Memory Lane

Feb 16th:
Today Bob asked me where I've been from Seminary. I was so jazzed that he actually noticed I've been gone. WOW!

March 26th:
Our Jr. class president held the door open for me, but not in the usual way. It was neat, but hard to explain.

March 28th:
Today I was supposed to go camping with the biology club, but as punishments go- I was. A TOTAL BABE was going too. A surfer with really fantastic looking glasses. In fact, these were the first words I said to him - "Hi, I LOVE your glasses". He looked surprised.

May 31st:
I got totally bombed with water at the church picnic, then Elder Hope took my picture. I see him staring at me all the time in church. I think he likes me or something.

May 26th:
Only 12 days left of school and I'm a little depressed. I have a huge crush on Mr. Kruze and realized that I would never see him again.

June 1st:
today I went to a dinner with my home economics class. Only 2 guys went. One of them- Pete- has the most fantastic bod I've ever seen. I think Mark W. likes me. Lately he is making advances toward me. He's hinting quite openly about it too. Too bad he's a year younger than me. He has pretty eyes.

August 20th:
Tomorrow we leave for vacation. I hope I meet some cute guys, even though I still like LaMar.

::older and wiser RisibleGirl::
Were ALL girls this boy crazy at that age? Or was it just me? Jheesh!

I found the 'diary' I kept while dating the guy I mentioned in this entry. I remember that relationship lasting for a long time, but it was just under two months total.

Here are a few steamy boring excerpts:

Terry has had a growing interest in me. Everyone knew it was bound to happen. I don't think dating him would be a good idea because most of my friends think he's weird. Personally, I don't though.

So far, it's casual but really starting to move along.

One month later:

Gosh I really don't know where to begin. Terry had been coming over quite often three weeks ago and I guess that's when it started. We first held hands at the dance two weeks ago and kissed for the first time a week ago. After that, we've kissed whenever we've said goodbye. Friday night was different though. We kissed twice in the school parking lot, once when we got home, twice when he left and when we were waiting for the movie to start kissed some more. We kissed 13 times!!!!! Then we got into a silent fight. I didn't know why he was mad, and he still won't tell me.

::older and wiser RisibleGirl::
I now have a clue as to why he was mad after all that kissin'. Any guesses?

Back to 16 year old RisibleGirl:

On Saturday we were supposed to go to the dance, but I got in trouble and we couldn't go. He came over anyway. It was great until my mom showed up. He had his arm around me and then we had to move when she saw us.

Today after church he talked about us getting married, but I'd have to wait until I was 21 because he has to go on a mission first. That's a long time from now.

Next day:

Today we kissed a SUPER LONG one- about two minutes worth. In my house, yet! Terry told me that he'd been thinking about me all day and told me that he loved me.

One week later:

Today Terry broke up with me. He says he just lost the feeling. Personally, I don't think he ever had it. I'm not really sad though, because we are still friends and I think it will flare up again.

I think we would have been better off seeing less of each other from the beginning.

/end of epic love story.

Holy cow, I had a crush on that young boy. I just might have to scan his picture so you can see what all the fuss was about.

March 26 1975
Today was a GREAT DAY. I was at the store with Mom and LaMar was there. He said, "Howdy". I don't know whether it was at me or Mom, but I'm hoping it was me.

I wonder what LaMar thinks of me. I hope he doesn't think I'm weird or ugly. I really like him. I have for 3 1/2 years. WOW.

March 27 1975
I am still on cloud nine about LaMar saying "Howdy". He is really neat. Elva told me he saved her life and this little boy once. He WOULD do something neat like that. It's his style.

May 25 1976
I have been depressed about LaMar since Saturday. Denise made it worse by telling me that his mother probably told him to take me out and he just doesn't want to.

May 31, 1976
LaMar wasn't at the church picnic. I so wish he was. I think today could have been the DAY! I know I could have broken the ice today. He had to work though.

I have been super mellow today. All I have done is listen to love songs and think about LaMar.

June 17, 1976
I really need to get a tan. I think LaMar likes girls with tans. I just want to go out with him ONCE and I'd be happy. I might as well be invisible.

July 29th 1976
It sounds silly, but my every thought centers around LaMar. People say he's very self centered, but I say if that's what he digs on, then it's fine with me. He has that right! He's the only one in the world who I believe deserves to be conceited. What a hunk of a man.

He has beautiful sincere brown eyes with dark long lashes. Black hair GREAT body. He is a TOTAL BABE. Oh, how I wish he would ask me out. If he did, I would be in heaven.

::Older and wiser RisibleGirl::

Good grief, if he EVER knew all of this stuff I was writing about him, he'd have a restraining order against me.

I'm happy to announce that I'm FINALLY over LaMar. I've been over LaMar since 1977, so you can call off the men in the white coats now.

This will make my mother CRAZY to re-live this memory because my first date wasn't exactly as she'd pictured it would be from the time I was little. I think my mom had ideas of my date picking me up at our house, me walking gracefully down the stairs and all that.

Ummmm... that's not what happened.

Before we get to EXACTLY WHAT I WROTE in my journal, let me tell you how this date came about.

I asked a boy out for my first date. Yup. Later, I made it a rule to never ask boys out, or call them on the phone and stuck with that rule until I got married to the bearded eye-roller- I even have a hard time calling him on the phone and we're MARRIED!

Really, the story about how I asked this guy out is worth mentioning, because it shows that I was really working it. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16 years old, and well, time was a wastin' at age 16.6 years. The guys weren't busting down the doors to ask me out, so I had to take matters into my own hands.

The guy (dang, I can't even remember his name, but I sure had a crush on him!) was a piano player running around in the same circles and circuits (county fairs, etc.) as my brother and me (I've mentioned that Michael and I used to sing together, and I played the piano right?)

My church had an annual event at Knotts Berry Farm, and I decided that I wanted to go there with this guy (dang, what IS his name?). The next time we saw each other was a 4th of July event where his band was up before ours. Here's how it all went down.

I quickly put my music over the top of one of his notebooks so he would 'accidentally' leave it there. And, gee wiz- wouldn't you know, I didn't notice I had it until I had a babysitting job the next day.

I called him from my babysitting 'gig' and told him the horrible mistake I'd made and asked him if he wanted to come over and get his music.

He took the bait! I never did let him in, so it was a long awkward conversation on the front porch (the baby was asleep- I'd planned that too). Finally, I got around to asking him if he'd like to go to Knotts- not as a date, mind you- he'd have to buy his own ticket, which I conveniently had. He took the bait again!

And now- in the 16 year old words of young RisibleGirl- an account of the hot really dorky date:

First of all, I had to drive. We went to Knotts Berry Farm. I bought the tickets in advance with the understanding that Don (ha! That's his name!) would pay me back later. Well, to start with, I pulled out in front of a car when I was going to park. Then I didn't remember to let him open my door. Then we ran into my friends there and they were teasing me in front of him about it being my first date, and asking him if he was going to kiss me and so forth.

We didn't even hold hands the whole night! Then on the way home I think he tried to hold my hand, and I started laughing. Then when I dropped him off, I guess he wanted a kiss and I again started laughing. Instead of kissing him, I said, "Oh yeah, you forgot to pay me".

Hmmmm... anyone want to place bets as to whether we went out again?

Verbatim, mind you...grammar, punctuation and angst all left in for your entertainment. I was always good at spelling, so there.

05-05-1976
I'm kind of anxious to go to school tomorrow because of Billy. I really like him and he's really nice and goes out of his way to talk to me. Friday he asked me for my phone number. He said it was because he needed to know about pizza orders. I hope he wanted it for more than THAT. Earlier that day, his friend was sitting at the same table as me and Kathy. I was going on and on about my love life and how I was looking at one prospect at the moment. I don't remember what exactly I said, but I hope David didn't get any clue as to who it was. That would ruin EVERYTHING.

It seems like I am always liking one guy or another. Every one says that I will marry young. I hope so. I don't want to be an old maid. I also want children really bad. I just love babies. I want two children. A boy and then a girl. Of course, I won't be too disappointed if it doesn't work out that way. I wonder what I'll be like in 20 years. I'll be 36. Wow that will be 1996.

I wonder if the millennium will happen by then. I hope I don't have children until after all the suffering and pain is over. I wouldn't want to see anyone that I brought into the world go through that.

::older and wiser RisibleGirl here::
Sorry Casey. I really didn't mean that I wanted YOU to be a girl. I love you just the way you are, even though yes- I did put a bonnet on you when you were a baby just to see what a little girl of mine would look like.

Note how quickly I go from crushing on Billy to the next entry where I've broken up from a relationship that hadn't yet started in the last entry. Strangely I don't have anything about the relationship in my scrapbook- must've trashed everything in a fit of anger.

Probably just as well, this stuff is scary enough.

08-07-76
Terry still wants to be broken up and I'm beginning to think he's a turkey. He's going out with new girls who not very attractive and don't have good values. I'm not saying that I'm better than anybody but I don't understand. That is a real blow to the ego. Maybe he doesn't like me anymore because I didn't let him go too far. I let him kiss me and THAT'S as far as it went.

Maybe God didn't want this to happen because he wants me to be with LaMar. I just don't know. I don't think LaMar even knows that I like him. Everyone else knows. I've never so much as danced with him, although I have sat next to him in his car and he even talked to me.

I wonder if it is really possible to love someone who doesn't love you back or even say hello to you. I've known him for five years, so I guess it's possible. Maybe I'll go to the pool when he's on lifeguard duty and drown so he'll have to give me artificial respiration. How FUN!

::older and wiser RisibleGirl here::

Note how quickly I go from the angst about broken up relationship to being in love with other boy. Wow- drown so he'll have to give me artificial respiration? FUN? Yikes.

I went to my yearbook and looked up LaMar's picture. Sheesh, he was not all THAT dreamy. In fact, he was rather dorky looking, and I busted out laughing over all the angst (total of 7 years of crushing, from the time I was 12 until I gave up the ghost at 19, whilst supposedly listening to the speakers at church) over that boy.

Man, this stuff is HI-Larious!