He's so fun to train and gets really excited when I ask him if he wants to do some tricks. I know... what he hears is blah blah blah tricks blah blah blah. Tricks = treats. I've kind of run out of the normal list of commands to teach him and he has every one of them down pat. So, I think I'm going to go with more difficult tricks. Next on the docket is "commando crawl". Wish us luck on that one.

C: you asked what my method of training was. I can't really say that it's any particular method. Einstein just happens to be VERY motivated by treats. They have to be the right treat, otherwise he pushes it away with his nose (with a great deal of force, I might add, making it very clear he does NOT want THAT treat.) We also do tricks three times a day. Usually I'll do it when he's going crazy because that seems to calm him down and get him focused. Also? He really does live up to his name. I've never known a dog as smart as he is. I know I'm his 'mom', but really- he's exceptionally smart.

I've received a couple of nibbles on my consulting biz, which I'll share once I'm back to being social. I might get to learn about and teach environmental compliance. I never really thought about that, but ya know what? Why not? I'll bet that business will be more and more important, so I might as well get on that bandwagon.

Going back to chewing hasn't worked out so well for me. I need to call the facial surgeon and get in. I think I might have moved a bone around my nose, because I'm really swollen and black and blue under my eye today, it's painful, and it's felt like I have something in that side of my nose since last night. I'm also VERY dizzy. Of course the hypochondriac in me is telling me that I'm dizzy because maybe a bone is poking me in the brain too. Now that the doctor's office is opened, I'll give ol' stingy drug doc a buzz.

Anyhoo- that's what's going on in this household. Gimme a week or so and I'll be a little more social.

Love ya, mean it.

Doesn't that sound horrible? It's not what it seems.

Not too long after I wrote the last post about needing a good solid cry, I was walking around the kitchen with Einstein under foot. I was wearing my 'puppy proof' slippers so didn't notice that he was lying on my foot when I started to take a step. I ended up kicking him across the floor and into the fridge. Hardwood floors make for a good swift slide, dontchaknow.

He cried and ran off immediately. I got down on the floor and called him to me and he had the most frightened look on his face than I've ever seen on him. He wouldn't come to me and it was obvious that it was because he was afraid of me.

That did it. I broke down and cried. He came right to me and let me hold him while I had a good solid weep. He stayed with me, kissing me and nuzzling me for about an hour and finally fell asleep on my lap after I'd cried it out. He didn't try to nip me even once (so, that's the trick? cry? ha ha).

I never want to see that look in his eyes again. I've quit wearing my slippers in the house and am trying to remember to look down when I'm walking around. I'm not used to that. My mom always taught me to keep my head straight when walking (we even did the book on the head thing a few times, right Mom?). I believe it promotes a look of self confidence, but that's not necessary around the house.

I'm still in a pretty big funk. Frankly, I'd like to stay in my sweats and sit in the dark with a sleeping puppy, but I know that's not good for me. BJ is probably wondering who this person is that has replaced his wife.

BJ, I'd like you to meet depressed Lori. Hopefully, she won't be a guest around here for very long. In the meantime, do your best to ignore her because there is nothing you can say or do that change how she feels. She's afraid, feels unwanted and worst of all, unmotivated.

Unmotivated. That's the word of the month. That, and bleh.

I need to go out and get some more puppy treats. We have training sessions three times a day for about 10 minutes each. He now "leaves it" without whining, and he's learned to shake (sorta- he just picks up his paw and waits for me to grab it-so cute!!!). But getting puppy treats means that I'll need to get Einstein off my lap so I can go get ready. Maybe I'll wait a while. I enjoy the puppy cuddling.

Einstein's a keeper, even if he IS a lot of work right now. We've had him four weeks and I truly cannot imagine our lives without him. Don't ask BJ about that right now though, because Einstein had an accident in BJ's office this morning (first accident in over a week). Oops.

Whatchoo lookin' at?


I've been away for a while. I think I don't feel like writing when I'm down because I feel like such a whiner. Yes, I know I have a lot to whine about, but I also have a lot to be grateful for. I truly do believe that, even if I'm depressed.

I *know* in my heart that I wasn't let go because I was a bad employee. It still feels awful. I didn't think it would, but it does. I've received email from people I've worked with along the way that have written things like:

I still cannot believe any company that knew what it was doing would let you go. You were one the best processors I ever had, and other people I knew have said so many good things about you, I'm still amazed. I tried e-mailing you at work for the heck of it, and getting your out of office reply made it sink in that all these changes are real. It isn't [name of evil empire] without you.

I kind of need to hear stuff like that right now, ya know?

Anywhocares, on to this and that:

• Einstein continues to be adorable and smart. We 'think' he's potty trained, but still keep a close eye on him. He’s 9 weeks old and knows the following commands:
  
  Sit, Stay, Fetch, Lay Down, Look at me, Leave it (put a treat in front of him and make him wait until I say OK), and Don’t Bite (a very important one- my hands have become hamburger). Here's evidence of most of it.
  
  Sorry bro, potty talk- avert your eyes! Einstein has designated the herb garden as his potty ground of choice. The upside to this is that he smells herbal fresh after he does his business. The downside is that we won't ever use THOSE herbs for cooking. I never really did anyway. I was always in fear that the deer used it as a potty ground too.


• BJ and I went to a TOTALLY LAME job fair yesterday. Even lamer is that it was a 'together' thing. I never thought we'd ever go to a job fair together. We saw news cameras there and they panned past us. I'm really surprised they didn't focus on me. Sheesh. That could have been my big break, being a previous Little Miss America contender and all. I was having a GREAT hair day, I'll have to admit. I got several compliments from the folks I talked to at the fair. Too bad nobody was really hiring or interviewing people with great hair.
  
  The job fair consisted of people standing in their booth, not taking resumes, handing out their job openings on a sheet of paper (mostly sales, even Avon was there!) and telling everyone to go to their website to apply online.
  
  Why oh why did I dress for success? People were there in sweats and flip flops. I might as well have done that too. Nah- you'll never see me in public in sweat pants (well, except for the time I broke my face. I was so out of it, I didn't have time to do my hair or get dressed up to go to the ER.)
  
  I did coax some training vendor information from one of the health care organizations, because I also plan to add HIPAA to my list of training resources. It wasn't a total bust in that regard.
  
  BJ and I then drowned our sorrows at Dairy Queen. He got a burger and I got a shake. I don't think this no-chew diet is producing any weight loss because of my choices, but at least I'm a cheap date


• I canceled my cardiologist appointment because there's some confusion about our COBRA benefits. I'm sure it'll be worked out eventually, but I don't need the stress of wondering if several thousand dollars of tests won't be reimbursed, thankyouverymuch. I'm just going to have to wrap myself in bubblewrap and wear a helmet for the time being.


• BJ and I are getting on each others' nerves a little bit, which is completely understandable. We haven't upped the ante to poking each other in the eye yet, so I think we'll be OK. We've been tossing out snippy statements, but then apologizing about 10 minutes later. I think my constant need to pick things up and put them away is really nerve wracking to him, and his 'leave it to put away later" is nerve wracking to me. If that's our greatest marital issue during this horribly scary time, then I think our marriage is on safe ground. I hope with everything I have that this will be the time we look back on as the worst we've ever had, but survived it just fine. Please hope that for us too.

So that just about sums up my life these past few days. I am 'bout due for a good solid cry, so maybe I'll find a movie to help it along a little.