Public Transportation

I went for my third post-op trip to the foot surgeon today. Things look great on the outside, but I'm building up too much scar tissue on the inside, so I have to beat up my foot as much as I can stand. The surgeon told me to make BJ mad and then ask him to rub my foot. My surgeon is a funny guy.

Either I've been too drugged up in the past to understand what the surgeon has been telling me- or he never really told me the full scope of the surgery. He said that he took out a tunnel of bone that goes from one side of my ankle to the other, about an inch wide. Hmmmm... THAT explains the pain. He also told me that I'm having pain up the back of my ankle and lower leg because the tendon is getting too tight from not being able to move my ankle around. He sees physical therapy in my future.

He said that there's nothing I could do to harm my foot (except what happened in the first place, fall and break stuff), so I can so whatever I want as long as I'm willing to put up with the pain. That's comforting in a way, I guess.

I've been driving myself around the last few days and having a blast being on my own. It's been over a month since I've been able to go anywhere by myself. Unfortunately, I tend to overdo it when I get excited about things, so now I'm sitting with my foot up on a pillow with a percocet (without the 'cet since tylenol is not my friend) on board.

Here's the list of things that I've enjoyed about being temporarily disabled:

1. I got to ride in a wheelchair at the airport and go to the front of security and board the plane first. The wheelchair was fun until my brother Michael started pushing me and tried to scare me. Some things never change.



2. I got to see what it was like to be under suspicion for carrying a bomb on a plane. Apparently the stuff they use to make the crutch pads is also used to make bombs. I was frisked from head to toe (from a woman- meh!) and all of the contents in my backpack were wiped down with bomb detection stuff. After that, security had to make a decision as to whether they'd want to be on an airplane with me because they STILL couldn't tell if I was bringing on bomb-making materials. I told them to not take the company I keep into consideration (my brother).



3. People are nice to me when I'm on crutches. In fact, today a man offered to take my shopping cart to the cart return for me. I thanked him profusely



4. I got to ride in one of those silly carts at Walmart. It's not as fun as it looks, but I do recommend that everyone do it at least once! Do not judge my hair in this picture. I haven't had it cut in 2 months, but I'm willing to forgo the pride to let you see me make a complete fool of myself.
   
   

I'm not going to make a list of things I haven't enjoyed, because I fear you'll go blind from all the words.

Next up on my list of things to blog about in no particular order:

• Our family visit to see my parents


• My new HTC EVO 4G. Holy smokes, it's my new favorite toy. ::ahem:: I mean phone.


• Ummm... I've lost my train of thought- but there's something else. Stupid drugs...

PS- Einstein is hosting a 40.00 gift certificate giveaway on his blog. Everyone is eligible to enter. You don't even have to like dogs (but why wouldn't you? tee hee)

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

So, there I was, sitting on the train (mostly) minding my own business when I hear this weird noise coming from the woman sitting next to me. I looked over and saw that she had her head leaning against the window and...

I swear I'm not lying....

She was sucking her thumb. I looked away quickly so as not to stare, but kept looking back to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. I probably did this about five times until "plop". That was the sound I remember from when my kids sucked their thumb and pulled it out to ask for something.

I kid you not.

Of course, I was then very concerned about her teeth. Fortunately, one of her friends boarded the train just after this gal woke up and so I got to see her smile. Yup, she's been a thumb-sucker for a long time. I'd judge her age to be in her early 30's.

Part of me feels bad for her, but the other part of me is kind of jealous that she has enough self esteem to not give a rip if someone sees her doing this in public.

Yanno... maybe I should take that up. No calories and no hangover. Maybe this gal is on to something.

I have so many letters to write, so thought I'd just do it in one fell swoop.

Dear friends and family,
I'm sorry I've been incommunicado, but I've been busy trying to save my bacon job. Really, one day this will all be behind me (according to Eckhart Tolle who has been a wonderful read before work in the morning.) I can't promise I'll be in touch soon, because I'm horrible about that sort of thing anyway.

Dear favorite blogs,
Read above

Dear guy on the elevator at the bus station this morning,
You've made me even more certain that I need to buy and wear a spy camera so I can take pictures without being noticed. You know those people that I've already written to (see above)? They'll thank me for it.

Dear guy on my floor that thinks he's really important,
Really? Really? Do you have to wear a wireless headset and pace back and forth talking loudly on the phone? Come on- from what I've heard, you're really not THAT important.

Dear temporary project manager that I've written about before,
I swear to all that's holy, if you join in on ONE MORE conversation in which you weren't invited, then well, I can't be responsible for my actions. I have a head injury you know... I can't be held responsible for anything anymore. Seriously, I'm tired of the "prairie dogging" that you do every time someone comes over to my desk to talk to me. You make their visits exponentially less enjoyable. I've heard you tell people that you keep a bowl of candy at your desk so people will come visit. I'm not sure I'd admit that, really.

Dear lady with four toes on the train today,
Wow, I have to give you a high five for having the great self esteem to wear open toed sandals. I'm sorry that I kept looking at your feet, but I was seriously counting over and over again to be sure I didn't miss one. Good for you!

Dear 'Large Marge' that sometimes rides my bus when I'm going to the train station,
Hey, I used to be a Large Marge too, but I never sat my butt on top of someone and then tried to wriggle it in a space that was clearly to small for me. You made me a wee bit uncomfortable. Only my husband is allowed on top of me, if you get my drift.

Dear BJ,
I'm so glad you finally got a camera phone, and even happier that you shared the pictures from your hotel with me. Really, this one had me HOWLING with laughter. Your company really knows how to put you up in a nice hotel, don't they?


And then, your email today describing the rest of the accommodations? Well, I'm sorta sorry for laughing at your situation, but I really did need a good laugh.

There is also the obligatory duct tape around the railing on the stairs up to the room. Plus, in the front lobby the really cool tile they picked out is now shattering when people step on it because they didn’t get the floor underneath smooth before they laid it.

Well, I think that about covers it.

Love (or not, depending on who you are),
Lori aka RG

I saw the most beautiful sunrise this morning as I pulled into the parking lot to catch the train. As I admired the beauty, the little ditty "Red sky at morning, sailors take warning" kept running through my head. Pshaw! I thought. That's stupid. I don't live in a state of hurricanes or any other type of "Act of God" events. OK, maybe a volcano might erupt, but I'm not terribly worried about it.

Still, every time I looked at the sky I thought about that stupid warning.

I got on the train, as usual. I didn't sit next to someone annoying or talkative, so as far as I was concerned, I was off to a good start. Until.....

GUM POPPING lady got on the train and sat next to me. She looks classy and I'd guess she's in her 50's, so surely should be way past the gum popping stage, right? WRONG! Every single chew created that extremely annoying POP! POP! POP!. Imagine listening to that right.next.to.your.ear for an hour. Of course there were no other seats available, and (yes, I'm this stupid) I would have felt bad getting up and moving. So, I listened to it for the rest of the ride to town. I swear, it kept getting louder and louder.

I do admit looking at her a few times, but she was oblivious to it all.

Sweet sanity was within my reach as we pulled into the train station. As per usual, I ran up three flights of stairs, walked three blocks and ran down three more flights of stairs to get to the bus tunnel. I like the bus tunnel because I can catch any bus and it will take me where I need to go. However, you get the bus lottery when you just hop on any train. You just never know what kind of situation you'll run into when you hop on any old bus.

Normally when a bus stops, twenty or so people get off before new people can get on the bus. Nobody got off.

Bad sign.

I got on the bus and my nose was immediately assaulted by a combination of urine and booze. I had to literally climb over legs that were sprawled out in the aisle. There were no seats available because most of the bus riders were asleep and laying down across both seats. It was just down-right nasty.

Thankfully, my final stop is just five minutes away from where I get on, so I did my best to not throw up all over everyone. Although, truth be told, I doubt anyone would notice because they all seemed to be in an alcohol-induced (AND most likely drugs) slumber.

I just hope that my clothes didn't absorb any of that atrocious smell. I have three important meetings to attend today and I just don't need that kind of reputation.

Red sky at morning. I'm going to take that a little more seriously from now on.

Guy sitting next to me (Guy): Do you ride this train every day?
Me: No, just Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Guy: I just wanted to thank you for getting ready for work before you got on the train, nodding toward a lady pulling out her entire line of makeup
Me: Ummm, thanks?
Guy: I watch her do this every single day. The thing is? It doesn't make a difference. She looks the same before and after- neither of which is good looking.
Me: Hmmmm... (squirming uncomfortably)
Guy: Just watch, you'll see...

We sat there in silence while she applied her makeup.

15 minutes later....she's finished applying her makeup and got off the train.

Guy: See?
Me: Well, I was more worried about her poking herself in the eye if we crossed rails to really notice her technique.
Guy: You'll just have to trust me.