Memory Lane

I was just going to email this to my online son (he's not really my son, but I've adopted him) Jay-B, but decided that I'd just go ahead and share it with the world.

It just occured to me that the "B" might just be his middle initial. Most of my real life friends call me 'Lori D'. "D" is my middle initial. That started from the fact that in meetings I like to introduce myself as Lori D. (insert last name- here) I started adding my middle initial in my introductions as a joke, even at meetings at work, and really enjoyed the reaction it got. Especially from the execs. The reaction ranged from the double take, to the raised eyebrows to snickering. So, I just kept on going. I've been doing it for over 10 years now and still itch for when people ask me what the D stands for.

Ready? (I swear, I do this EVERY time, no matter who asks) It goes something like this...

..so what does the "D" stand for, Lori?

I usually add a pause for dramatic effect, then I say, "Dy-no-mite" said in my best Jimmy Walker voice.

Yep, it's true. Crazy that I've made it this far in my career, isn't it?

I was sitting not too far from hubby and his 'other' best friend (the guy best friend) while they were playing Halo 2 yesterday. About 20 minutes into the game, I hear hubby whispering several strings of swear words. I thought it was funny that he was whispering (huh? why whispering?) the swear words, but even funnier was the story that it reminded me of.

One of my friends went to a wedding a few years ago and saw that a primo wedding viewing seat was available. She had no idea at the time why the seat was available, especially just moments before the wedding started, but happily took it.

Suddenly reason for the vacant seat was crystal clear. The person sitting next to the vacant seat had Tourettes Syndrome. The kind that makes you swear. To her horror, the guy starts dropping loud F bombs, S bombs and pretty much every other bomb you can think of. My friend is a really nice person and didn't want to hurt his feelings, so she stayed in her seat.

My friend told me that as soon as the wedding started, the bomb shower turned from loud swearing to whispers. I don't know why, but picturing my friend sitting there listening to an onslaught of whispered swearing while watching a bride walk down the aisle just cracks me up.

So, there's your advice for the day. If you must swear at weddings, please whisper.