Memory Lane

Tomorrow is your birthday as well as Dad's birthday. Too bad you held out for the 7th, because it would have been awfully cool to say you were born on 6-6-66. A day late, and a dollar short, eh?

Even worse, having to share a birthday with your dad? Wow. Well, I guess we can call you the gift that keeps on giving, right?

JP, I don't talk about you much on my blog, but it's not due to a lack of love. Like my other siblings, you are very special to me and I celebrate the day you came into this world.

I don't remember much about when you were born, because I was only six. I think my memories with you start about the time you were three or four. One memory I'd like to erase is the one where I broke your little leg playing *cannon ball shooter with you. You used to love it, but I don't remember you asking me to do it anymore after that.

*For the uninformed, cannon ball shooter was me laying on my back, propping my brother on my feet and shooting him into the air. Kids, don't try this at home.

It's so easy to make you laugh, and that's fun for me. I love to tease you just so I can hear you laugh and say, "oh Lori...". One of the things I treasure about you is your laugh. There's a guy in my department at work that has a laugh just like yours and it makes me smile and think about you every time he laughs. Lucky for me, he laughs a lot.

You've been through an awful lot in your life, yet you don't complain. I could learn a lot from you, little brother. The very tip-top place in heaven? You'll be there, and there is no doubt in my mind about that, nor anyone else's mind who knows you.

I love the rare times when you and I get to talk alone. I love it when you share things with me in confidence and I'm honored that you trust me with those things. I love it that you're willing to try new things. Remember when we had the "eat weird things" day? I do. I still have the picture of me with a mini octopus hanging out of my mouth. I'm glad someone else appreciates the weird things in this world. Too bad you live so far away, we could do that on a regular basis because there are lots of weird things to eat. Did I ever tell you that I ate donkey in Italy? I thought about you when I ate it because I knew it would make you laugh.

I have a memory that I think about from time to time. It was right after your brain surgery, which caused you to have complete amnesia. I remember the first time I saw you after the surgery and the way you looked at me. It was if you were looking through me. I was used to seeing a sparkle in your eye when I'd walk in the room and that sparkle was missing that day because you didn't know who I was. I can't even begin to describe what that felt like. It felt really empty. I can't even imagine what that was like for you.

I can't believe that my 'little' brother is 42 years old. That's just craziness.

Happy birthday Joel. I love you.

I'll fully admit that I tend to brag about my work accomplishments here on my blog. Probably way too much. Maybe it's because I want my kids and grandkids to have a record somewhere that their mom/grandma was really smarter than they thought. For some reason, I turn into someone who seems coo-coo for cocoa puffs whenever kids are around.

Or, maybe it's because I still don't believe I'm as smart as other people think I am. I know I'm smart- don't get me wrong. I just don't think I'm Albert Einstein-smart, especially after bonking my head. Thankfully, the bad brain days are few and far between. KNOCK.WOOD.

Today I was in a meeting as one of the presenters to a group of about 30. I was presenting on the phone, rather than in the room, which makes it a little awkward. Someone else was presenting something and couldn't figure out why something wasn't working- so I casually mentioned what the problem was without even seeing it in person. About five people piped in things like, "How do you know this stuff, Lori?"; "Lori knows everything about everything", etc. For the rest of the meeting people kept saying things like, "Lori probably already knows this, but...."

We all got a laugh out of it. I also got three casual job offers from the meeting. Funny how knowing bits and pieces of technology makes people think you're a brainiac. I just happen to be the only technology-minded person in that group, so I come off looking smart. It's all smoke and mirrors, people. Smoke and mirrors....

If they were to ask me about math, forget it. Just ask my 5th grade math teacher- Mr. Lee. He spoke to me as though I was the dumbest person on the planet.

Look at me now, Mr. Lee! You can take your yardstick and....

(wow- where did THAT come from?)

One of the things I like about having a blog is being able to go back through the years to read past entries. I've added a "on this day" feature in my comments that provides links to posts I've written in previous years on that date.

Today is Casey's 25th birthday and I'd written a happy birthday post to him 2005. As I read it again, I thought, "I wouldn't change a word of this post."

So here's a repost, just because I can...

Tomorrow is your 22nd birthday. That is so hard for me to comprehend because the time has passed much too quickly. Sometimes I miss that little boy that used to love to cuddle with me and promised to buy me pretty sparkly diamonds.

I remember feeling so guilty when I was pregnant with you. I thought I'd never love another baby as much as I loved your brother and I didn't think it was fair to bring you into the world under those circumstances. But then you were placed in my arms and I knew that it was indeed possible. I loved you so much that I thought my heart would burst.

I'm sorry that I didn't protect you from those mean nurses that insisted on naming you Yoda, but really, look at your baby pictures sometime. The resemblance is uncanny. I thought those eyes of yours would swallow your face.

I remember being awestruck at how you kept looking around at your surroundings only minutes after birth. It was as if you were starved for visuals and you were just taking it all in. I don't remember ever seeing a baby look around as much as you did.

The pediatrician had a good laugh with me about your first visit with him. The first baby they gave him was a girl, and he knew that wasn't right. Then they handed him this little peanut of a baby. He tried to give you back too, because he thought you'd be a Howard Huge like your brother.

You were always quite a little ladies man. Your next pediatrician was a woman and she used to laugh at how you'd flirt with her before you were even one year old. You'd give her this really coy little look and rub your toe on her leg. When you entered school, it was nirvana for you. You always had at least two girlfriends at a time. Your fifth birthday party consisted of four girls and one boy. I like those odds for you, kiddo.

I hardly ever put you down when you were a baby because you were such a cuddler. You just loved to lay in my arms and play with my hair and stare into my eyes. It was magical and I always wondered what you were thinking. You were probably plotting your next meal....

I remember always sitting with you for a while before you'd go to sleep when you were little. Sometimes it was to read a story, sometimes it was to just listen to you talk. Sometimes the things that came out of your mouth had me on the floor laughing. One time I looked at you and had my hand on your cheek and said, "I love you my sweet little boy". You put your hand on my cheek and said, "I love you my sweet BIG mommy". There was another time when you were about four and you looked like you were gazing into my eyes. I asked you what you were thinking and you said, "You have a zit on your nose". Yeah, a real charmer, you were.

You always seemed older than your years and I was constantly amazed at your lack of fear. I don't think you were even eight years old when you had purchased something with your allowance that was defective. You asked me to drive you right back to the store so you could return it. You didn't want or need my help, just a ride. I was in awe of you when you did that.

We've lived without a man in the house from the time you were six until you moved out. As you got older, you turned into quite a handyman and I appreciated it because we were living paycheck to paycheck. I don't know where you learned to do the things you did, but it made me feel safe having you around. When you were 15 and the gas water heater went out, I didn't have enough money to hire someone to install it. You said that you could do it, and I knew that you could. And you did. Now that I think about it, having my 15 year old son replace a gas water heater on Halloween gives a new definition to fright night.

I remember the years that I was not allowed to call you anything except your name. If I accidently called you honey, sweet boy, or anything except for your name in public I'd get the dirtiest scowl and a tongue lashing when we got to the car. Now you put up with it all and you even say "I love you" to me in front of people. You really are my sweet boy.

I am so proud of you, and I always have been. We had a few months of rocky roads in your early teens that lead you to living with your dad, but it became a great discovery for both of us at how much we loved each other. I hated not having your presence in our home. I was so happy when you wanted to come back.

After high school when you decided to leave the nest and spread your wings, it nearly broke my heart. I adored spending time with you every night after you'd come home from work. But I also realized and appreciated how important your independence is to you.

So, here I am the night before your birthday wishing just a little that you were that sweet baby again just for a little while. I miss smelling your sweet baby hair (when you finally grew some) and I miss watching you sleep. At the same time, I am so proud at what a wonderful man you've become. Everyone that knows you thinks the world of you. You are trustworthy, you have a kind heart and you are fiercely protective of those that you love. I can't possibly imagine being more proud of you than I am.

I'm so lucky that I was given the gift of you.

I love you, son.

I used to be a serial prankster when I was a kid teenager all my life. One of Kathy Howe's photos reminded me of one of my all-time favorite pranks.

(Kids, try this at home, it's really fun. Really!)

1. Tear two 1-2 inch squares off a paper napkin


2. Take the lids off of the salt and pepper shakers


3. Pour salt into one of the napkin squares


4. Pour pepper into the other napkin square


5. Put the salt napkin square into the pepper shaker and screw on the lid


6. Put the pepper napkin square into the sale pepper shaker and screw on the lid

The trick to this is that you have to have a fairly full salt and pepper shaker, so nobody would see the napkin piece. Fortunately, most restaurants are on top of their game with the salt and pepper shakers.

Unfortunately, I was never around to watch the hi jinx begin. But my vivid imagination told me that it would be really funny when someone thought they were putting salt on their food and out came the pepper.

Sad, isn't it? Sad that something like this still cracks me up?

Well, I guess the good news is that this sort of thing kept me out of trouble.

Then again, I guess the word 'trouble' is relative.

I have NO idea why this popped into my head, but I thought those of you with the humor of an adolescent (like me) might enjoy the laugh.

A couple of years ago, I received a birthday card from one of my aunts. It had an owl on the front with really big eyes (as owls tend to have.... )

I opened the card and it read, "Happy birthday to someone with a great set of hooters".

She then added her own sentiment- something to the effect that I have pretty eyes and that card made her think of me.

I probably should tell her sometime that yes, while I do have a nice set of hooters- it's not something I want to hear from my aunt.