Work Related

Sometimes we have consultants visiting our floor for various reasons. Since the cubicle across the aisle from me is empty, that's usually where they put these guys.

I'm pretty sure the latest consultant thinks I'm a fruitcake (and he's probably right).

There are a few good reasons why I work from home 3 days a week. One of them is that people tend to hang around my cube when I'm there. Usually it's not business related; and if it is- well it tends to morph into fun times at Lori's desk. I get WAY more work done when I'm at home. I can't help it if people like hang around my desk, although I do try to shoo them off if they've been hanging around too long. I do have a job to do, afterall.

Anyhoo- I try to be respectful of this guy sitting to the right of me by keeping things as quiet as possible. I think he secretly enjoys the entertainment though because I've caught him chuckling to himself.

AHA! Caught ya!

I have a feeling that what happened last Thursday was something he shared among his friends. The very idea of this happening in the workplace is too nutty to even comprehend.

One of my pals on the floor noticed my new toy (which I've yet to blog about- sue me), and I mentioned that the music I have on it sounds great. Even my Donny Osmond music.

She gave me a look and then started up with "I'm a little bit Country". I joined in "I'm a little bit Rock and Roll". We sang that entire song together. I do believe we were even dancing a bit.

What makes the scene even funnier, is that my li'l friend is about six feet tall, is African American, and has dreadlocks.

Can you imagine what must have been going through that guys head?

I'll fully admit that I tend to brag about my work accomplishments here on my blog. Probably way too much. Maybe it's because I want my kids and grandkids to have a record somewhere that their mom/grandma was really smarter than they thought. For some reason, I turn into someone who seems coo-coo for cocoa puffs whenever kids are around.

Or, maybe it's because I still don't believe I'm as smart as other people think I am. I know I'm smart- don't get me wrong. I just don't think I'm Albert Einstein-smart, especially after bonking my head. Thankfully, the bad brain days are few and far between. KNOCK.WOOD.

Today I was in a meeting as one of the presenters to a group of about 30. I was presenting on the phone, rather than in the room, which makes it a little awkward. Someone else was presenting something and couldn't figure out why something wasn't working- so I casually mentioned what the problem was without even seeing it in person. About five people piped in things like, "How do you know this stuff, Lori?"; "Lori knows everything about everything", etc. For the rest of the meeting people kept saying things like, "Lori probably already knows this, but...."

We all got a laugh out of it. I also got three casual job offers from the meeting. Funny how knowing bits and pieces of technology makes people think you're a brainiac. I just happen to be the only technology-minded person in that group, so I come off looking smart. It's all smoke and mirrors, people. Smoke and mirrors....

If they were to ask me about math, forget it. Just ask my 5th grade math teacher- Mr. Lee. He spoke to me as though I was the dumbest person on the planet.

Look at me now, Mr. Lee! You can take your yardstick and....

(wow- where did THAT come from?)

For the most part, I've been having lots of great brain days. Sometimes, even though I'm having a great brain day, I do and say things that are hilarious. I provide myself and my co-workers plenty of entertainment. Pretty much most of them know by now that I'm not always 'right in the head'.

For example, I was in a meeting with one of the project managers on my team. He asked me a question and I answered "yes", but was shaking my head "no". He said, "Well, which one is it, Lori? Yes or no?" I asked him what he meant by that and he explained what I'd been doing. I didn't even realize it.

Sometimes I provide quotes for the executive. News articles are always better with a quote from an important person, right? Well, typically here's how the process goes:

1. I come up with a fabulous quote


2. I send it to the person who I'm "quoting", and ask them if I can quote them on this


3. I get approval


4. Viola!

This past Thursday I wrote a news article about the most recent Trojan Horse/IRS scam* and was trying to come up with a quote from an important person. Here's part of the quote I came up with, "we appreciate your virility...."

Yup, I got a bunch of teasing over that one. Especially considering the virility comment was in a Trojan Horse article. You just can't make this stuff up.

*Public Service Announcement: Do NOT open any unsolicited email that appears to come from the IRS. The IRS never initiates communication through email and they will never ask you for personal information through email. There's a recent phishing storm linked to the IRS that could cause you to inadvertently download a NASTY Trojan Horse virus to your computer if you click on the link or download the attachment.

Email exchange between me and favorite project manager:

PM: Just got done with a meeting. You have time to talk?
Me: Not to you. George Clooney maybe... [phone number] <-only to be used by George
PM: OK, I'll call you Monday

2 seconds later

Ring Ring
Me: George, is that you?
PM: Yeah it's me. Now about that spreadsheet....

Meh- I really REALLY thought it was going to be George.

I have access to the roll-up status report for our department of 80 some people (I think.... I don't know, it's a lot of people). I have access to this report so I can find 'bragworthy' things to report up to Top Dog's manager for a weekly update that goes out to everyone in her hierarchy.

This roll-up report doesn't list names next to the accomplishments, nor does it list departments. It's supposed to be a "we all did these things as a team", however, the information is rolling up from somewhere and someone is certainly getting the credit from their manager for the items listed on the report.

So, I'm browsing through the list of things accomplished this week and I come across this gem:

"Assisted in rebuilding the Security Services pages and transitioning the engagement service listings from the old site to the new ones. Overall spent more time than originally anticipated do to the issues from the transition".

"Hmmmm", I think to myself, "I didn't write this, yet I was the one that did this rebuild..... without ANY assistance."

Not only is someone taking credit for something they didn't do- they're saying it took longer than they anticipated- thus making it sound like they worked themselves to the bone and had to work overtime to do it.

Hmmmmm..... NOT COOL! I'm getting so tired of people taking credit for my.good.work. What is wrong with people? I'd never stoop to such a level. In fact, I'm sharing the credit for things I'm doing with my favorite project manager, just as he's sharing credit with me. When we report stuff to Top Dog, we say "We", not "I".

I gave my manager the heads up on this, but will just leave it at that. I have my ways of finding out who actually wrote that in their status report, but as long as my manager knows the scoop- I'm going to let it go.

The person who reported that they did this work? Karma will get them. It always does. If it doesn't? Well, I don't really care. People like that must always be looking over their shoulders and that's punishment enough.