Einstein the Puggle

This not writing in my blog much thing is getting out of control! Especially when I don't post on Thanksgiving!

I didn't even call anyone on Thanksgiving. I hope I get a hall pass though, because BJ was sick and we laid very low this year.

It's not too late to write about the things I'm thankful for. In fact, I'm trying to do that every day on my GratitudeLog.

What a year this has been, eh? A wild ride, for sure.

The year started out pretty bleak. I knew I was getting laid off, I'd just broken several bones in my face just a couple of days prior and BJ lost his job. All in that order.

But that layoff turned into a wonderful new career, working for myself and BJ working for himself too. Sure, I've had a few moments of "what if this doesn't last?", but those moments are fleeting because of the nice nest egg we have in our savings thanks to the severance pay. I don't seem to have a problem getting new projects and clients, and I've not once marketed myself. It's all come from my reputation with people I'd worked with or for in the past as they've moved to new companies.

So, all those times that I whined about how hard I was working? I guess it was worth it.

BJ's business took off too. I mean really, what are the odds?

And my face? Well, the bones didn't heal properly, but you'd never know it by looking at me. Just how does that happen? I don't know- but I'm glad it did. When I watch shows like CSI, I think about what a medical examiner would think if they looked at my bones. Ha! It kind of makes me laugh a little.

This was also the year that Einstein came into our lives. What a little bundle of joy he is. BJ told me from the time we met that he NEVER wanted any pets whatsoever. But bless his heart, he saw how the year started out and decided that getting a dog would make me so happy- so he finally said yes. I never really pestered him, I just joked with him about it mainly. Even the day he said, "OK", it was a joke.

He told me he had to go out of town for a business trip (that, of course never happened since he lost his job too!), and I replied with a picture of a puggle and the words, "then I want one of these". I made sure he wasn't joking, because I couldn't believe he'd actually said "OK" to a puppy.

And now? Well, you couldn't pry Einstein away from BJ. He just loves that little guy and tells me all the time how much Einstein means to him. He even said that it's a good thing that we'll never get divorced because I'd have a fight on my hands in regard to custody of Einstein. Who knew? BJ is just as surprised as I am about what a great little companion Einstein is for him.

I knew back at the first of this year that things would turn around. As I've probably said a million times, things ALWAYS turn around. I just needed to watch carefully for the open doors. Open doors don't scare me. I suppose that comes from living for almost 50 years. I can clearly see things for what they are- - learning experiences. Some good, some bad. But there really is no such thing as a bad learning experience as long as you've learned something from it, right?

BJ came into my life at the exact right time. Those learning experiences have come fast and furious the past few years and I don't think I would have had the fortitude to face them without him by my side. I'm so glad that I overcame my fear of relationships and grabbed onto his hand. I can't think of anyone more perfect for me than BJ.

My sons are happy and have started living their own lives. I used to be afraid of that idea, because I made them such an important part of who I was. If anyone asked me to define myself, for many years I would have said "mother", and would have had a hard time thinking of anything else. Now I have many things that define me, but "mother" will always be at the top because of the beautiful souls that were given to me to raise. I'm thankful that they are happy in their new lives. I'm especially happy for the women they have chosen.

I became an aunt for the first time this year. It's so fun to see my baby sister as a mother. I love to see the capacity of love she has for that little baby. I love to see some of her features on his cute little face. Mostly, I love seeing my sister so happy.

I'm thankful for my family and especially thankful that my family doesn't bicker and quarrel. Life is so short and family is precious. Ranger Mike and I used to be 'mortal enemies', but you couldn't find two people closer than we are if you tried.

I'm also very thankful for all of YOU. If I didn't have this place to write down my feelings, my thoughts would just fester in my brain because I really do hate whining in real life. I'm not called Pollyanna for nothing! I felt stronger because you assured me that I was strong. That's been so important for me to 'hear'. I'm so glad that I'm now friends on Facebook with many of you because it allows me to take a peek into your lives and give back some of that support. Wow, I've made such good friends here. The amazing thing is that people who read my blog know me MUCH better than friends in real life (many of which do not even know that I have a blog.) I think that's because in real life, I try to focus on helping vs. receiving.

I may ignore my blog, but it's always here when I need to write. I don't think I'll ever give it up. I suspect that I'll become more active at some point, but right now I'm just living life and thankful for all that I have.

I know- it's been a while. I feel guilty about posting because I don't have the time to read other peoples' blogs. But then I remind myself that this blog is for me and my family so:
A: I can search for stuff in my "diary" and
B: My family knows what's going on in my life because as everyone knows, I despise talking on the phone!

Things are rolling like crazy in this household. Both of us are busy with our consulting careers and thank our lucky stars that we were let go from the chains of employment (aka working for 'da man.)

I was a little frightened when I first started with Big Fish, because everything was so new and foreign to me. I know from past experience that when I feel fear, I'm about to go into a huge growth spurt. I'm settling in quite nicely and think that I'm going to really be able to make some significant changes for that company. How cool is that?

(it's cool- trust me)

I met my first shark yesterday. I was quite appalled at his behavior, but chose to go the high road as usual. I'm working with this guy through my contract with Big Fish. He's another vendor that provides information security training. His stuff is way out of my league technologically speaking and I never saw him as a competitor. Apparently he sees me as one, which is ridiculous. He's been busy thumping his chest to Big Fish about how they should let him do the kind of training that I *can* do. Apparently he does not realize that I really could toss this vendor over the side of the ship if I really wanted to, and find another vendor to do what he does.

Oh, and he offered to give me a commission if I sell his product to other people. That was the part that was appalling. I'm representing Big Fish in this project, not my company, and he has no business even offering that to me. I can assure you, that I have absolutely no plans to do any sort of business with this person. I wish I didn't have to through Big Fish, but I'll just keep my yapper shut and let him think he's running his show.

In other news...

• I'm trying to wean myself off of the drugs from the first head injury. I'm off two of them, but worried about the last two. I'd really like to see if I can go without, but worried that I won't be able to. Time will tell.



• The surgery on my tendon was a complete success. I have full range of motion in my jaw now and can actually chew stuff. I won't likely take that for granted anytime soon. I see the surgeon next week about potential surgery number two. On nice days, I'm rarely in pain but on rainy dreary days I sometimes feel as bad as when I first took the face plant almost a year ago. I am still numb in parts of my face and my lips get tingly (not in a good way.) I'm sure that I'm the only one that notices it, but I still have swelling in the cheek area.



• BJ's a-fib is gone, but he's still on lots of drugs. He hates that, but you gotta do what you gotta do. He's been so good about exercising and eating healthy. It's been a lot of work and self-control, but he's done it and I'm very proud of him.



• Einstein is becoming a wonderful dog. I guess he's not really a puppy anymore since he's 10 months old. He drives BJ batty at night with his squeaky toys and squeaky ball. He loves making things squeak and turns into a full-on puppy between the hours of 6pm and 9pm. Thankfully, BJ thinks he's as cute as I do.

I think that about catches me up.

I'm fairly certain that the blogosphere is writing about what happened eight years ago, September 11, 2001. BJ and I watched a two hour documentary about 9/11 last night and wow, it all came back as if it had happened yesterday. I was once again devastated for those that lost loved ones on that day, and devastated for the fear that day brought to our citizens. I have not forgotten.

Today I'm going to write about something wonderful that happened to us eight months ago; January 11, 2009. That wonderful event was the day we brought this cute little thing home.



Einstein is nine months old and still a little pain in the patoot sometimes, but I am grateful every.single.day that he's ours to love and cherish. Not a day (maybe even hour?) goes by that he doesn't do something to make us laugh. Sometimes, my heart just goes to complete mush when I see some of the looks he gets on his face. He's the cutest little guy ever.

Sure, Einstein is still a puppy and is going to do puppy things, like want to play when we're eating, or getting a little too mouthy when he's playing with us. In time, as long as we reinforce the behavior that we expect (BJ....), he's going to be a GREAT dog.

I can't remember the last time he's chewed on something he's not supposed to. It's been literally months. He's a good little walker (for me... BJ thinks it's better for Einstein to run around and sniff everything... SUCKER!). He *never* potties where he's not supposed to potty. And, best of all he's a great little cuddler.

Sometimes when I forget what joy looks like, all I have to do is see his happy face when he's at the dog park, going for a walk, or even just playing fetch in the back yard (or house... I'm naughty that way.) He's the most joyful little dog I've ever encountered.

Here's to eight months of extra love and joy in this home and to many years more.

I have this picture on my computer's desktop. I must have seen it 100 times, but it never gets old to me. It makes me smile, pause and acknowledge all the little things that make me happy and how life is about living in the moment.

Einstein is extremely happy when he's splashing around in the stream at the park. And then? He's extremely happy to go for a walk. It doesn't matter what we do- he's just overjoyed to be doing it.

This edition of this and that will be so random, it'll make your head swim.

• I broke a tooth last week, all the way up beyond the gum line. My dentist fit me in the next morning (yay!) and had to do a root canal (boo!). He said that my nerve was exposed and was surprised that I wasn't screaming in pain. Something tells me that the 3x a day lyrica for the bone pain in my face might have something to do with my ability to handle nerve pain in my tooth.



• Einstein was neutered last week and had to stay indoors for 10 days. 10 very LONG days. Poor little guy probably didn't understand why all the sudden we weren't going to the doggy park or swimmin' in his pool, or even going for walks. During this 10 days he gained 2.5 lbs and I believe I did too.



• I'm enjoying this self-employment stuff a LOT. The awesome thing is that when I hear people say that I've exceeded their expectations, I know that it's going to help ME succeed and not just my employer. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy helping my employer be successful....



• My little nephew is ADORABLE and totally has my dad's eyebrows.



• I was telling a lady at the dog park today that my mom and dad's dog is really spoiled. BJ interrupted me to make a point of the fact that I was letting Einstein drink from my water bottle while sharing that story. OK, yes, my puppy is spoiled too.



• I got a call from the cardiologist's office telling me that they had more heart monitor readings from me than they usually get. They said that I just need to give them five more "really good" almost faints and I can turn in the monitor ahead of schedule. I don't know if that means that I've been pushing the button too much, or that I have a real problem. The only obsessing I'm doing is wondering if I've been pushing the button when absolutely nothing is going on.

I think that just about does it.