Work Related

Yeah you... the one who keeps leaving lipstick rings around the water cooler spigot at my office.

Stop it. You're grossing me out.

Here are a couple of tips:

You really don't have to

A: Wear so much lipstick that it transfers from your bottle to the spigot
or
B: Stick the water bottle up so far that the spigot is inside of the bottle

Really, if a little water splashes on the floor because you left a bit of room between the spigot and the bottle, it's OK. I'd rather slip on that drop of water and fall on my butt than imagine flakes of your lipstick in my water bottle.

Thank you. Now go learn to blot your lips.

My co-worker and I had some fridge cleaning fun last Thursday. There's no way I'm going to volunteer to do such a filthy thing unless I get to document the vile conditions in my blog. So for your pleasure, here are the gory details:

Stinky Fridge Chronicles

Caution: This page includes a lot of pictures. Not recommended for slow modems.

Note: Slow modems are not recommended, period. *snicker*

The lunch room in our office has started to become more political than the 2004 presidential election. First, there were innocuous little signs about heart runs, March of Dimes walks and other volunteer type of activities.

Then signs about not drinking the emergency bottled water cropped up. As if they were bunnies, the signs multiplied overnight. Suddenly there were signs about making more coffee when you take the last cup, refilling the paper towels when you use the last one, and the usual "your mother doesn't work here, so clean up after yourself" type of signs.

Yesterday, there was a "please keep the lunchroom door closed because there is stinky stuff in the fridge" sign. The author of this note even took the time to add graphics. Of course, everyone had to go in and out of the lunchroom and complain about the stench then proceed to close the door. Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaay... so, that's going to fix the stink?

I sit by the lunchroom and got tired of hearing all the door shutting and complaining, so I investigated the stink source. I found several possibilities in the fridge. I think the big offender was a very fuzzy, mushy black cantaloupe (or at least I think that's what it was.) It was kept company by yogurt that expired four months ago, milk that expired two months ago, and some grapes well on their way to becoming raisins. I did what a sane person would do and threw the damned stuff out. It took me about 10 minutes. I'll bet it took longer to make the sign.

People at work are weird....oh, and lazy.

While attending a staff meeting today, I was reminded of a funny thing that happened on Halloween a few years ago. I used to work at a bank branch. Every so often we were supposed to have robbery drills before work. We'd have to follow all of the procedures as if we were really being robbed and police were informed in advance of the drill so they wouldn't waste their resources on responding to a fake robbery.

We never knew when we were going to get robbed, only that it happened during staff meetings (held prior to opening the branch.) If someone was missing, it didn't usually occur to us that we were having a drill. We just assumed they were out ill.

One year our manager had the brainy idea of holding this on Halloween. Imagine this scenario if you will.

Our normally very serious investment rep got to be the robber that day. He decided to dress as a clown for Halloween. Big polka-dotted costume, huge clown shoes, and a huge blue fro-type of wig, and of course, a big round clown nose.

We were in our staff meeting and we hear a pounding on the door. There's bozo standing there with a rifle (it was a piece of wood carved like a rifle.) We go through the drill and all have a good laugh about how the "robber" is dressed and get back to our staff meeting.

The phone rings and it's the police. They said that there is a hysterical woman in the parking lot where our branch was located. She saw someone dressed like a clown holding a gun, get out of the car and break into the branch. The officer knew that we were having a drill, but wanted to verify that this "clown" was one of our employees. I was laughing so hard that tears were coming out of my eyes. That poor woman, I can't imagine what she must have been thinking!

And people think banking is so serious. Ha...

I do not:
A. Disclose where I work
B. Blog while at work (if I am blogging during work hours, please check my records. You will find that I was on vacation or ill that day)
C. Use my name, or names of any of my co-workers in any of my blog entries